Linka's Loud House
by Mr. Imitator
Summary: In a house with 10 brothers, life is never easy for Linka Loud. Being the only girl comes with its own challenges, as well as its own perks. Join Linka and her crazy brothers through their chaotic life as they learn to live together in The Loud House! All chapters are original ideas by me or suggested by others. (Co-written by DiamondDollDark & Mademoiselle-Star2018) [On Hiatus]
1. Punch Bugged

**Welcome! This story was originally written as the fourth chapter of my GB Loud House story (which is no longer up), but I thought it'd work as it's own story, so I decided to post it as such. In addition to this, there will be plenty more original chapters originally meant for that story, so I hope you all enjoy it!**

* * *

It was a beautiful Saturday Morning in the Loud House. As Linka walks out of her room, dressed in her usual attire, she acknowledges the viewer, "Aaaaah, Saturday. The first half of the greatest part of the week: the weekend." She walks down the hallway, still talking, "No school, no homework, and all the free time to do whatever I…" She was so focused on talking, she didn't take notice to a soccer ball on the floor until she stepped on it, propelling her forward, "WAAAAAAAA!" When she landing on her face, she heard a loud pop and felt a rush of air underneath her.

Just then, her brothers all rushed out of their rooms, and they gather around Linka. Loki asked, "Linka, are you OK?!"

She stands up and dusts herself off, "I'm fine." She looks down and notices the soccer ball, which was now flat as a pancake, "Can't say the same for this ball, though."

"Aw, man!" Lynn Jr. approached his sister and snatched the ball away, "Look what you did to my ball, Linka!"

Linka looked guilty and apologized, "Sorry, Lynn. It was an accident."

"Oh, yeah? Well, _this_ is on purpose!" He had his fist raised when he said 'this', and then punched his younger sister in her right arm.

"OW!" She grabs her arm and yells, "What the heck, Lynn?!"

"HEY!" Without warning, Loki picked up his sport loving brother by his jersey and slams him against the wall.

Lynn lets out a painful 'oomph'. Lynn was scared out of his gourd. His siblings, excluding Linka, were glaring at him, so he asks, "Whoa, whoa! What did I do?"

Loki explained, "Lynn, there is literally _one_ rule in this house: NEVER! HIT! LINKA!"

He asked, "Why not? We all punch each other all the time!"

Linka interjected, "He's right, Loki. You do." She looks back to the viewer, "Whenever my brothers get on each other's nerves, it usually results in one of them getting punched."

* * *

 _Loki and Loni were asleep in their rooms, until the sound of rock music resonated so loud, both boys woke up screaming in surprise. Loki gets out of his bed, looking quite peeved, and goes across the hall to Luke and Lane's room._

 _Offscreen, Luke says, "Morning, bro!" There was punch sound, "OW!"_

 _Loki walks back out of the room, "That's for waking me up!"_

* * *

 _Lane was in Lars and Lynn's room, where he proceeded to knock on the goth's coffin, "Knock-knock!"_

 _From inside the coffin, Lars calls out, "Who's there?"_

 _"Ivan."_

 _"Ivan who?"_

 _Lane opens the coffin, causing Lars to hiss at the light entering. Lane was holding Lars bust of his fictional vampire crush, Griselda, and replied in a Transylvanian accent, "I van to suck your blood!"_

 _Lars grabs the bust and punches his older sibling, causing the jokester to rub his arm in pain, "That's for touching Griselda." Lars closes his coffin back._

 _Lane shrugged, "Sorry! Didn't mean to be_ a pain in the neck _!"_

 _Lars's arm reached out of his coffin and punched Lane's arm a second time, "That's for the pun."_

* * *

 _Lexx walks into his and Leif's room, gasping at the sight of Leif using one of the little prince's acting trophies to pick his own nose. Lexx quickly grabs the trophy and punches Leif in the arm, "That's for getting your boogers all over my trophy!"_

 _Leif responds by punching Lexx in the arm, "That's for punching me!"_

 _"MOM!" Lexx ran out of the room, "Leif hit me!"_

 _"TATTLETALE!"_

* * *

 _Levi was in his room working with chemicals when Lynn walks in. Levi acknowledges his older brother, "Greetings, fifth-eldest sibling. To what do I owe this unexpected intrusion?" Without warning, Lynn punches the four-year-old genius in the arm, causing him to yell in pain, "OUCH!" Levi grabs his arm, "What did_ I _do?"_

 _Lynn shrugged, "I don't know. I just felt like punching someone."_

* * *

Linka finishes, "See what I mean?"

Loki explained to Lynn, "Newsflash, dingus! _We're_ boys, and Linka is a _girl_!"

Luke pokes Lynn's check with his index finger, "You _never_ hit a girl!"

Lane points his thumb to Loni, who was standing behind the prankster, "Why do you think we never punch Loni?"

Loni cocked a brow, "Wait. I'm a girl?" Loni looks at his clothes and gasps, "Oh my gosh! I can't be seen in boy's clothes! I need to update my wardrobe!" He runs downstairs, "TO THE MALL!"

After a few seconds of silence as Loni rushed off, everyone brought their attention back to Lynn. Loki concludes, "Point is, DON'T! HIT! OUR! SISTER!" Loki places Lynn in front of Linka, "Now apologize!"

"OK, OK!" Lynn frowns, "Sorry for punching you, sis."

Linka waves her hand at Lynn, "It's fine. Sorry I popped your ball."

Lynn shrugs, "It's all good." He throws the popped ball over his shoulder, "I've got a bunch of those."

Lynn walks back into his room, leaving his other brothers to gather around Linka.

Loki walked over and picked Linka up bridal style, "There, there, sis. Everything's gonna be OK."

Luke asks, "Are you OK, baby sis?" He pulls up Linka's shirt sleeve to inspect where she was hit, "You're not bruising, are you?"

Leif offered, "I can get you an ice pack."

Lexx offered, "You want some water?"

Levi suggested, "I have some ointment in my room that can alleviate the pain."

Linka interrupted, "Guys, I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt." She pats the part of her arm that was hit, but then winced in pain, "Ow! Dang. Lynn really packs a wallop."

Lars popped up, scaring everyone, "I can leave a dead rat in Lynn's bed tonight if you want."

"Uh… thanks, but no thanks, Lars."

Loki got an idea, "I know what'll cheer you up!"

* * *

In the living room, Linka was relaxing on the couch, with Lane massaging her feet, Luke strumming his acoustic guitar in a soothing melody, Lars reading a copy of Princess Pony out loud to her, and Lexx holding a tea kettle, "More hot cocoa, big sis?"

Linka holds out her mug, "Yes, please!" After Lexx pours some cocoa into it, Linka tells her brothers, "You guys didn't have to do all this for me."

Loki shows up holding a basket of clean laundry, "After what Lynn did, you deserve it, sis." He reaches into the basket, "Oh, and remember when Loni accidently washed the polka dots from your favorite sweater?" He pulls out a sweater that was covered in different colored polka dots, "Levi managed to get them back in!"

Levi slyly explains, "Let's just leave it to the imagination how I managed that little feat."

Leif showed up holding a bag of trash, "And don't worry about your chores! We've already taken care of them!"

Linka explains, "But taking out the trash isn't my chore."

Leif shrugged, "I know. I just like taking it out."

Linka says to the viewer, "This is great! Who knew getting punched by Lynn would be the best thing to happen to me?"

Loni walked back into the house, dressed just like his female counterpart, "Hi, everyone! Look at the dress I found! Isn't it totes adorbs?!"

His siblings merely stared at the airhead, Luke asking, "Should we tell him?"

Lane replied, "Nah! I want to see how long we can _drag_ this out for. Hahaha! Get it?"

His siblings groaned at his joke.

* * *

The next morning, Linka walks into the kitchen and sees Lynn, "Hi, Lynn!"

"Hey, sis." He bites into a toaster pastry and tell Linka, "Sorry again about yesterday."

"It's OK." She opens the pantry and reaches for a box of toaster pastries. She opens the box, shocked to see it empty. She turns it upsides, making a few crumbs fall out. She scoffs, "LYNN!"

Lynn looks to his sister, taking another bite, "What?"

"You ate the last Toasty Tart, _and_ you put the box back in the pantry, even though it's empty!"

Lynn shrugged, "I put it back in so Mom knows to get more."

Linka rolls her eyes, "Whatever! Can you at least share half of it?"

"You know the old saying: You snooze, you lose." He throws the last bit of pastry into the air and catches it in his mouth.

As Linka marches away in anger, she stops and grins. Walking back to Lynn, she tells the jock, "And I know another old saying: Never hit a girl!"

Lynn scoffed, "For the last time, I'm sor…"

Lynn was cut off by Linka punching herself in the arm, causing her to cry out, "OW!"

At the sound of her cry, the other brothers rushed in and Loki asked, "What's going on in here?!"

Linka worked up some tears, which were half real from how hard she hit herself and lied, "I-I was coming into the kitchen to get a Toasty Tart, b-but Lynn was eating the last one; s-so I asked if we could split it and he-he-he HIT ME!"

Lynn was shocked and defended himself, "WHAT? No, I didn't! She punched herself!"

Luke glared at Lynn, "Not cool, dude! It's one thing to hit Linka, but to hit her and then lie about it?!"

Loki picked Lynn up by his shirt and then balled his hand into a fist, shaking it at the 13-year-old, "Oh, you are literally dead meat!"

Before Loki could throw a punch, Rita and Lynn Sr. walked into the room. Rita asks, "What's going on in here?" This caused Loki to quickly drop Lynn Jr.

Linka rushed over to Lynn Sr. and hugged her father's leg, still crying, "LYNN HIT ME!"

Lynn Sr. picked up Linka and wiped the tears from her eyes, "There, there, Princess. Daddy's here." Lynn Sr. hugged Linka, the young girl crying into her father's shoulder, "LYNN LOUD JR! Have you lost your mind?!"

Rita waved her index finger at Lynn Jr., "I know you boys like to punch one another, but that's no excuse to punch your little sister!"

"But, Mom…"

"No buts!" Rita points out the kitchen, "Now go to your room, young man!"

Lynn Jr stood there in shock for a second or two, and then made his way out the kitchen, cursing under his breath.

Rita asked Linka, "Are you OK, sweetie?"

Linka sniffled, "Yes, mommy."

Lynn Sr. asked, "Is there anything we can do for you, angel?"

Linka thought about it, "Well, he did eat the last Toasty Tart, so…"

Rita put up her right hand, "Say no more." She turns to her eldest sons, "Boys, can you run to store and get more tarts?"

Loki, Luke, and Lane saluted, "Yes, ma'am!"

Loni smiled, "Like, OK!"

As they rushed out the door, Lynn Sr. asked, "Was Loni wearing a dress?"

* * *

Half an hour later, Linka was at the table, eating one of the Toasty Tarts from one of the four boxes that she was given. Each was of a different flavor, of course.

Lynn walked into the dining room and asked, "What the heck, Linka?!"

Linka looks to Lynn, "What's up, Lynn?"

"Cut the crud, sis! Why did you lie about me hitting you?!"

Linka pointed her index and middle fingers up, "Two reasons. 1) Because after you hit me yesterday, everyone was waiting on me hand and foot. I'd be an idiot not to take advantage of that. And 2) Because you put an empty box back in the pantry."

"Well, thanks to you, I'm on thin ice! The guys told mom and dad about me hitting you yesterday, and they say if I do it one more time, I'll be grounded!"

Linka heard those words and smiled, "Well, I guess you better be careful, Lynn."

"Why, I oughta…" Linka brought up her fist, looking primed to hit. Above Lynn's head, an equation played out: Fist plus Linka equals Lynn behind a barred window. Lynn promptly switched gears and smiled, " _Hug_ my sweet, beautiful little sister!" He begrudgingly hugs Linka, and then walks away, still smiling.

The next day, Lynn walked into the house, sweaty and tired from his daily run through the neighborhood. As he approaches the bathroom to shower, but then Linka appears behind him, holding her bathrobe and loofah, "Hi, Lynn! You don't mind if I take my 30-minute bubble bath before you get in, right?"

"Oh, come on, sis! I was…" Linka brought up her fist, "Just going to say it's all yours!"

As Linka enters, Lane walks up to Lynn, pinching his nose to avoid the smell, "Hey, Lynn! I'd say smell ya later, but I don't want to! Hahaha!" This resulted in Lane being punched by Lynn.

The next day, Lynn gets his bike out of the garage and begins to ride off, until Linka walks out of the house and asks, "Hey, Lynn, could you give me a bike ride to Claire's?!"

"Come on, Linka! Can't you just…" He sees Linka preparing to punch herself, "Hop on my back pegs, sis! I'll take you there!"

Once in front of Claire's, Linka hops off, "See ya, Lynn!"

As Lynn pedals back the other way, Lexx pulls up in his soldier car, "Hey, Lynn! Still riding that primitive little machine, I see?" Lynn responded by punching Lexx. Lexx then motored off, "MOM! LYNN HIT ME!"

"TATTLETALE!"

The next day, Lynn is watching a baseball game on TV, "Alright. Bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and Ramirez is up to bat! If he hits this, they win the game!"

Linka shows up, "Hey, Lynn! The season finale of The Dream Boat is about to start. Could I have the TV?"

Lynn begs, "Please, Linka! I'm about to witness history here! Can't you just…" Linka readies herself for the punch, and he stands up from the couch, "Make yourself comfy, sis!" He hands Linka the remote, "It's all yours."

Lynn walks out of the living room and climbs up the stairs. He hears the sound of baseball coming from Loki's room. He sees Loki watching the game on his phone, "Homerun!" Loki notices Lynn, "Man, I feel sorry for anyone who missed this game! Right, Lynn?" Lynn howls in anger, punching the wall outside of the room. As he marches off, Loki says to himself, "He literally needs anger management."

* * *

Lynn was in his room, punching away at his punching bag. He huffs and puffs, a look of frustration plastered on his face. Amongst the noise, Lars pokes out of his coffin and asks, "What's wrong with you?"

Lynn sighs, "I'd tell you, but you wouldn't believe me."

"Lynn, I talk to ghosts, cast spells, and believe that vampires are real. Just try me."

"Fine. I'm mad because ever since Linka punched herself and blamed me, she keeps threatening to do it again if I don't give in to her demands."

Lars was silent for a few seconds, but finally spoke up, "You're right. I don't believe you." He lies down and closes the lid to his coffin.

Lynn's expression grew more furious, and he punches his bag again, sending it flying out of his room. He goes to retrieve it and runs into Loni, who looked like he just painted his finger nails and toe nails, "Hey, Lynn! Like, are you OK? You seem stressed."

Lynn picks up his punching bag and throws it back into his room, "I am! Ever since…" Lynn notices Loni's nails, "Dude, did you paint your nails?"

"Uh-huh! Seafoam green!" He flutters his eyes, which now had false eyelashes, "Matches my eyes, don't you think?"

Lynn was furious and shouted at his older brother, "Dude, will you cut it out?! Lane was just messing with you! You're not a girl!"

Loni crosses his arms, "Oh, yeah? Prove it." Lynn responded by kicking Loni in the crotch, making the blonde's eyes almost pop out of his head. As Lynn pulls his foot away, Loni grabs himself, saying in a high-pitched voice, "Owie." He then fell to the ground in pain.

Loki comes across his younger brothers and asked, "What's up with Loni?"

Lynn shrugged, "I kicked him to prove he was a guy."

Loki glared, "Seriously?!" He grabs Lynn by his shirt and pulls the jock in close, "Lynn, there are literally two rules in this house: Never hit Linka, and never kick each other in the groin!"

Loni stands up, still holding himself, "Well, guess I'm off to the mall for boy's clothes." He winces in pain as he walks.

Lane pops up and tells Loni, "If you still _are_ a boy."

Lane laughs, making Loni reply, "Not funny, Lane! Ow-how!"

Lynn calls out, "Sorry, Loni!" Inspiration then hit Lynn, "Sorry I didn't think of this sooner."

* * *

An hour later, Lynn walks up to Linka, who was rewatching The Dream Boat season finale. "Hey, sis! Whatcha doing?"

"Just rewatching the season finale. I had to go to the bathroom, and I missed who Carolynn picked."

"That's a shame." He grins, "You know what else is a shame?"

"What?"

"That you'll have to miss it again."

Linka suspiciously looks at Lynn, "Why?"

"Because of this!" Lynn grabbed his crotch and pretended to be in pain, falling to the floor, "OW!"

At the sound of Lynn screaming, the entire family rushed in, Lynn Sr. asking, "What's going on?! Lynn, did you hit your sister again?"

Lynn looks up at his Dad, "Oh, yeah, Dad. That's why I'm down here. I mean…" He pretends to be hurt again, making his voice high-pitched, "I was coming to ask Linka if I could have the TV, but she said no! I begged her, and she kicked me!"

"WHAT?!" Linka stood up, "No, I didn't! He did it to himself!"

Rita questioned this, "Linka, you expect us to believe your brother kicked himself in the groin?"

Linka hesitated, "Uuuuh…"

Lynn Sr. scolded, "I know that Lynn Jr. hit you a few days ago, but that's no excuse to kick him in his tender area!" He points up the stairs, "Now go to your room!"

As she passed by everyone, Leif shook his head, "That's low, sis."

As she takes the first step, she turns around, "But…"

Rita cut her off, "End of discussion, young lady!"

Lynn grinned, knowing his plan had worked.

An hour later, Lynn was watching the highlights from the baseball game when Linka entered the room, "I know what you're doing!"

Lynn shrugged, "What am I doing?"

"You lied about me kicking you, just so you could get the TV!"

"Oh, you mean like how you pretended to get hit so I would do whatever you wanted?"

Linka growled and then glared at her older sibling, "This isn't over, Lynn!"

Lynn glared back, "You're right. It's just the beginning."

The following days, Lynn and Linka kept pretending to get hurt by one another. Lynn got mad when Linka finished off the rest of the cereal, so he pretended to get kicked in order to get the bowl, only for Linka to punch herself. Their parents enter the room but were split on whose side to take. The next day, Linka was in her room, dancing to boy band music when Lynn came in to ask her to turn it down. She pretended to get hit, only for Lynn to pretended she kicked him again. Their siblings saw this and looked quite confused about the situation. Finally, Linka and Lynn were ironically fighting over the last Toasty Tart, both grabbing it and trying to pull it away from one another. They both dropped it and proceeded to fake getting hit or kicked, respectively.

The family came in, seeing the situation. Lynn Sr. rubs his chin, "Something funny's going on around here."

The next day, Lynn and Linka came out of their rooms, glaring at each other. Lynn told Linka, "It's Sunday. The Tigers are playing against the Orioles tonight."

Linka responded, "Well, there's a rerun of the season finale of Dream Boat, and I'm not missing it again."

"Well, _I'm_ not missing my game!"

Both of them rush downstairs, pushing and shoving on their way down. They both grab the remote and fight over it. After a couple seconds, they both yell out in pain, faking their respective injuries.

The family comes into the room, looking at Linka and Lynn with unimpressed eyes. Before Linka and Lynn could say their usual excuse, Lynn Sr. cuts them off, "Let me guess. Lynn Jr., Linka kicked you, and Linka, Lynn Jr. punched you?"

Both were silent after that, but then answered, "Yes?"

Rita grabs the remote from them, "You mean, just like the _other_ times you both hit each other?!" She turned on the TV, which was showing a montage of videos of Linka and Lynn Jr. faking getting hit by each other.

Lynn Jr. and Linka stood up, looking quite shocked, "What the?!"

Levi explained, "You can thank the cameras I installed for this."

Lane added, "There's comedy gold happening all the time around here, so I convinced Levi to install some all over the house!"

Linka asked, looking a bit disturbed, "Even in the bathroom?"

Levi hesitated, "Nooooo." He nervously smiles, his eyes darting back and forth.

Rita crossed her arms, "I can't believe you kids! Hitting each other is one thing, but lying?"

Linka and Lynn Jr. stammered, trying to defend their side, until Lynn Sr. shouted, "Enough! You both march up to your rooms! Your mother and I will be up there to punish you both later."

Both made their way upstairs, their siblings shaking their heads in a disapproving manner.

* * *

An hour later, Linka was lying on her bed, looking at the ceiling. She held Bun-Bun close to her chest, a scowl on her face. There was a knock on her door, "Who is it?"

Lynn entered, "Hey, sis."

Linka sat up, "What do you want?"

Lynn sat on the bed and told Linka, "I just wanted to say… I'm sorry."

Linka scoffed, "No, it's not! This is all your faul…" She stopped when she realized what he actually said, "Say what?"

"I'm sorry, OK." He sighs, "I shouldn't have pretended you were kicking me in the groin. That was wrong, and I really am sorry."

Linka sighed, looking just as guilty as her brother, "No, Lynn. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pretended you hit me in the first place."

"Well, why did you?"

"After you did it the first time, everyone pampered me the whole day, and it was kind of nice." She shrugged, "I just wanted to have that feeling again, but I went about it the wrong way. Now we're both grounded because of me."

Lynn added, "Well, I didn't exactly help." Lynn huffed, "Look, we both know I'm not used to the whole apology thing. What do we do next?"

Linka smiled, "This." She hugs Lynn, who hugged back. As they broke the hug, Linka asked, "But, maybe you could cut back on the punching a bit? Lexx's arm has got a pretty big bruise because of it."

Lynn nodded, "Sure thing, sis. And, hey! There is _one_ thing I can do that won't hurt anyone."

"What's that?"

Lynn pulls Linka's cover over their heads and proceeds to fart, "DUTCH OVEN!"

Linka pops her head out, coughing and gagging. She tells the viewer, "Well, it beats getting hit!"


	2. Debt by Chocolate

**Welcome back! This story was inspired by both "Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru" and chapter 4 of Smoking Wrecker's "Linka and her Brothers" story. If you're reading this, thank you for the inspiration, and hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Inside the Loud House, all was quiet. The door slowly creaks open, and from outside came Lynn's head. He looks around and Lane's head pops in from above, "Is the coast clear?

"I think so." Lynn and Lane walk in, holding their backpacks close to their chests. Lynn quietly closes the door and heads for the stairs, "Let's go."

As they slowly tiptoe up the stairs, carefully not to make the steps creak. Once at the top, they look up and down the hall, with Lynn looking right and Lane looking left, and then vice versa. After making sure no one was around, Lane tells Lynn, "Almost there."

Lynn turns to his big brother, using his thumb to point to his and Lars's bedroom, "Once we're inside our rooms, we're home free."

"Free from what?" Lane and Lynn jump as Lars appears behind them. Their backpacks fall to the ground, dumping what appears to be boxes with chocolate bars inside them. Lars says in his usual deadpan tone, "Gasp! Is that chocolate? Are you both insane?!"

Luke walks out of his room, "What's with all the screaming, dudes?" He gasps, "Is that chocolate? Are you both insane?!"

Loki and Loni come out of their room, "What's all the screaming a..." He stops and both boys shout in unison, "IS THAT CHOCOLATE?! ARE YOU BOTH INSANE?!"

As the other Loud's shouted, Lynn and Lane quickly shoveled the bars back into the backpacks, shoving everyone into the bathroom. Lynn shushes them, "Keep quiet, guys!"

Lane asked, "Do you want…" His eyes shift back and forth and he whispers, "the chocolate monster to hear us?"

Loni screams, "THERE'S A CHOCOLATE MONSTER?!" He jumps up into the bathtub and closes the curtain, "SOMEONE SAVE US!"

Lynn sighs, "We're talking about Linka, you idiot."

Lane explains, "If she knows we have this stuff, we'll be in a choc-a-lotta trouble!" He laughs, "Get it? But seriously, she can't know about this."

Loki reassures his younger brothers, "Relax. She's not home yet."

Lynn and Lane sigh, "Good."

Luke asked, "Why do you guys have that stuff anyway?"

Lynn answers, "It's part of a fundraiser for school."

"We have to sell it to people." Lane shrugs, "We tried to get out of it because of our sister, but no luck."

The door swung open, showing their sister, "Tried to get out of what?"

The brothers quickly hid the backpacks behind themselves, "Nothing!"

Loni opened the curtain and said, "I thought you tried to get out of selling chocolate."

All the teen bros and Lars facepalmed themselves, annoyed by Loni spilling beans. Linka smiles, "YOU GUYS HAVE CHOCOLATE?!"

Despite their protests that there wasn't any, Loni said, "I thought you guys had chocolate in your…"

Lynn covers Loni's mouth, "Nowhere!" They all gasp as they realize that the bag behind Lynn had tipped over and spilled out chocolate.

Linka glared, "You guys do have chocolate! Why didn't you tell me?"

Lynn told her, "Duh. Because we know you, Linka."

Loki crossed his arms and bluntly explained, "You're literally a Chocoholic, sis."

Luke told her, "You go crazy around the stuff."

Linka scoffed, "So I like chocolate; when has that ever been a bad thing?"

* * *

 _On Valentine's Day, Loki shows a giant heart-shaped box to Bebe, "Happy V-Day, babe!"_

 _Bebe opens the box and sees no chocolate. Linka walks up, holding pieces of chocolate, "Hey, Bebe!" She pops a piece into her mouth, "You would've loved these."_

 _Loki growls, his eye twitching._

* * *

 _On Halloween, Lars, Leif, Lexx, and Levi are in Levi's room, dressed as a vampire, a dog and a cat, and a Martian, respectively. As they sort their candy, the lights go out, making them shouting, excluding Lars. As the lights come back on, Lexx notices, "Hey! Where's all our chocolate?"_

 _In her room, Linka is lying on a hug pile of chocolate candy, munching on a chocolate bar._

* * *

 _In the kitchen, Lane pours some milk into a glass. He grabs the glass, walking into the dining room. He sits down and gasps at the empty plate before him, "Hey! Where's my cake?!" He looks over to Linka, "Hey, Linka! Did you see…" He abruptly stops talking, squinting at his sister._

 _Linka was chocolate frosting around her mouth, her cheeks full of what appeared to be Lane's cake, "What?"_

 _Lane shook his head, "Never mind. I can see your mouth is Choco full of cake." He laughs, "Get it? But seriously, I'm not happy."_

* * *

Linka shrugs, "OK, so maybe I have a small problem with chocolate." She brings her thumb and index finger together to emphasis the 'small'.

Loki scoffed, "That's putting it mildly."

Linka begs, "Come on, guys. Can't you spare just _one_ little chocolate bar? For your baby sister?"

"Sure!" Lane smiled, but then frowned and told her, "For $2."

Linka asked, "What?"

Lynn explained, "This isn't for us to eat, Linka. It's for us to sell for school."

Linka frowned, "Dang it." She starts to walk off, "I'm going to dig in the couch for money."

Lane places his hand on her shoulder to stop her, "Or… If you can promise to stay away from our chocolate, we'll give you something better."

Linka asked, "What could possibly be better than chocolate?"

"How about… more chocolate?"

Linka stays suspiciously quiet for a few seconds before she answers, "…Go on."

"Whoever sells 10 boxes of chocolate gets a Grand Prize," Lynn pulls out a catalogue and shows what appears to be some kind of chocolate-themed restaurant, "A free evening at Koko's Chocotorium!"

Linka gasped, her eyes sparkling, "Koko's Chocotorium?! The greatest chocolate eatery in the entire world!?" She smiles widely, "Why didn't you say so earlier?!"

Lane asks, "What do you say, Linka? You stay away from our chocolate, and we take you as our guest when we win the prize?"

Linka extends her hand, "Deal!" She shakes Lynn's hand, and then Lane's.

As they all walk off, Loni closes the curtain, "You guys go ahead. I'll stay in here in case the monster shows up."

In Levi's room, Lynn and Lane place all their chocolate into what appeared to be a safe underneath the carpet. Lane thanks the genius brother, "Thanks again, Levi. This will surely keep our chocolate safe from out sister." He laughs, "Get it?"

Lynn asks, "Are you sure this'll keep Linka from getting to our chocolate?"

"Not to worry, siblings." Levi closes the safe and punches in a code, locking it up tightly, "Thanks to the foolproof password I put in place, there is no way that our middle sibling will be able to pilfer your fundraiser confectioneries." Levi pulls out a remote, "But just in case, I have this remote, which will activate a laser security system that will, upon being touched, trigger an alarm that will wake us up in case of intrusion."

Linka sees this and asks, "Seriously, guys? Don't you think this a bit extreme?" The three of them simply look at Linka, cocking their eyebrows at her. This prompts her to reevaluate and reply, "Never mind. I see your point."

* * *

A couple of days later, Lynn and Lane return home, each holding five boxes in their hands. Lynn chuckles, "Man, we've got this selling stuff down!"

Lane nods, "You said it! I managed to get rid of half of my boxes in one go!"

"How?"

"Sold them to someone I have booked for my party business. They bought five boxes, and I get to use the chocolate to make pies."

Lynn grins as they both place their boxes on the table, "Genius!"

Linka walks in, "Hey, guys!" She whistles at how many boxes her brothers had left, "Looks like the selling's going well."

Lane jokes, "Yep. Once we sell the last five boxes, we'll be able to sell-ebrate. Hahahaha! Get it?"

Lynn comments, "By the way, nice job keeping your cool around our chocolate, Linka."

Lane jokes once more, "We co-couldn't be prouder. Hahahaha! Get it?"

Linka shrugs, "No big deal. It's been hard fighting the urges, but then I remember I'm doing it for Koko's Chocotorium."

Lynn cheers her on, "That's the chocolate!"

Linka gasped at his words and asked, "What did you say?"

Lynn repeated, "I said that's the spirit."

"Oh!" She chuckles nervously, "That's what I thought you said." She walks into the living room and asks herself, "What was that about?" She sees Loki and waves, "Hey, Loki. What's up?"

As Linka sits on the couch, her oldest brother replies, "Just watching some MMA." He points to the TV, "That move is called a chocolate bar."

Linka asks, "Come again?"

"I said it's called an arm bar."

"Oh. Right." She chuckles, and then gulps.

Leif comes in with some mud pies and asks Linka, "Hey, sis! Check out my chocolate pies!"

"What pies?"

"Mud. Duh!"

Linka starts to sweat, so she gets off the couch and heads upstairs, "I'm just gonna go upstairs now!"

Upstairs, she runs into Loni, who was holding two different colored fabrics, one of which looked like a giant candy bar, "Linka! Which do you think would look better for a new suit: Spring green or chocolate brown?"

Linka gulps.

Lexx appears holding a script, which looked like a giant chocolate square, "Hey, Linka! Could you help me go over my lines? I'm auditioning to be in a chocolate commercial."

Levi asks, "I'm creating tracking devices for our household pets. Has anyone seen my chocolate chips?"

Luke appears with his electric guitar, "Sup, sibs! Anyone up for some tasty chocolate?!" He then strums his guitar, his pick looking like a small piece of chocolate.

Before she knew it, everyone word was sounding like 'chocolate'. Linka screams, running for her room and slamming the door.

Her brothers stare at her behavior, looking quite confused, Levi commenting, "I guess she hasn't seen my microchips."

Linka huffs and puffs as she punches the dials on her lip phone. As it rings, she begs, "Pick up, pick up, PICK UP!"

On the other line, Claire answers, "Hey, Linka!"

Claire, it's an emergency! We've got a Code Loco Cocoa on our hands!"

Claire gasps, "Oh, boy. I always knew this day would come."

"Mama needs chocolate, and she needs it bad! You've gotta help me!"

"Sorry, girl. I wish I would help, but I have to cut Cleopawtra's nails tonight, and it's not going to be pretty."

"Dang it." She hangs up the phone and remembers, "My emergency stash!" She reaches under her bed and pulls out a small jewelry box, which had a piece of tape on the lid that read "For Emergencies Only".

She opens the box, only to find a letter instead of chocolate. She reads it, "Dear Linka, I owe you one bar of chocolate. Love, Linka."

"Dang it!" She balls up the paper and throws it over her shoulder, "Keep it together, Linka. Maybe it's not as bad as you think."

She hears a knock on the door and hears her Mom call, "Linka! Time for chocolate!"

She gasps loudly, "WHAT?!"

"I said time for dinner!"

"I'm not hungry! I'm going to bed early tonight!" She turns off her light and shuffles into bed.

"O…K."

Linka closes her eyes, "All I need is a good night's sleep. Can't think of chocolate while I'm asleep!" She looks worried, "Right?"

* * *

Later than night, Linka is asleep in her bed, tossing and turning, a huge smile on her face, "Mmmmmm… Chocolate…"

In her dream, Linka is standing in a world where everything was made out of chocolate. She walks down a pathway that looked like a brick path, only with chocolate squares in place of bricks. She sees a Stop sign and takes a huge bite out of the side. She then runs to a house and breaks off the door handle and eats it.

She says to herself, "Oh, no! How will I get inside now?" She moves her eyebrows up and down, signaling that she was being coy, and proceeded to chew right through the door.

She walks inside and chews her way through the opposite wall, holding a TV and steadily chewing upon it. She tosses the TV aside and runs towards a fondue fountain, which she dives into and swims around in the chocolate, putting her head under one of the waterfalls and drinking it. She sees giant marshmallows beside the fountain. She hops out and stuffs her hands into two marshmallows, looking like she had two pillows on her fists. She dunks said marshmallows in the chocolate fountain and devours them with ease. She rushes over to a field full of chocolate bunnies hopping around, pooping out teardrop-shaped chocolates.

A bunny jumps into her arms, which she starts to pet, "Oooooh! You're almost too cute to eat!" She breaks off its head, "Well, almost." She tosses the head into her mouth and chews.

After that, it starts to rain chocolate milk. She sticks out her tongue, tasting the rain drops, licking her lips after, "Mmmmmm! Chocolate rain!"

She picks up a chocolate stick and stabs it into a giant peanut butter cup, using it like an umbrella. She walks out of the rain and proceeds to eat the peanut butter cup. Her eyes light up as she sees a line of floating malted milk balls. Her head pops off of her body and floats to the milk balls, a side view of her head showing Linka eating the line as she says over and over, "Waka-waka-waka-waka!" At the end of the line, the head pops back onto her body.

She goes to a tree and chews through it like a beaver. As it falls, she shouts, "TIMBER!" After it lands on the ground, she runs over and chomps down the tree. She sits beside a giant statue of her made out of chocolate. She lies down on her back and rubs her chocolate filled belly, sighing, "How could this get any better?"

She looks over to a pond full of chocolate bars and smiles, "Alright!" She runs over to it and starts shoveling them into her mouth by the handful.

* * *

The next morning, Linka wakes up and sees Lane, Lynn, and Levi standing over her, glaring at her, "Morning, guys! I had the weirdest dream! I was in a land of chocolate and eating everything in sight and-and I was sleepwalking and I ate your chocolate, didn't I?"

They nod, "Yes!"

She looks over to the safe and sees that the door was ripped off and tossed aside. Levi scolded, "I can understand disabling the lasers, but did you have to rip off the door like a savage animal?!"

Feeling quite guilty, she apologizes, "Lynn, Lane, I'm so sorry!"

Lynn sighed, "It's not your fault, sis. You were sleepwalking."

Lane joked, "We wouldn't dream of staying mad at you. Hahahaha! Get it? But seriously, this is bad!"

Lynn panicked, "We're so dead!"

Linka told them, "Don't worry, guys! We can fix this! I'm sure we can get the money to pay for all of this."

"I'm not so sure." Levi calculates, "Since you ate 10 boxes of chocolate, which has 20 bars a piece priced at $2 each, that places your current debt at… $400 American."

All three of them shouted, "WHAT?!"

Linka screeched, "I don't have that kind of money!"

Lynn shrugs, "None of us do!"

Lane sighs, "Well, guess we're up chocolate creek without a Pretzel stick."

Lynn frowns, "Guess we'll have to tell the principal what happened."

"NO!" Linka stomped her foot, "We can't give up, you guys! We'll make that money back or die trying!"

Lynn thinks, "Die, eh?" He grins, "That gives me an idea."

Linka bluntly told him, "We're not faking our deaths and using the life insurance money, Lynn. That's fraud… which is illegal."

"It's only illegal if you get caught!"

Linka, Levi, and Lane all facepalm at the jock's suggestion.

The next day, the Loud Siblings begin to count what little money they could scrounge up. Lane counts the last coin, "And… 57. That makes $33.57."

Lynn sulks, "We're doomed!"

"No, we're not!" Linka encourages, "We can't give up! We're Loud's, and a Loud doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit'! We've just got to be creative! With all three of our heads, we can think of a way to make money!"

The three of them start to think, and Lynn almost instantly snaps his fingers, "I've got it!"

Linka tells him, "We are not robbing a bank!"

Lynn could only frown at this.

After this, a montage of ways that they would try to get money begins. Linka is shown to have set up a what appears to be a wooden stand that has a 'Boy Advice' sign on it. She has a line of girls already lines up, clamoring for her advice. Lynn takes what little of his own money that he has and bet it on games of basketball against other people. Lane went into town and began to perform street magic for people passing by, who were putting money into a top hat that he had beside him.

However, their success was short lived. While Linka had made a lot of money giving advice, she is soon bombarded with disgruntled customers, all of whom seemed to have used advice that would seemingly work on boys like her brothers, but not normal ones.

Lynn was counting major buckets and was confident in his next challenge. However, he was soon standing in the shadow of a black teenager who had a good 1 to 2 feet on the young boy. He gulps loudly at this. After the last basket of the game is made, the teenager had taken Lynn's money, making the jock say, "Great. I lost the money and I lost a game!" He sighs, "I hope Lane is having more luck than me."

After Lane performs a trick that made a random man sneeze out a handkerchief, the audience applauds him. He takes the top hat, which was overflowing with money and walks off. However, he is stopped by a gang of street performers, all of whom looked positively mad. Lane, realizing that he had taken their business, runs the opposite way, the other performers giving chase.

Back at home, the three of them sit at the kitchen table as Lane counts the money once more, And… 16! That's $16!"

Linka points out, "Wait. Doesn't that mean we lost $17.57?"

Lynn slams his head on the table, "We're doomed."

Linka started to sweat, "No worries, guys! We can think of another way! I'm sure of it!" Lynn lifts up his head to speak, but Linka cuts him off, "If it has anything to do with a metal detector, a treasure hunt, or robbing a convenience store, I don't want to hear it."

Lynn glares, "I was going to say 'what's the point'? We're dead meat."

Lane stands up, "We're never going to raise the money, not at the rate we're going."

As the two of them walk away, Linka calls out, "Guys!" She rushes after her brothers. As she reaches the top of the stairs, she sees them going into the rooms, "I'm…" They both slam the doors shut, causing Linka to frown, "Sorry." Linka sulks back to her room, but rather than enter, she rests her back against the door and slinks to the ground. She brings her knees to her chest, holding them in place by wrapping her arms around them.

Rita comes upstairs and asks, "What's going on? I heard slamming doors." Rita sees her only daughter and asks, "What's the matter, sweetie?"

Linka sighs, "I messed things up, Mom." She stands up and walks over to Rita, "You know how Lynn and Lane had to sell chocolate for school?"

Rita nods, "Yes, and I'm very proud of you for fighting off your little… chocolate problem."

Linka shakes her head, "That's just it. I ate all of Lynn and Lane's chocolates that they were selling while I was sleepwalking, and now they're out $400 dollars."

Rita took a sharp breath, "Oh, sweetie…"

Linka shook her head, "I know, I know; they promised me that if I didn't eat any of their chocolate, they'd shared the grand prize with me. I was going crazy! Everything I heard or saw was chocolate, I was dreaming about it, and I'm pretty sure I was seeing brown spots all over my skin." She crosses her arms, finally coming to a realization, "The guys were right. I do have a problem with chocolate, and now it's going to get my big brothers in trouble."

Rita kneels down, placing a hand on Linka's shoulder, "Well, maybe you kids can raise the money another way."

"We tried, but we just ended up with less money than when we started." Linka sniffles, "It's all my fault."

Rita shrugs, "Well, I'm not going to say it isn't, but I will say it's not all your fault."

"Huh?"

"Lynn and Lane know what a problem you have with chocolate, and they tried to make you quite cold turkey."

Loni walks by, "I thought they tried to make her quit chocolate?"

Rita tells her second-oldest, "Not a good time, Loni." Once he walks away, Rita continues, "But, you do have a problem with that stuff, so tell you what: Why don't we work on just cutting back and eating it in moderation?"

Linka smiles, "Sounds like a plan." She sulks once more, "I only wish I had a plan to fix all of this."

Lane walks out of his room, "Well, guess I won't need all those pies anymore."

Linka asks, "What are you talking about, Lane?"

"You know the parents I sold all that chocolate to? The ones who hired me to make chocolate pies for a party?" He sighs, "Birthday boy decided he wanted to go to Dairyland instead. Now I've got 50 chocolate pies that are going to go to waste."

Linka then got a bright idea, "Lane, YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

Lane asks, cocking an eyebrow, "I am?"

The next day, Linka, Lane, and Lynn had set up a pie throwing stand, with Linka's head poking out of it. Lane calls out through a paper megaphone, "Step right up! Don't be shy! Throw a pie at my little sister! Just $10!"

Lynn scoffs, "This is crazy. Who's going to spend 10 bucks to throw a pie?"

Linka smirked, "You'll see."

"Hey!" The group from yesterday that Linka gave advice to showed up, "That's the girl who gave us all bad advice!"

Linka smiles, "That's me!"

One of the girls pulls out a 10-dollar bill and hands it to Lane, "It's worth every penny!" After her, more and more girls started to pay and throw pies at Linka.

As the pies were thrown, Linka merely smiled on, continuously licking up what little chocolate she could get off her face, "I could get used to this!"

The next day, Linka was sitting in her bedroom and tells the viewer, "Well, that takes care of everything! My brothers were able to get the money back, I learned a valuable lesson, and I got hit in the face with chocolate pies! All's well that ends well!"

Lane and Lynn barge into the room, Lynn tells Linka, "Hey, sis! Lane and I were thinking."

"We know you didn't keep up your end of the deal, but after that bright idea of yours, we've decided you've earned this." Lane pulls out his and Lynn's tickets to Koko's, "Care to join us at Koko's Chocotorium?"

Linka smiles at first, but then frowns and shakes her head, "No, thank you! I don't want to hear the word 'chocolate' for a long, _long_ time!"

Linka and her brothers laugh at her words.


	3. Broyal Rumble

In the Loud House, the TV showed a wrestling match going on. As two men wrestle, an announcer calls out, "And welcome back, wrestling fans! The World Heavyweight Championship match between John Cena and The Miz is underway!"

The Loud bros were all watching, wearing wrestling t-shirts of the respective wrestler they were rooting for and surrounded by a multitude of junk food.

Loni, Luke, Lars, Leif and Levi all screamed, "GO, CENA!"

Loki, Lane, Lynn, and Lexx all shouted, "TAKE HIM DOWN, MIZ!"

Amongst all the shouting and merrymaking, the only sister of the family, Linka, was by the stairs and shaking her head, "Yep. It's that time again." She explains to the viewer, "Around this time of year, my brothers watch nothing but wrestling, so they can get psyched to watch…" She thinks, "What's it called again?"

The TV announcer spoke, almost like he was answering Linka, "Whoever wins this will go on to defend the title against Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania, in Detroit, Michigan!"

Linka finishes, "Yeah, that's it."

Luke cheered, "Dude! I can't wait! Wrestlemania is gonna be _sick_!"

Loki scoffed, "Yeah, except they're just going to have the match be Reigns and Cena for the umpteenth time."

Lynn replied, "Yeah, right! Do you really think they'd do _that_ again? Give them some credit, man."

Leif chuckles, "Hey, as long as I get to see some violence, I'm happy."

As some violence happened on the TV, the bros winced, "Ooooooh!"

Lane joked, "Speaking of violence…"

The boys all cheered and shouted, which made Linka cover her ears and wince, "Yeesh! Do they have to be so loud?!"

Lane had heard Linka and said, "Well, it _is_ our last name! Hahahahaha! Get it?"

Linka stomped over to the boys and asked, "Seriously, why do you guys obsess over this? Wrestling is so stupid!"

The boys all gasped in horror, almost like they were offended by her statement. Loki and Loni even covered Leif's and Lexx's ears, respectively.

Lynn glared, "Wrestling, stupid?"

Loki told the middle Loud, "Wrestling is literally one of the greatest entertainment spectacles of our time!"

Linka rolled her eyes, "Oh, yeah. Two big, dumb brutes wailing on each other. Such entertainment."

Lexx scoffed, "Linka, wrestling is more than just two guys beating one another. It's theater. It mixes sports with drama and stories about betrayal, family, comebacks, heel-turns and…" He looks to the screen and yells, "RIP HIS HEAD OFF!"

Linka looks to Loni, "Well, I get Lexx's obsession, but you, Loni?"

Loni shrugs, "Oh, I don't like the violence." He smiles, "I just really like the costumes!"

Lars told Linka, "Maybe you don't understand, but we do."

Linka sighed and walked away, making her way into the dining room, where she saw her parents sitting down and watching the match from a distance, "Mom, Dad? What are you doing?"

Lynn Sr. explained, "Hey, the boys aren't the only ones who like some good old fashioned rasslin'!"

Linka asked, "Then why aren't you in the living room?"

Rita told her, "We've decided it's safer to watch over here. You know how your brothers can be."

Lynn Sr. added, "I get dog piled on a regular basis. I don't want to add headlocks into that equation.

Linka bluntly told them, "You could just tell them not to act like maniacs."

Rita shook her head, "We've tried. It doesn't work."

Lynn Sr. excused them, "Boys will be boys, sweetheart. Just let them have their fun."

Linka looks over and sees the boys all looking like they were having a good time. She smiles, "Well, I guess they do look happy, and it's only until after next weekend."

Rita praised, "That's the spirit!"

After that, they heard the boys fighting, and they all start play wrestling with one another, which starts to get progressively rougher.

Linka warns the viewer, "If they _make it_ to next weekend!"

* * *

The next day, Linka was outside getting the mail. As she walks to the door, she shuffles through the mail and notices something for her, "Huh?" She sees that it was from the WWE, and cocks an eyebrow, "What the heck?"

Once inside, she used a letter opener and removes a folded-up letter. She unfolds said letter and reads, "Dear Linka Loud," She mutters as she reads until she reads out loud, "Have won two tickets to Wrestlemania?!" She calls out, "Hey, guys!"

All of her brothers arrive downstairs, Loki asking, "What's up, sis?"

Linka answers, "What's up is," She pulls out two tickets from the envelope, "I've got two tickets to Wrestlemania for some reason!"

The boys all gasped, their eyes shining brightly at the sight of those tickets. Lynn smiles, "NO WAY! Linka, you won the contest!"

"Contest?"

Levi explained, "Yes. You will recall just 2 months prior, at the Royal Woods Mall…"

* * *

 _At the mall, there was a kiosk that was setup that promoted a contest to win two tickets to Wrestlemania._

 _The Loud Bros were all signing a card for a chance to win. Loki grinned, "Man, this is literally the best contest ever!"_

 _Lynn smiled, "Just think! One of us will win tickets to Wrestlemania!"_

 _Levi calculated, "Well, taking into account that population of Royal Woods, I'd say we only have about a 1-in-50,000 chance of winning, and that's being generous. Then again, with 9 of us entering, it rounds our chances up to a 1-in-5,555 chance. Of course, there is one way to make it 1-in-5000."_

 _In a nearby jewelry store, the boys were standing behind Linka, who was looking for some new earrings. As she looks in the mirror to compare different kinds, she tells them, "No!"_

 _Luke begged, "Come on, sis! Don't be cruel!"_

 _Leif told her, "If you enter, we have even more of a chance to win the tickets!"_

 _Linka asks as she puts on a new pair to see how they look, "You mean the two tickets that one of you will win?"_

 _Loki warned, "Don't spoil our good mood, sis!"_

 _Linka scoffed, "Seriously, guys! You know I don't like wrestling! Why should I have to enter some stupid contest?"_

 _Loni told her, "Because you're our sister, and you love us."_

 _Lexx told her, "And because if you don't," He sniffles and speaks in a sad voice, giving her his famous puppy dog eyes, "You'll hurt our feelings."_

 _As all of her brothers followed Lexx's lead, Linka frowns and begs, "Oh, come on! Not the puppy dog eyes! That's my thing!" After a few seconds, and Lexx even working in a tear and a whimper, she breaks down, "Oh, alright!"_

 _The boys all stopped their act and cheered. She walks towards the exit, "I'll go sign up." As she walked out, a siren went off, and she hustled back inside. She smiled nervously, "Right after I pay for these earrings!"_

* * *

Linka frowns, "Oh. I guess I forgot."

Leif grinned, "Sweet! We actually won!"

Loki asked, "Now, the only question is… who gets the tickets?"

They all look to Linka, and see says, "Huh. Well, you all do want them, but I'm not sure who to give them to."

Loki told her, "Well, _I_ should get one of them, since I'm the oldest!"

Lynn added, "Yeah, but it was _my_ idea to sign up!"

Lexx shouted, "Nuh-uh! It was my idea!"

Leif shouted to his twin, "Liar! It was mine!"

This caused a fight to break out among the boys, to which Linka told them, "Guys! STOP IT!" As the fighting stopped, she told them, "Look, Wrestlemania isn't until Sunday, right?"

"Right!"

Linka told them, "So, there's no reason for me to decide right now, right?"

"Right!"

Linka smiled, "Tell you what! Give me until Sunday to think it over, and I'll make my decision then!"

The boys think it over and all speak in agreement, and Loki tells her, "Alright, Linka. We'll give you until Sunday, and not a day sooner."

Linka extends her hand, "Deal!" All of the boys, excluding Loni and Lexx, all spat in their hands and extend them towards Linka. She pulls her hand away, "EW!"

* * *

The next morning, Linka was snoring away until she heard a knock at the door. She stirs awake as Lexx walks in, carrying a bed tray with him. The tray had an aluminum lid in the center, a glass of orange juice and a single flower in a vase.

"Good morning, Linka!"

Linka sits up and yawns, stretching as she does so. She asks, "What's this?"

Lexx placed the tray onto her bed, just above her lap, and he answers, "Breakfast in bed, silly!" He pulls away the lid, revealing a small stack of pancakes, "Ta-da! A short stack from your favorite short stack!"

Linka beamed at the sight of the pancakes, "Wow…" She immediately got suspicious, "OK. Weird. Why?"

Lexx innocently replied, "Can't a little brother do something nice for his favorite sister?"

"I'm your _only_ sister."

"And by extension, my favorite!"

Linka glared, "Oh, come off it, Lexx! I know you're doing this so I'll give you one of the tickets!"

Lexx responded in an offended tone, "What?! _Moi_? Linka, I'm hurt! I thought I could do something sweet for my sister without being suspected of something, but I guess I was wrong!" He heads for the door, "I said good day, madam!"

After he slams the door behind him, Linka shrugged and proceeded to cut into her pancakes. Just as she was about to take a bite, Lexx popped his head and said, "But, if it does better my chances…"

Linka merely frowned at this.

* * *

Later on, Linka walks outside and runs into Leif, "Hey, sis!"

"What's up, Leif?"

Leif walks away from her, "I've got something to show you!" He stands by a tarp and pulls it off, revealing a girly bicycle, "Ta-da!"

Linka's eyes lit up, a smile across her face, "OMG!" She rushes over to it, "Is this for me?!"

"You bet!" Leif uses his oil cloth to wipe off his hands, "This baby took all morning to cobble together!"

Linka asks, "Why did you make this for me?"

Leif shrugged, "Well, you said you and Claire were going to the movies today, so I figured you'd like to get there as soon as possible! Just think of it as a gift! After all, that's what siblings do: They give each other gifts for no reason!"

Linka hears his words and grows suspicious, "Hold up! Did you make this so I would give you that wrestling ticket?"

Leif feigned ignorance, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

Linka rolls her eyes and hops on the bike, "Bye, Leif!"

As she rides off, he yells, "Hey, wait!" Leif frowns, "Dang it."

* * *

At the movies, Claire and Linka had just gotten popcorn and drinks, and Claire asks, "So, Lexx and Leif tried to bribe you into giving them a ticket?"

"Yeah." Linka sighs, "I mean, sure, I got a free breakfast and bike out of it, but I know later they'll just use this as fuel to make me pick them."

Claire frowns, "Well, you better hope the others don't get the same idea."

"Hi, girls!" Claire and Linka see Loki standing behind them, "What's up?"

Claire stutters, "L-l-l-l-Loki?" She smiles, hearts forming in her eyes as she swoons, and then passes out.

Linka asks, "Loki, what are you doing here?"

Loki replied, "Well, I was going to bring Bebe here for a date, but she canceled at the last second," He waves his hand to Ronnie, "So I decided to hang out with Ronnie!"

Linka frowns, "But you hate Ronnie."

Loki gasped, "What?! I literally don't know what you're talking about!" He puts Ronnie in a friendly chokehold, "I love the little guy, and he loves me!"

Ronnie whispered, "Save me."

Loki, gritting his teeth and glaring, whispered to Ronnie, "Like we rehearsed!"

Ronnie faked a smile and lied, "He's like the brother I never had!"

Linka groaned, "Seriously, Loki!? You guys said I have until the end of the week, and this is the third time one of you has tried this!" Linka screamed and stomped off.

This made Loki turn his friendly chokehold into a legit one, making Ronnie cough out his words, "Loki… I can't breathe…"

Claire woke up, rubbing her head, and she asks, "Linka? Where'd you go?"

Loki angrily replied, "She left, Claire!"

"L-l-l-l-Loki?!" She swooned and passed out once more.

* * *

Back at home, Linka was welcomed by Lane, "Hey, sis!"

Linka sighed, "What is it, Lane?"

He hands her a card, "For you."

She takes the card and reads it, "Prank-Me-Not Card. Good for One April Fool's Day."

Lane explains, "This card will make sure you don't suffer my wrath on any April Fool's Day!"

Linka asked, "Let me guess? In exchange, I give you the Wrestlemania ticket?"

Lane joked, "That's the ticket! Hahahahaha! Get it?"

Linka returned the card, "Keep your tempting offer!"

As she stormed upstairs, Lane joked, "Slow down before you get _another_ ticket! Hahahahaha! Get it?!"

* * *

In her room, Linka was calming her nerves by reading a book. She was looking at the book dead on and put it down, only to be welcomed by Lars's face in front of hers, "AHH!"

"Hey, Linka." Lars pulled out a book, "I've got something for you; a copy of the very first Princess Pony book."

"But I already have it."

He opens the book, showing a signature, "Not one that's autographed by creator, Laura Frost."

Linka read the signature, " _To my number one fan, Linka. Princess Pony Pals 4Ever!_ " The signature was ended with the creator's name, with a star separating the first and last names.

Linka gasped, "No way! How did you get this?!"

"I have my ways." Lars smiled, "We Princess Pony Pals have to stick together, right?"

Linka then puts two and two together, and frowns, "Nice try, Lars!" She pushes Lars out the room, "You'll have to wait until Sunday like everyone else!"

As Linka slams the door on him, Lars says, "Sigh."

* * *

The next day, Linka walks out of her room and is welcomed by Levi, "Greetings, only female sibling." He pulls out a vial and hands it to Linka, "I present you with this."

She looks at the liquid inside and asks, "What is it?"

"It is a specially made formula that will guarantee you everlasting young and beauty. Think of it as a personal fountain of youth."

She hands back the bottle, "No way, Levi! Not only do I know this'll end badly, but I know you're just doing this so I'll give you that ticket! Besides, isn't wrestling a bit below you?"

"Actually, I think of wrestling as a perfectly healthy output for my natural male aggression." He explains, "And besides, it worked well for Charles."

Charles, who looked like a puppy once again, was standing next to Levi.

As he yapped, Linka shakes her head, "No, thank you!"

As she left, Levi looks at Charles, who was now out of the viewers POV, and gasps as there was a sudden gurgling and yelping sound. Levi looked horrified by what he saw, and tells the viewer, "She was right to reject it."

Linka walked downstairs to see Lynn working on a crossword puzzle, "Hey, Lynn. What are you doing?"

"Working on a crossword puzzle, duh!" He fiddles with his pencil, "I'm stuck on this one word, though: A 9-letter word that describes a stove found in the Netherlands."

Linka thinks, "Hmm. That is a tough one."

"Oh, wait! I know what it is!" He pulls out a blanket, "A Dutch Oven!"

As Linka screams, Lynn covers her with the blanket and farts. He pulls it away, making her cough and gag!

"Dang it, Lynn!" She coughs, "I'm so sick of you doing that all the time!"

"Well," He cocks a brow to her, "There is one way to make me stop."

"If it's giving you a ticket, forget it!"

Lynn shrugs, "Your funeral." He covers her up once more and gives her another Dutch Oven.

As he laughs, Linka shouts, "EW! MY MOUTH WAS OPEN!"

* * *

The following day, Linka walks past Loki and Loni's room to go to the bathroom, only for Loni to stop her, "Hey, Linky! I need you for a second!"

"Loni, can't it wAHH!" She was pulled into the room and before she knew it, she was dressed up in a beautiful orange ballgown.

Loni asked, "What do you think?! I spent days working on it!"

Linka fumed at this and shouted, "ENOUGH!" Linka glared, "I'm sick of you guys trying to bribe me! I can't think with you all constantly trying to make me give you a ticket!" She then starts to tear the dress to shreds, leaving her in only her undershirt and panties, huffing and puffing.

"Ticket?" Loni smiled, "Oh, right! You won that contest for wrestling tickets!" Linka frown at the sudden realization that Loni had forgotten, which he made clear with, "I completely forgot about that!"

Realizing she had just tore up a perfectly good dress for nothing, she screeches and marches out her room.

She goes out into the hall, only to be welcomed by the sound of dual guitars. Luke was playing alongside his roadie and pal, Chunk, who was dressed in his usual attire, but wearing black pants and a blue jean vest. Luke started to sing as the two of them strum.

 _Hey, little sister, don't you know_  
 _That I really want to go, go, go_

Linka called out, "Luke." However, the Loud music drowned her out.

To see some wrestling, so won't you please

As he holds on the "please", Linka raised her voice, "Luke!"

Give one of those tickets to me!

 _Ticket, ticket, ticket_  
 _Gimme, gimme, gimme_  
 _And you'll be my favorite sib forever more_

She calls out more sternly, "Luke!"

 _Ticket, ticket, ticket_  
 _Gimme, gimme, gimme_  
 _And you'll be my favorite sib forever more!_

"LUUUUUUUUUUUKE!"

As the music stopped, Luke gasped, "No need to scream, sis. I'm right here."

Linka huffed, "You know, at least the others _tried_ to be subtle about wanting one of the tickets!"

Linka rushed off into her room, slamming the door, leaving Luke to tell Chunk, "Thanks anyway, Chunk."

"Anytime, mate."

* * *

At Claire's, Linka was complaining, "It's been like this all week! They're all driving me CRAZY!"

Claire shrugs, "Well, just get it over with and give two of them the tickets already!"

Linka sighs, "That's just it. This is such a hard decision to make. If I give two of them a ticket, that'll leave 7 upset brothers. I could give both to one and have him choose who he's taking, but then I'd be passing my problem onto him."

Claire whistles, "Sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place."

"Tell me about it." She frowns, "What am I going to do?"

Claire smiles, "I've got an idea!"

As her friend whispered to her, Linka nodded, "Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Yeah… Mm-hmm…" She smiles, "Uh-huh!"

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Sunday had finally arrived. In the backyard, Linka was telling her brothers, "Alright, boys! I've made my decision!"

Loki asked, "About time! So, I'm getting one of the tickets, right?"

Lynn shouted, "No, me!"

Luke glared, "Dream on, dudes!"

As the boys all started to fight, Linka whistled loudly. She managed to get them to quiet down, "Since you guys are so willing to fight for the tickets, I think I've got just the thing to decide who gets it."

Moments later, there was a small ring in the middle of the backyard, Linka and the bros standing in the middle of it. Linka announces, "You're going to wrestle for it!"

Loni gulped, "W-w-w-wrestle?"

Loki, Lynn, Leif, and Lexx all cracked their knuckles, Loki commenting, "That is literally perfect!"

Linka explains, "It's simple. 9 men enter the ring, but only two will walk away with the tickets!" She bluntly explains, "Unless the two winners are under 13, then they'll fight it out to see who goes with Dad."

Dad shows up wearing a referee shirt, "It's for your own good, boys!"

Luke asks, "What's with the getup, Pop Star?"

Linka replies, "He's going to referee."

Lynn Sr. sternly warns, "And if any of you even thinks of dog piling me, none of you will go!"

Linka asks, "So, what do you guys, say?"

They all grin and look to Lynn Sr., "Dad?"

Lynn Sr. hollers, "Let's get ready to rumblllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!"

As a bell rings, Linka hurries out the ring and the boys start to wrestle. It starts off well enough, with the little brothers all going for one another and the teens focusing among themselves. The boys were doing everything from chokeholds to body slams to Half-Nelsons and everything in between.

Linka watches the battle ensue, and out toddles her little brother, "Hi, Leon!"

Leon says, "Poo-poo!" He claps his hands together and laughs.

She sighs, "I guess you're a fan, too, eh?"

However, the regular wrestling soon grew more violent, as the boys were no longer just doing wrestling moves, but fighting like they normally do.

Lynn Sr. blew his whistle, "Boys! Stick to the rules!" The fights start to come his way, making Lynn Sr scream, "AHH! DON'T HURT ME!" He jumps out of the ring in fear.

Linka winces, "Uh, guys? Don't you think you're overdoing it?"

Before she knew it, Leif and Lexx had jumped Loki, Lexx around the teen's neck and Leif literally biting his ankle, "YOWCH!"

Now, all of the boys were fighting, regardless of age or size, with Levi slamming Loni to the ground and undulating a warrior cry!

"Guys, seriously!" Linka goes to pick up Leon, "You shouldn't see this, Le…" She notices Leon was gone, "Leon?"

"Poo-poo!" Leon had made his way into the ring, toddling about as he avoided the carnage.

Linka was frozen in fear for a second and then screamed, "LEON!" She rushes toward the ring, "Don't move! I'll save you!"

Leon was in the middle, where Lane was standing around, exhausted from all the fighting.

Lynn was on the top rope and shouted, "LOUD SLAMMER!"

Lynn jumped off the rope towards Lane, who moved out the way, leaving Leon in the line of fire. As Lynn came close to slamming the baby, Leon asked, "Boo-boo?"

Linka saw this and, as everything went slow-motion, she dived for Leon, "NOOOOOOOOO!" She managed to push Leon aside, only for her to get slammed by Lynn.

Everything returned to normal speed, and Lynn gasped, "LINKA?!" This made everyone stop fighting, knowing their sister was in the ring.

"Poo-poo!"

Everyone sees Leon was in the ring and gasps, "LEON?!"

Linka was fuming and pushed Lynn off of her, 'THAT'S IT!" Linka picked up Leon and scolded, "I can't believe you guys! It was one thing when you all were just bribing me, but now you took my simple solution and turned it into a bloodbath!"

Lynn scoffed, "Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad!"

Linka said, "You almost body slammed our baby brother!" Linka pulls out the tickets, "You know, it was hard enough to pick two of you without upsetting the others, and I didn't want to give it to one of you and push my problem on him, but you know what?!" She tosses them to the ground, "If you want to kill each other over them, go ahead!" She steps out of the ring, "Just don't ask me to watch!"

After she hurries inside, the bros all stood in the center of the ring, looking down at the tickets. They all had sullen looks on their faces.

Lynn Sr. poked his head up from behind the ring, "Is it over?"

* * *

That evening, Linka was lying in her bed, saying to herself, "Well, Wrestlemania is starting right about now. I never should've entered that stupid contest." She heard a knock at the door, "Who is it?"

To her surprise, all of her brothers walked in, "Hey, sis."

Linka sat up and asked, "What's going on? Why are you all still here?"

Loki explained, "Well, we thought a lot about what happened, and you were right to be mad."

Lynn said, "We were all real jerks."

Levi said, "We exemplified the ferocious nature of apex predators." Everyone seemed confused by his words, so he rephrased, "We acted like animals."

Lexx nodded, "Levi's right. I may be a baby face, but I feel like a real heel."

Luke told her, "We shouldn't have pressured you so hard, sis."

Linka frowned, "Thanks, guys, but I'm not exactly innocent. I shouldn't have acted like such brat. Maybe I don't understand your obsession with wrestling, but that didn't give me the right to be so rude to you guys about it."

Loki shook his head, "You don't have to apologize. We literally understand how you feel."

Lane smiled, "From now on, if you have to make a big decision, we'll back off and give you some space to think."

Linka smiled, "Thanks, guys."

With that, everyone hugged and Loki asked, "Hey, I know it's not your thing, but… wanna watch Wrestlemania with us?"

Linka thought it over for a second and nodded, "Sounds great."

* * *

Later in the evening, Linka asks, "So let me get this straight: Owens and… what's his name? Jeronimo?"

Lynn corrected, " _Jericho_."

"Oh, right. Jericho used to be his partner, but after accepting a challenge for Owens's title behind his back, Owens broke up their team and is now partners with Sami Zayn?"

Loki nodded, "Pretty much."

Linka smiled, "Wow! It's like watching a violent soap opera!"

As something happens on the TV, the Loud kids winced, "Ooooooh!"

Lane joked, "Speaking of violent…"

The boys cheered and Linka shrugged, "Well, I guess wrestling isn't so stupid after all. And if it makes my brothers happy, then maybe I don't have to understand it." She then asked, "Speaking of which, what did you guys do with those tickets?"

Loki answered, "Don't worry. We gave them to some people who really deserved them."

At Wrestlemania, Rita and Lynn Sr. stood in the stands, shouting and cheering along with the crowd, Rita shouting, "Bring the Pain, Zayn!"

Lynn Sr. shouted, "Best! Date night! EVER!"


	4. The Future is Loud

**Sorry for the long wait, folks. Life plus writer's block equals a long gap between chapters. I have plenty ideas worked out, but I wanted to do something else before I move on to a few of them. Hope you guys enjoy it!**

 **Also, a big thanks to DiamondDollDark for the idea of this chapter!**

* * *

It was another normal Saturday morning at the Loud House. Outside, Vanzilla pulled into the driveway, and Rita and the Loud teens walked in, Rita saying, "We're home!

On the couch, Linka was sitting with her little brothers, sans Lars, and watching Ace Savvy. She waves, "Hey, guys! How was the job fair?"

Loki walked in, texting on his phone and shrugging, "Eh, pretty boring. What's the point in a job fair when we've literally already got our jobs figured out."

Luke nodded, "You said it, dude." He was strumming on his acoustic guitar, "I'm going to make it big in the rock biz one day, so why bother with something else?"

Loki added, "Plus, I'm already taking business classes, so my CEO dream is already set."

Loni added, "And I've got my fashion designing."

Lane added, "And I'm already working as a professional clown."

Lynn was bouncing a soccer ball on his knees, "And do I look like the kind of guy looking for a desk job?"

Linka pondered this and nodded, "I guess you're right."

Lars appeared, scaring everyone, "I know how you guys, feel." He pulls out a piece of paper, "I ever wrote a poem about it. Careers. We'll all going to die one day, so reach for the stars, not a 401K. Careers."

Linka shrugs, "It's not Shakespeare, but not bad, Lars!"

Lexx stood up on the couch, "And speaking of Shakespeare, I'm already getting acting work, so my future is all but set! Someday, my name will be up in lights, either on Broadway, or even the big screen!"

Leif used his thumb to pick his nose, "And I'm going to make a lot being a mechanic some day! Or a vet. Or a plumber." He shrugs, "Eh, I'll decide when I'm older."

"Levi added, "And I'm already a respected member of the scientific community and help handle our family's finances, so my future career is all but a certainty, barring any unfortune acts of fate."

Linka smiled, "Wow! Seems like you guys already have it all planned out!"

Loni asked, "What about you, Linky?"

Lynn stopped bouncing his ball and grabbed it, "Hey, yeah. You didn't even say what you want to be."

"Oh, that's easy! I…" Linka stopped mid-sentence, pausing to think about it, "Um… I, uh…. Uuuuuh…" She shrugged, "Huh. I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it."

All her brothers gasped at this, and Loki asked, "Seriously, sis?"

"What?"

Lynn asked, "You have no idea what you want to do?"

She shook her head, "No. What's the big deal?"

Loki explained, "The big deal is we've all got our futures planned out, and you're literally not even thinking about it!"

Levi explained, "Loki is right, Linka. At your age, this is a time for you to start evaluating your life, and not just wasting away your life like a kid."

"I am a kid."

Levi added, "Actually, as a person in the 5th grade, you are on the verge of adolescence, just one step behind being a young adult."

Loki nodded, "Levi's right, sis. If you literally don't start thinking about what to do with your life, you could wind up working a minimum wage job your whole life."

Linka scoffed, "Oh, that's ridiculous!"

"Oh, really?" He asks everyone, "Have I ever told you guys the story or Timmy Wilkins? He never thought about his life, always having fun and partying, and when the time came for him to graduate, he couldn't get into college or find a decent job, so now he works in the Burpin' Burger and living out of his car."

Linka gulped, "Out of his car?"

"And if you don't start thinking about your future, that might be your own, Linka."

As all of her brothers left her to think about what they said, Linka worried, "My… future?"

Later that day, Linka was walking towards Burpin' Burger with her friends, saying, "And Loki said if I don't start thinking about my future, I could end up like that!"

Claire said, "Sounds rough, but Loki does have a point." She swooned, "He's so smart… and funny, and hunky, and…"

Rustee interrupted, "What Claire is saying is, he's right."

Liah scoffed, "Yeah, right! For all you know, he could be makin' all this up!"

Linka thought it over, "Hey! You're right! For all I know," They walk past a car parked in the parking lot, "Timmy Wilkins probably doesn't even…"

Out of the car, a man wearing a Burpin' Burger uniform steps out, stretching and yawning, "Another day, another dollar!" He pulls out a name tag that says "Timmy" on it and clips it to his sister. He walks by the girls, waving, "Afternoon!"

Linka was shocked by this and said, "Have a real job and is stuck at a minimum wage job."

Claire patted her best friend on the back, "Relax, girl. You'll feel better after some lunch."

Linka snapped, "If I don't get my future planned, I'll be eating lunch there every day for the rest of my life!" She runs off, "Sorry, girls! Gotta run!"/

They all just stood there, Rustee asking, "What's wrong with eating Burpin' Burger every day?"

Back at the Loud House, Linka was pacing back and forth in her room, thinking, "OK, what kind of job would I be best suited for?" She pulls out a notebook from her desk and opens it up, showing a bunch of doodles, and then turns to a blank page and starts to write down a list.

Moments later, she finishes her list, which showed a lot of careers varying from teacher to doctor to officer, and everything inbetween.

"OK! Let's see here." She points to teacher, "Hmm!" She starts to imagine her life as a teacher, complete with a thought of her older self in classroom, "Teaching the future generation, molding young minds, making learning fun!" She frowns and imagines all the cons, "But then I'd have to deal with things like unruly students, parent teachers conferences where I'm blamed for everything, and I'd probably end up like…" He imagines her future self in Mrs. Johnson's dress. She shakes her head, "No, thanks!"

She scratches out teacher and looks at the next one, "Doctor! That sounds like a good one!" She imagines her future self in a doctor's outfit, "Doctor's make people better, save lives, and make lots of money!" She considers the cons, "But then, I'd have long hours, probably working all day and night to save someone, be around germs and blood all the time, get blamed when a patient dies under my care even when I do my best…" She adds, "Plus, that means I'd have to go to college and then medical school."

"She shakes her head once more and scratches that out, "What's next?" She reads, "Police officer! Just like on TV! Solving crimes, busting bad guys, keeping the law and order of the country!" She thinks it over, "But then I'd have to deal with… well, everything that comes with being a cop these days." She adds, "Plus, that can be pretty dangerous."

She groans as she scratches it out, "Nothing, so far!" She gets a ring on her lips phone and answers, "Hello?"

"Hey, Linka!"

"What's up, Claire?"

"I need your help! I'm trying to convince my Dad's to let me go to the midnight release of the new Glob Gal movie, but I'm not having a lot of luck."

Linka shrugs, "Well, I know I'm the Mistress of Convincing, and I do love Glob Gal, but I'm kind of dealing with a crisis right now."

Claire begs, "Please, Linka! I need to get my Dad's to say yes! Please? For your best friend?"

Linka rolls her eyes, and then it cuts to Linka at Claire's place, watching from the side as Claire stands near some charts and graphs in front of her parents. Claire says, "And, with that, this should show that I am mature and cautious enough to attend this midnight showing and return home safely."

Harold smiles, "Well, I'm convinced!"

Howard tells her, "Alright, Sweetie! You can go!"

Claire cheered, "Yay!" She hugs her dad's, "Thank you, Daddies!" She turns to her friend, "And thank you, Linka!"

Linka shrugs, "Anything for a friend!" She takes her leave, "See ya later, Claire!"

In the dining room, Linka was sitting by herself, checking through her list and scratching out occupations, "Lawyer? Nah. Law school is almost as long as medical school. Model? Nope. I couldn't never be that skinny." She scratches her head, "This is hard!"

She then turns the page and starts to doodle.

Just then, her Mom came in and said, "Hi, Linka!" She looks at her daughter and asks, "What's the matter, sweetie?"

Linka asks, "What makes you think something's the matter?"

Rita bluntly explained, "Well, you always draw whenever you're stressed."

Linka looks down at her own book and sees a drawing she had made in just a matter of seconds. It showed a bunny that looked like Warren Rabbit from White Hare, only with a dress, "Oh, right." She pulls out a purple and pink marker and starts to color it in, "I don't know, Mom. Ever since the boys went to that career fair, it's gotten me think about my future."

Rita smiled, "Well, that's good!"

"No, it's not!" Linka sighs, "I've been thinking about all the careers I could do, but none of them seem right for me." She colors the dress purple and moves on to the nose, dotting it pink, "I mean, without an idea for a career, what's left for me outside of a dead-end job?"

Rita suggested, "You could always be a housewife."

Linka narrows her eyes, "Gee, Mom. Can you hear me all the way back there in the 50's?"

Rita scolded, "Linka Marie Loud!"

Linka quickly apologized, "I'm sorry, Mommy! That wasn't not me talking." She writes the name Wren Rabbit underneath, "It's the stress."

Rita patted her daughter on the back, "Relax, dear. I mean, sure, your brothers have their lives planned already, but that doesn't mean you should rush into it. After all, your father and I didn't get our dream jobs, but it didn't stop us from getting good careers and trying for our dreams later."

Linka responded, "Maybe that works for you and Dad, but I don't want to settle! That's what Timmy Wilkins did, and look how he turned out!"

Rita asked, "Who?"

Linka sighed, "This stinks; the boys have their careers all lined up for them, and I've got squat!" She then got an idea and shouted, "THAT'S IT!"

"What's it?"

"The boys!" Linka explains, "They've all found what they want to do in life, but who's to say I can't be good at what they do!" She nods, "This could work! If I try out all of their things, I'm bound to be good at one of them!" She packs up her stuff and takes off, "Later, Mom! I'm off to plan!"

In her room, Linka was sketching up some doddles on a poster board, showing different drawings. One side had two hands in a handshake, a dress, some musical instruments next to each other, a clown face, and sports balls. The other side had a piece of paper that said "poem" on it, a sketch of Vanzilla next to a toilet and an animal, a stage, and a beaker. Each picture had a check box next to it.

Linka nods, "Alright! So, first one is…" She points to the handshake picture, "Business!"

At the community college, Linka was sitting with Loki in one of his business classes.

Loki asks his sister, "You sure you want to do this, Linka? I'm glad you want to give this a try, but these classes can get pretty boring."

Linka nods, "Of course I'm sure! How boring could it be?"

Sometime later, the professor is at the front of the class, where a white board showed the words "monopoly", "monopsony" and "oligopoly", and tells them, "Now, a monopoly is described as when the supply of a certain commodity is controlled by a single person or enterprise. Monopsony, on the other hand…"

Loki was sitting, taking notes and looking quite interested in what he was saying, and asks his sister, "You getting all this, Linka?" When she didn't respond, he asked, "Linka?"

Sure enough, Linka had her head facedown on the desk, snoring away. This made her older brother roll his eyes.

Back at home, she checks the checkbox next to the business drawing with a giant, red X. She asks the viewer, "Why didn't anyone tell me business was so boring!?"

In Loni's room, Linka was watching him sewing up what appeared to be a denim jacket. She asks, "So, all you have to do is cut some fabric, sew it up, and you've got clothes?"

Loni shrugged, "Pretty much!" He shows off his jacket, "Now I've got this great denim jacket to wear because of it!" He cocks a brow, "Now I just need some new pants. Oh!" He pulls out a perfectly good leather jacket, "Maybe I can make some leather pants out of this!"

Linka raised her hand, "Ooh! Ooh! Can I try?"

Loni optimistically responded, "Sure!"

A montage began of Linka trying to turn the jacket into pants. She began to cut at the jacket, making cuts along the sleeves and jacket itself. When she pulls up the jacket, it looks like a giant, leather snowflake, which made her give a look of confusion. She then began to use the sewing machine, only for her shirt to get caught into it. Her shirt rips off, showing her white camisole undershirt. She covers herself, blushing bright red. After that, she had put on a new shirt and began to sew it manually. However, she kept on pricking her fingers on the needle, each time saying, "OUCH! Dang it. OUCH! Dang it! OUCH! Dang it!"

Once done, her creation looks like a raggedy leather orange dress, which didn't look like any human could wear. Loni smiles, "Wow! Linka! It's…" He asks, "What's a nice way of saying "total disaster"?"

Linka frowns and says, "There isn't one."

Loni smiles, "That's it! It's there isn't one!"

Linka facepalmed herself. Back in her room, she used her bandaged digits to put an X next to the sewing picture. She asks, "Why didn't anyone tell me fashion was so hard?" She shows her fingers, "And painful."

In Luke's room, Linka was shown playing through a variety of instruments. She starts with the electric guitar, then moved onto a bass, and then drums, keyboard, and the acoustic guitar. However, all she was doing was hitting sour notes, making more racket than music, per se. She asks her brother, "How was that, Luke?"

Luke was shown with giant cotton balls in his ears, reading a book that appeared to be Mick Swagger's autobiography, and not paying attention to what she said. He looks up and asks, "WHAT!?"

She puts an X next to the instruments.

In Lane's room, he was shown in his clown costume. Linka asked, "So, you remember when you told me there's more to comedy than falling on your butt? I think I'm ready to learn!"

Lane smiled, "Well, you came to the right place, sis!" He walks over to his closet, "I've got just the things." He pulls out a large pile of books and places them in Linka's arms, "There you go!"

Linka asked, "What are these?"

Lane explained, "These are all my books on clowning and comedy! From Comedy 101 to Make 'Em Laugh: Comedic Legends from Charlie Chaplin to George Carlin."

Linka asks, "I have to read all of these!?"/

He tells her, "And that's just for fun! Just wait until you see what Clown School has in store for you!"

"Clown school?"

"Comedy isn't all fun and games, Linka. It's hard work. If you wanna knock 'em dead, you gotta hit the books! Be careful, though. They bruise easily. Hahahahaha! Get it?"

Linka found the weight of the books to be too heavy and drops them. She picks up one and reads it. She says, "This one's not even in English!"

"You're welcome."

She puts an X next to the clown.

On a football field, she sees Lynn playing again another team. As he caught the ball, he was tackled by the entire team, but managed to put the ball in the endzone. He weakly cheered, "Touchdown…"

Linka cringed, "Too violent."

She puts an X next to the sports balls.

In Lar's room, she is reading through his notebook of poems. "Wow, Lars! This is pretty good!"

Lars responds, "Thanks, Linka. I try my best." He explains, "Poetry is more than just putting pretty words on paper. It comes from within. The very depths of one's soul. Since I'm a tortured one, I have an endless well to draw inspiration from."

Linka nods, "So… if I look into my soul, I may find something?"

Lars nods, "Exactly. Just think of something you're passionate about." He quickly adds, "Not Ronnie. I don't do love poems."

Linka takes a moment to think about it and blurts out, "GOT IT!" She clears her throat, "There once was a man from Nantucket…"

The scene then changed to Lars slamming his bedroom door right in Linka's face. She tells the viewer, "I don't blame him for that."

She puts an X next to the poem.

In the garage, Leif was fixing up Vanzilla, coming out of the hood of the car. He was holding a wrench and covered in oil, wiping his forehead of sweat, "PHEW! It sure is hot in there!

Their mom calls out, "Leif, honey! Charles pooped on the couch again! And the toilet's clogged again."

Lynn called out, "My B!"

Leif rushes off, "Coming!"

Linka told the viewer, "Too dirty."

She puts an X next to the dirty jobs.

In Lexx's room, Linka explains, "And I figured maybe I could be an actress!"

Lexx was sitting on a chair similar to one found on a movie set, looking quite serious. He stands up and says, "Linka, you're my sister, and I love you, and I think you'd make a great actress," He approaches his big sister, "But I'm going to be honest with you: You could never make it in the acting world." This caused Linka to frown, "You're too nice. The world of acting is extremely cutthroat, like pageants, or dancing, or archeology. You wouldn't last a day."

Linka scoffs, "Oh, please! I'm sure I could handle it!"

Lexx gives an evil grin, "Oh, really?"

Five minutes later…

Lexx was talking to Linka, who had a horrified look upon her face, "And that was just my first-grade pageant." He chuckles, "But it was worth it to be the lead sunflower." Lexx then walks his sister out the room, "I'm glad we had this talk, sis." He slams the door shut, leaving Linka looking horrified.

In her room, she simply used a big, black marker to scratch out the acting drawing and check box entirely. She sighs, "All that leaves is…"

In Levi's room, Levi was laughing loudly as his sister stood there, an annoyed expression on her face. He finally stopped and realized, "Oh! You're serious." Levi shook his head and began fiddling with some chemicals on his desk, "Linka, you are a bright girl and all, but science is a bit out of your league."

Linka glares, "Oh, yeah?!" She swipes a test tube and beaker off of the table, "Watch me make some science!"

As she pours the liquid in the test tube into the beaker, Levi yells, "LINKA, NOOOOOOOO!"

A huge explosion happens, causing the roof of the Loud House to jump up a few feet before crashing back down, and smoke escaping from.

As the smoke clears, Levi was hacking and coughing and Linka sheepishly said, "I blinded us with science?"

Levi promptly takes the beaker and test tube back and says, "Leave the music references to Luke."

Linka sadly puts an X on the box next to the science drawing. She sighs and says, "Well, I guess that's it." She shrugs, "Well, guess I'll go have some Burpin' Burger." She walks away, "I'll need to be use to that for the rest of my life."

As Burpin' Burger, she was sitting down eating a burger, looking incredibly depressed. She hears a voice asked, "Why the long face, kid?"

She looks up and sees an employee, but not just any employee. Timmy Wilkins. She gasps and glares at Timmy, putting down her burger and standing on the booth seat that she was sitting on, "YOU! This is all your fault!"

Timmy put up his hands in defense, "Whoa! Whoa! What did I ever do to you?"

Linka explained, "My brothers told me about how you wasted your life and not thought about what you wanted to do, and now you work in this dead-end job! Now I can't figure out what to do with my life, and I'm going to end up like you!"

Timmy chuckled, "Oh, that old story." He sighs, "If I had a Nickel." He sat down in the booth and said, "Kid, you're right. I did waste my life, and I am in a dead-end job, but there's more to it than that."

Linka asked, "Huh?"

Timmy explained, "Kid, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm an idiot. I was never that great at school, I partied all the time, and I never was concerned with my future. I was like every dumb kid. Course, whenever I was given an opportunity to better myself, I didn't take it. You seem like a decent kid, and the fact you're worrying now just shows how smart you are."

Linka asks, "Really?"

"Yeah!" Timmy then says, "Actually, kids like you, who were inspired by my story to try and better their lives has actually inspired me! I know I'm late to it, but I've been taking business classes at the community college lately. Course, today, I could barely concentrate, since this one guy brought his sister along and she snored through the entire class." This made Linka nervously look away, "Point it, I know I should've worried sooner, but now I am thinking about my future. Sometimes, you have to settle before you can finally wise up and go for your dream job."

Linka said, "Huh. My Mom said the same thing, but I just ignored her."

Timmy explained, "Probably because as a pre-adolescent, you view the opinion of your parental figure as outdated, but will listen to the same advice when speaking with a peer, since you feel as though their opinion is more on your side." Linka seemed confused by this and he said, "I'm also minoring in psychology."

Linka smiled, "So… I have nothing to worry about!"

Timmy nodded, "Yeah! I mean, yeah, you should think about your future, but still make time to just be a kid.

Linka got out of her booth and said, "You're right! Thanks, Mr. Wilkins!"

As she rushes off, Timmy stands back up and says, "Sweet kid." He thinks, "Where have I seen her before?"

Later that night, Linka, Claire, and all their friends stood in line at the Royal Woods Cinema. They were all wearing T-shirts that had designs of Glob Gal, but it looks like it was hand drawn. She tells the viewer, "Well, maybe I didn't find what I'm good at yet, but I will someday! For now, though, I'm going to focus on what I am good at: Being a kid!"

Claire tells Linka, "Thanks again for helping me with my Dad's, Linka!"

Zara added, "And thanks for these cool shirts you made us!"

Linka said, "No problem, girls! I've decided to leave the fashion designing to Loni, but you don't need to be a fashionista to draw on a shirt!" She looks inspired by this and thinks, "Hmm. Maybe… Nah!"

* * *

 **Just to let you guys know, I plan to do three more chapters before the end of October! One that I'm currently working on, and two Halloween chapters! I do have a trip to Orlando on the 16th for around a week, but I'll try my hardest to get them out in time! Also, as a little something to get you all excited, one of the Halloween chapters will have the Genderbent Casagrande's, and the story from then on will treat Ronnie and Bebe as living in the city. I was going to have my own rewrite of Relative Chaos in it, but I was talked out of it.**


	5. Attack of the 50 Foot Brother

**Before we begin, I must say: Happy Halloween, boils and ghouls! I hope you're ready for the first Halloween chapter, kiddies! Just keep a spare change of pants nearby, because it might scare yours off! *Cue Crypt Keeper laugh***

 **Edit: I went back and changed Linka's height from 5'3 to 5'1. I recently redid the research and discovered the apex height for an 11 year old girl is roughly 61 inches, or 5'1. While not as big of a height difference, I figured it is still enough.**

* * *

In the Loud House, the Loud siblings were gathered in Levi and Leon's room, all lined up for something. In the line, Loki, Loni, Luke, and Lane were already standing behind Levi, with Linka, Lars, Leif, Lexx, and even Leon waiting in line. Levi was measuring Lynn and jotting down notes on a clipboard.

Linka tells the viewer, "You might be wondering what's going on here." She explains, "Every 6 months, Levi makes us do this thing where we measure our heights to make sure we're progressing properly."

Lynn whines, "This is ridiculous! Couldn't we just put our heights on a door frame like a normal family?"

Levi sarcastically responded, "Oh, sure, Lynn! And while we're at it, let's use stones to measure our weight and use leeches to suck venom out of our snake bites." He looks over his notes and says, "Well, Lynn, you seem to be progressing quite nicely. You are currently at the average height of 4'8. Congratulations."

Lynn walks away, and Linka walks up, "My turn, then?"

Levi does the typical measurements and after writing some stuff down he tells his big sister, "Excellent progression, sixth-eldest-sibling! You measure at 5'1!"

Linka smiled, "5'1, huh? Not bad!"

Loni cheerfully said, "Wow, Linka! You're taller than Lynn!"

Lynn gasped, "WHAT!?"

Loki realized, "Hey, yeah! Loni's right!" Loki frowns, "Wow. I literally never thought I'd say _that_!" He turns to Lynn, "How do you like that, Lynn? Linka's taller than you!"

Lynn protested, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That can't be right!"

Levi nods, "I'm afraid it is, Lynn. My records show that Linka is 5 inches taller than you are."

Lynn glared, "Check it again! Maybe you made a mistake!"

Levi adjusted his glasses, "I don't make mistakes, Lynn."

"But you said I was at average height!"

"Precisely. You measure at 4 foot, 8 inches, which is the base average height for a 13-year-old boy. Where as Linka is at 5 foot, 1 inches, the apex height for an 11-year-old girl."

Linka told her big brother, "Calm down, Lynn. It's not a big deal."

Lynn snapped, " _Big deal_?! What is that, a small joke?!"

Linka shook her head, "No! That's not what I…"

Lynn interrupted, "There's no way that can be right! _I'm_ the _big_ brother!"

Lexx joked, "Could've fooled me!" Lexx and the boys all laughed at this, which only made Lynn more made.

Lane joked, "Aw, don't look so _low_ , Lynn! I'd tell you to be the bigger man… but you're not! Hahahahaha! Get it?"

Of course, this made the boys all laugh even louder than before.

Linka snapped, "Stop it, you guys!" Linka told her brother, "So you're shorter than me, Lynn. Who cares? You're still my big brother." She seems to be holding back a snicker, "Then again… you're only a," She brings her index finger and thumb close together, " _Little_ older than me!"

This joke made her bust out laughter, making everyone laugh uproariously, some of them even rolling on the floor.

Lynn grits his teeth, " _Linka_ …"

Linka said through her laughter, "I'm sorry, Lynn!" She wipes tears from her eyes, "I couldn't resist!"

Lynn stormed out the room, leaving his siblings to keep on laughing at him.

Later on, Lynn was shown kicking some soccer balls into his net. He was clearly kicking out of anger, "I'm not short!" He kicks one ball, "Levi said I'm average height!" He kicks another, "So what if Linka's got a few inches on me?" He kicks one more, "I mean, girls are supposed to mature faster than boys, right?"

Loki shows up, a golf club in hand, "Hey, Lynn!"

Lynn sighs, "What is it?"

Loki shrugged, "I know we made fun of you back there, but I was wondering if you could help me with my golfing?"

Lynn shrugs, "Eh, sure." He takes the golf club, "What do you need help with?"

Loki chuckles a bit, "Oh, nothing. I just figured you'd be able to help me with my… _short game_!"

Loki begins to laugh like a maniac, which angers Lynn. He tries to hit his big brother, but Loki steps backward to avoid being hit, "Whoops! Looks like you came up a _little_ _short_ , _little_ brother!"

Loki keeps laughing, which makes Lynn growl and bend the gold club over his knee. He tosses it to the ground and stomps back inside.

Up in his room, he throws a tennis ball against the wall, catching it each time it came back.

Lars shows up, "Hey, Lynn."

Lynn screams, "AAH!" The ball was thrown and ricochets back, hitting Lynn in the head. Lynn rubs his head, "OW!" He asks, "What do you want, Lars?"

Lars pulls out a sheet of paper, "I just want you to know that thanks to your pain, I was inspired to venture into new venues of writing. I'm currently working on a… _short_ story."

Lars gives a deadpan laugh, Lynn shouts, "Oh, that's it!" He dives for Lars, getting on top of the goth boy. The viewer doesn't see him get tackled to the ground, but Lynn's head pops up, "What the?" The scene zooms out to see that Lars had disappeared! Lynn looked confused and asked, "How does he do that?"

In the park, Lane and Lynn were shown walking together, both holding an Ice Cream cone. Lynn said, "Thanks again for the ice cream, Lane."

Lane shrugged, "No prob, little bro! I know everyone's jokes have made you feel a bit _low_ lately. Hahahahaha!" Lynn frowned and Lane then said, "But seriously, I know they've been bothering you."

Lynn sighed, "It's OK. At least I have _one_ brother who isn't riding me."

Lane nods, "You're welcome!" He asked, "Wanna hit up Gus's for some games?"

Lynn answered, "But I don't have any money."

"Don't worry about it. I can spot you, since you're… _short_!"

Lane started laughing like crazy, which made Lynn glare and ask, "You did all of this just to make a joke?!"

Lane was holding his gut, "Totally worth it!" As he laughed on, Lynn threw his cone, the ice cream sticking to the comedian's head. As Lynn marched off, Lane joked, "I guess this ice cream is on me! Hahahahaha! Get it?"

In his room, Lynn was busy hitting his punching bag in anger. As he huffs and puffs, he hears a knock on the door. He asks, "What?"

Linka walks in, "Lynn. Are you OK?"

Lynn crosses his arms, "No, I'm not!" He approaches his sister, "Everyone keeps making fun of me, and it's all your fault!" He points a gloved finger at his sister.

"Me?!" Linka asks in an offended tone, "What did _I_ do?"

"Ever since the measuring, everyone keeps mocking me for being short! The twins said they're combined height makes them taller than me, Luke asked me to help him practice his _low_ keys… and then said he "didn't want no short people round here" as I left… and Loni of all people tried to make fun of me, but all he said was that I was short!"

Linka told him, "Lynn, I'm sorry you feel like that, but it's not a big deal."

Lynn replied, "Oh, ha ha! First time I heard _that_ one."

"Lynn, I'm serious." Linka explained, "We're still young. We're works in progress. Someday, you might actually be taller than me. Who knows? Besides, being short isn't all bad. In fact, some people actually don't like being so tall."

Lynn smiled, "Hey! That gives me an idea!" He rubs his gloves hand under his chin, contemplating, "Maybe they're just making fun of me being they don't like being tall!" He rubs his hands in an evil manner, "So, I'll just give them a taste of their own medicine!"

Linka was worried about this and said, "Lynn, that's not what I…"

Lynn rushed off, "Thanks a lot, sis!"

Linka tells the viewer, "This won't end well."

In Loki's room, Lynn says, "Hey, Loki!"

Loki, who was on his phone, covers the receiving end and asks, "What do you want, shorty?"

Lynn told Loki, "You know something, bro. You might have looked ugly when you were younger, but you sure have changed." He grins, "I bet the babes think you're quite a _tall_ drink of water."

As Lynn laughs, Loki smugly replies, "They sure do!" He looks away from Lynn, removing his hand from the receiving end and saying, "Weirdo." Lynn frowns, and Loki says into the phone, "No, not you, babe."

Downstairs, Lane walks in from outside and Lynn asks, "Hey, Lane! I just saw you come in from outside. How's the weather up there?"

Lynn laughs and Lane replies, "Partly cloudy, 20% chance of rain." He asks, "How's the weather _down there_?" Lane rushes off, laughing, and leaves Lynn to frown.

In the kitchen, Lynn was getting a pudding when Luke approached him and said, "Hey, _little_ bro!" He snickers, but Lynn only grinned at this, "Hook a bro up with one of those pudding cups?"

Lynn put his hand to his ear and asked, "What?! You'll have to speak up! I can't hear you from up there!"

Lynn laughed, but Luke simply replied, "Huh?! What?! Speak up, dude! I can't hear you from down there!"

As he laughed, Lynn looked to the viewer and said, "Yeah, I walked right into that one."

In Levi's room, Lynn was on his hands and feet begging, "Please, please, please, please, PLEASE!"

Levi was messing with some chemicals and responded, "Forget it, Lynn! I'm not going to increase your size! I may have done unethical experiments on all of you before, but I am not going to purposely tamper with your biological progression. You'll just have to wait and see if you grow taller than our sister."

Lynn glared, "I don't want to "wait and see"! I want to "grow and show"!" Lynn thought about his words and said, "Wait. Let me rephrase that."

Levi turned to Lynn and said, "I'm sorry, Lynn, but the answer is "no"!" Levi pours the chemicals he had mixed together into a beaker. He pulls out a teat pipette and sucks some of the mixture into it, "Now, if you'll excuse me," He pulls out an apple and places it on the table, "I'm about to end world hunger! With a single drop of this serum, I will be able to turn this one apple, into two!" He drops a bit of the serum onto the apple, but instead of the desired effect, the apple actually doubled in size! "Or make it grow."

Lynn cocked a brow, "Wait. Are you telling me that little drop made the apple grow!?"

Levi sarcastically responded, "No, Lynn. I merely said that for my own amusement."

Lynn grinned, cupping his chin in his hand and saying, "Hey! If one little drop did that to an apple…"

Levi notices the look in his brother's eye and shakes his head, "Oh, no you don't!" He hides the beaker behind his back and holds up his free hand to halt Lynn, "I know what you're thinking, mister! You are _not_ getting your hands on…"

Levi was cut off by Lynn picking him up by the back of his coat. Lynn swipes the beaker and says, "I may be short, but I'm still bigger than you!"

Lynn drops Levi and starts chugging down the serum! Levi stands up and says, "Lynn! STOP!" Lynn finishes the concoction and gave a loud burp. Levi stood there in shock and said, "Oh." He says in an Italian accent, "That's-a no good."

Lynn groans, dropping the beaker. As it shatters, he grabs his stomach, "Oooooooh! I don't feel so…" He gags and then thrashes on the floor, groaning and yelling in pain. As he gets on all fours, he gives one more pained yell and suddenly, releases a huge fart!

Levi got the fart right to his face, leaving his face frozen in disgust.

Lynn stood up and wiped the sweat from his brow, "Phew! That's a relief." He closes his eyes and prattles on, oblivious that he was slowly growing, "For a second there, I was afraid something bad was going to happen!" He opens his eyes and says, "Hey! Did the room get smaller?"

Levi snapped out of it and said, "Lynn… the room isn't getting smaller." He yells, "YOU'RE GETTING BIGGER!"

Lynn feels his head hit the ceiling, "OW! What the…" He was suddenly as big as the room, and getting bigger by the second!

Leon, who was in his crib, sees this and asks, "Boo boo?"

Levi quickly grabs Leon and rushes out of his room, yelling, "EVERYONE! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

Everyone rushes out as Levi screams and start complaining about the noise. Linka ask, "Get out? Why?"

Suddenly, Lynn's giant hand pops out of the room, saying, "Levi!? Where are you?!"

Levi points and screams, "THAT'S WHY!"

Everyone quickly ran out of the house, and within a matter of seconds, the house fell to pieces as Lynn grew even more! He kept on growing, and growing, and growing, until finally, he was about 50 feet tall!

Levi says, "Oh, sweet heavenly Einstein."

Everyone got a good look at Lynn, with Loni even fainting.

Linka shouted, "LYNN! What happened to you?!"

Loki points out, "The house is literally in pieces! Mom and Dad are going to freak!"

Lane joked, "I think we have a _bigger_ problem on our hands. Hahahahaha! But seriously, this is bad!"

Linka glared, "Levi! Is this because of one of your experiments?"

Levi defended, "No. This is because Lynn stole and _drank_ one of my experiments!"

Lynn looks all over the place, "Whoa! This is awesome!" He points in the distance, "I can see Pop Pop's retirement home from here!"

Loki yelled, "Lynn! Don't worry! We're going to get you back to normal!"

Lynn glared at his siblings, "Why? Just so you guys can make me short again and keep on making fun of me?! No, thanks!"

Linka shouted, "Lynn, this is serious! Can't you see what a big deal this is?!"

Lynn asked, "Oh, now you're gonna make fun of me for being tall?!"

His siblings stayed silent, and then Lexx said, "You have serious anger issues."

Lynn said, "Hi, Kettle. I'm Pot." He picks up his foot, "And here's my good friend, Mr. Foot!"

Lynn brings down his foot, making his sibling scream and scramble. Loki quickly pulls the unconscious Loni with them, moving him out of the way of Lynn's massive foot! He stomps his way onward, going straight for the city!

The Loud kids banded back together and Loni wakes up, rubbing his head, "What happened?"

Luke answered, "Lynn's turned into an Empire State Human!"

Loki added, "And that Empire State Human is literally heading into town!"

Linka says, "We've got to stop him!"

Before she could rush off, Levi grabs hold of her skirt, making Linka stop, "Are you insane?! We can't stop him like this!"

Linka turns around and asks, "Well, what are we suppose to do? Just sit and do nothing?!"

"Nope." Levi said, "I have an idea."

In town, Linka's friends were all walking out of the theatre. Claire scoffed, "That movie was so cheesy!"

Rustee said, "You said it, sister!"

Liah asked, "A 50 Foot person? Who's the bozo who came up with _that_ idea?"

Zara added, "Giant people. Ha! The very idea is…" She stops and gasps.

The other girls look where she was looking and gasp as well. They see Giant Lynn stomping towards them.

Rustee says, "Holy moley! We're eating crow!"

Claire adds, "And the taste is quite bitter, my friends."

The girls scream and run away from the giant. He starts rampaging through town. People run away in fear of him, and he smashes buildings and crushes businesses, like Gus's Games and Grub, Flips Food and Fuel, even the Aloha Comrade! Out of the wreckage of the last one, Lynn Sr. and Sergei pop out.

Sergei tells Lynn Sr., "He's _your_ son. _You_ will pay for the damages."

Lynn Sr. frowns, "Dang it!"

Lynn arrives at each of the schools, crushing Royal Woods Elementary, then Royal Woods Middle, and then Royal Woods High! Course, all of the schools had groups of students cheering about this, until he started trying to stomp on the students!

In town, Katherine Mulligan was reporting the chaos, "This is Katherine Mulligan, reporting live! A giant, adolescent boy is destroying downtown Royal Woods! All residents are advised to…" Before she could finish, Lynn stomps on Katherine and her crew. As he stomps away, Katherine emerges from the shoeprint, saying in pain, "This is Katherine Mulligan, saying… medic!" She passes out back in the footprint.

Back at the house, Levi was busy mixing formulas and pouring them into 10 separate beakers.

Loki yelled, "Hurry it up, Levi!"

Levi snapped, "Hold your horses! I _am_ making 10 of these, you know!" As he fills up the last beaker, he says, "Alright! If my calculations are correct, this should be enough to increase us to the same size as Lynn."

Linka asked, "Wouldn't be easier to make a mixture that'll change him back?"

Levi explained, "Exactly, which is why I have the formula for such a thing, but Lynn won't take it willingly. We'll have to stop him ourselves and make enough of it to revert all of us back to normal, making sure he drinks it."

The Loud's take their respective beaker and Linka says, "Well… bottoms up."

They all begin to drink the concoction, with Leon drinking his like a bottle.

Back in the town, Lynn continues to cause destruction and chaos, shouting, "You all laughed at me! Well, who's laughing now?! Hahahahahahahahaha!" After his crazed laugh, he looks down and says, "Hey!" He reaches down and picks someone up. It was his crush, Francesca, who was screaming her head off. Lynn flirts, "Hey, Fran." He flexes his arm, "How's it going?"

Francesca screams bloody murder, trying to break free of the giant jock's grip.

Suddenly, a familiar female voice shouted, "Drop the girl, Lynn!"

Lynn looks back, "Huh?"

Behind him were his siblings, who were all now the same height as him! Leon glares and points to Lynn, "Boo Boo!"

Lynn puts Francesca down on top of a building and glares at his siblings, "So, couldn't take the fact I was the bigger brother now, eh?!"

Loki told him, "Lynn, stop this! You're literally acting like a monster!"

Linka explained, "Levi's got a formula that'll changed you back to normal!"

Levi cracks his knuckles, "It's time to take your medicine, mister!" He then removes his gloves and jacket, leaving his attire to look like his female counterpart's.

Lynn grins and stares down his siblings. He rushes towards them, roaring like a kaiju, and his siblings also rush towards him!

A giant fight begins between the Loud kids and Lynn. Punches and kicks thrown, people thrown onto buildings, thereby crushing them, and people below scrambling to escape the monstrous kids! Suddenly, many military tanks and planes appear on the scene and start firing at them.

Lynn covers his face, "OW!" He looks down and says, "Cut it out! We're fighting!" He stomps one of the tanks, causing the soldiers nearby and inside to run for dear life.

The planes also started shooting, with Luke telling them, "Dudes, stop it! We're on _your_ side!"

They all begin to swat down the planes like flies. Once they were dealt with, the fight begins again. After a few more punches are thrown, Lynn inhales deeply, and shots an atomic beam out of his mouth!

Everyone dodges the blast and Levi says, "Huh. Note to self: Side effects of serum include atomic breath."

Finally, Lynn was stopped by a diaper being thrown over his eyes, blinding him! He screams, "AAAHH!" He walks around blindly, "I can't see; and it smells terrible!"

Leon was shown, a building hiding his shame. He points and smugly glares, "Poo Poo."

Not knowing where he was walking, Lynn walks backwards, with Leif getting on all fours behind him. This causes Lynn to fall backwards and fall to the ground! A huge tremor is caused as a result of his impact with the ground.

The Loud kids all surround him and Loki gets on top of him, holding his arms to the side, "It's over, Lynn! We're turning you back to normal!"

Lynn tries to break free, but is unable to, "No way! I don't want to go back to being short! I can't live with the insults!"

Linka glared, "Lynn, enough! So we insulted you for your height. It's what siblings do!"

Lynn shook his head, "Not that! I meant the insults from everyone else!"

The Loud's ask, "Huh?"

Lynn confessed, "Ever since you guys found out I was short, it somehow got around town. Now all the kids at school and everyone in town has been making fun of me!"

Leif asked, "How did everyone figure that out?"

Lexx suddenly gulped and back up slowly, hoping no one would see him backing up.

Lynn said, "It wasn't enough my own family was making fun of me, but now everyone is."

Loni tells Lynn, "That doesn't make it right to grow giant and destroy the town, though."

Lynn sighs, "You're right. I'm sorry, guys."

Linka tells him, "We're sorry too, Lynn. I mean, sure, maybe I'm a little taller than you, but we're still growing. In a few years, you probably will be taller than me."

Loki adds, "And we promise to stop making fun of you for being short." He balls up his fist, "And literally beat up anyone who does!"

Lynn smiled, "You guys really mean that?" Everyone nods and Lynn almost tears up, "Thanks, guys." He sniffles and Loki gets off of him. Lynn says, "So, what do you guys say we turn back to normal?"

Levi told him, "Already on it!"

Sometime later, Levi is shown using the water tower to mix the new formula. Once done he says, "That should do it!" Levi holds the tower in his hand like a cup and hands it to Lynn, "You go first, brother."

Lynn takes a sip, gives a burp with a purple cloud from his mouth and smacks his lips, "Grape flavored!"

After him, everyone begins to drink from the tower, with Leon getting the last sip. In a puff of purple smoke, everyone looked as if they had returned to normal size!

Linka beamed, "Hey! It worked!"

Lynn pumped his fist, "Yes! We're back to normal!"

Loni points out, "Oh, no! Leon's still a giant!"

They see a giant Leon, who says, "Poo poo!" He then laughs.

Linka gasps, "He's not a giant." The scene shows the group was smaller than a crushed soda can beside them, "We're all teeny tiny!"

Levi sheepishly chuckled, "My mistake."

Leon toddles forward, his steps shaking the Loud's and throwing them to the ground. As Leon's foot hovers over them, Lynn says, "I don't know if this is ironic, fitting, or both." As the foot prepares to stomp them, the Loud's all huddle together and scream before being crushed!

Suddenly, Lynn wakes up on the couch, screaming his head off. "Huh?" He looks around and sees a boatload of meatball sub wrappers around him.

The TV announces, "We now return to the 24-Hour B-Movie Marathon, already in progress! _Attack of the 50 Foot_ …"

Lynn frowns and turns the TV off. He wipes the sweat from his brow and says, "Phew! I've gotta lay off the meatball subs."

Linka shows up and asks, "Are you OK, Lynn? I heard you scream."

"I'm fine, sis." He laughs, "I had this dream you were actually taller than me and everyone was making fun of me for it, so I drank some science crud Levi made so I could turn giant and…" He sighs, "Thank goodness it was all a dream!"

Linka told him, "Actually, the first part wasn't a dream." This made Lynn go wide-eyed, "I _am_ taller than you."

An exterior shot of the Loud House is shown, and Lynn screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

 **A big thanks to 1 for the story idea (and to the fanbase for the Attack of the 50 Foot Sister idea that also inspired it), and to him (or her) and DiamondDollDark for helping me decided on the ending! I know the "it was all a dream" cliché has been done to death, but I hope the twist I put on it was to everyone's liking! I may also do this as a standalone chapter, but with the regular Loud's at some point. Until then, I hope you all enjoyed it!**

 **With any luck, I should have my next Halloween chapter (featuring the GB Casagrande's) ready either for the night before or the night of Halloween. I'm actually going to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights next week, so I'll be spending a week there before returning.**

 **Also, I've noticed my story is now at 7,500+ views, so I'll be holding a poll for all of you to vote for which story I should do for my 10K view celebration! If you cannot vote in the poll, just send in a guest review of which option you'd like, and I'll put it in as a vote. Thank you, and see you all next time!**


	6. Dia de Chupacabra

**And here it is! I want to give a shoutout to DiamondDollDark for helping me out with this, as always! I can't tell you all how much I've been looking forward to writing this one! I wonder if it's because it's my first chapter with the GB Casagrande's, or because I've been wanting to do a Dia de Los Muertos story after watching Disney's Coco? Hard to tell. Either way, I hope you all like it! Happy Halloween, and _Feliz Dia de Muertos_!**

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In Vanzilla, Loki and Linka were driving when Linka tells the viewer, "I'm so excited! Me and Loki are heading to the city to spend Halloween with Ronnie, Bebe, and their family!" She corrects herself, "Well, actually, the Casagrande's celebrate Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds exciting!"

Loki told his little sister, "This is gonna be great! It's literally been forever since I've seen Bebe!"

Linka smiled, "And I'll get to see Ronnie again!"

Linka gives out a girlish scream of excitement, making Loki react by almost driving off the road. He quickly swerves to avoid doing so. Obviously ticked, he asks, "How about a warning next time?!"

"Sorry, Loki!" She hops up and down in her seat, "I'm just so excited!"

They park in front of the Casagrande bodega and Loki says, "Here we are!"

Linka smiles, "I can't wait to see everybody!"

In the hallway between the two apartments that belonged to the Casagrande family, we see Carlos and Maria. This version of Carlos wore the same attire as his counterpart, but with a greenish blue sweater vest, a pink shirt, and brown shoes instead. Maria was basically the same as her normal counterpart.

Maria asks her brother, "Carlos, have you seen Ronaldo anywhere?"

Carlos answers, not looking away from the book he was reading, "Papa sent him to fetch Bebe from the bodega." He tells his sister, "Did you know that before the 16th century, _Dia de Muertos_ used to be celebrated at the beginning of summer?"

Hector Casagrande walked in, "Yes, son. You tell us that _every year_." This version of Hector was wearing a navy-blue jacket over a white shirt, greenish blue pants, and black shoes.

"Hector!" Rosa Casagrande walks into the hallway. She wore an asparagus green dress with tannish sleeves and collar, an olive-green apron, and black shoes.

Standing beside her was a little girl who appeared to be the genderbent version of Carlitos. Her hair was the same, but had a small red bow in it, and wore a white shirt, a red skirt, and black flats.

Rosa was holding what appeared to be marigolds and complained, with the little girl mimicking her ever move, "These are _French_ Marigolds! I told you to buy _Mexican_ ones!"

Hector defended, "These were cheaper!"

"I can't put these on the _ofrenda_! It'll _offenda_ the spirits!"

Hector walks back into the apartment on the left, "How can you offend someone when they're dead?"

Rosa walks in after him, "Watch it, or _you'll_ be _joining_ the dead!"

Maria puts her hand to her forehead and shakes her head, obviously exasperated by the fighting, walking to the apartment on the right.

Sergio flies in and squawks, "Lover's quarrel!"

Lalo runs out of the apartment on the right, with a little girl following behind him. She looked like a 6-year-old version of Carlota, only with a red dress instead of blue, and missing her two front teeth. As Lalo hides behind her father, she tells him, "Daddy! CJ's trying to bench press Lalo again!"

A 17-year-old boy walks out of that apartment. He looked like Carlino, only without the tooth gap and wearing a hoodie the same color as Carlota's dress. He also appeared to be muscular in contrast to his female counterpart's plus-sized figure.

CJ defends, "Carrie's lying!" He added, "I was trying to _leg_ press him."

Carlos, his face still in his book, walks into the left apartment with Lalo, "CJ, leave Lalo alone. He's a dog, not exercise equipment."

CJ frowns, "Yes, dad."

As he returns to the right apartment, Carrie, aka Carlina, smugly sticks her tongue out at her older brother. She then enters the left apartment.

As she left, another girl exited the right apartment. She looked like CJ's genderbend, with pigtails and a yellow dress. She was holding a baby doll and puts her index finger to her mouth, "Shhhhh! Everyone, be quiet. It's baby's nap time!"

Out of the left apartment came Frida. She wore a cream-colored dress with a green pattern at the top, and wearing dark brown flats. She pats her daughter on the head, "Sorry, Carlota, sweetie. We'll be a little quieter."

Rosa reappears and says, "But the spirits won't after they see _French_ Marigolds on the _ofrenda_!"

Hector reappears and shouts, "Who cares?! A marigold's a marigold!"

The entire Casagrande family, plus Maria, enter the hallway and start yelling and talking over each other, until a voice calls out, "Hi, everyone!"

The yelling stops and Carlota drops her doll, "Linka! Loki!" The 13-year-old rushes over and hugs the white-haired girl, both kicking one of the legs up behind them.

Linka breaks the hug as the family gathers around them, "It's so great to see you guys!" She picks up the youngest Casagrande, "Hi, Carlita!"

Loki approaches CJ, "What's up, CJ?" The two teens playfully punch at each other, laughing like idiots.

Carlina went bug-eyed when she saw Loki. She smiles, ripping off her dress, only to reveal a red halter dress. She pulls out an oversized powderpuff and pats it against her face. A powder cloud occurs, and her face was covered in makeup.

She saunters over and flirts, " _Buenas tardes, mi amore._ "

Loki rolls his eyes and groans at Carlina's display. He unenthusiastically replies, "Hi, Carlina. You look…"

Carlina interrupts, "Beautiful? Gorgeous?" She flutters her eyelids, "Like an angel?"

"Overdressed."

This made the young Latina frown, so she rips off her dress, showing another outfit similar to the one she first had on. She uses said dress to wipe her face clean of makeup and throw it to the ground.

As she stomps away, Loki asks, "So, where's Bebe?"

Maria told them, "In the bodega."

Hector added, "I sent Ronnie to go get her, but that was 10 minutes ago."

"We're right here!" They look behind the two Loud's. Ronnie and Bebe were standing there, with Bebe wrapped up in a blanket and shivering something fierce, "Bebe got stuck in the milk freezer again."

Bebe whispered, "S-s-s-s-s-s-so… c-c-c-c-c-c-cold…"

Loki smiles, "Babe!"

Bebe smiles, "L-l-l-Loki!"

The two teens rush over and hug each other, with Bebe kicking up one of her legs behind her. Loki's eyes shot open and he hollered, "WHOA! COLD!" Bebe pulls away and Loki bluntly adds, "I didn't say stop."

Ronnie approached Linka, "Hey, Linka! How goes it, Snow White?"

Linka hugged the Latino boy, practically squeezing all the air out of his lungs, "It's so good to see you again, Ronnie!"

Ronnie's eyes were wide open and he awkwardly said, "Can't… breathe…"

This made their siblings and the Casagrande's go, "Aaaawwww!" Frida pulled out her camera and took a picture.

After Linka breaks the hug, she sniffs the air and asks, "What's that smell?"

Ronnie explained, "It's CJ's cologne. He sprayed it on me earlier."

Linka smiles, "You should wear it more often." She chuckles, "Really covers up the musky city boy smell."

As she walks away, CJ approaches Ronnie and gently elbows the young boy, "Told you your girlfriend would like it."

Ronnie retorted, "She's not my girlfriend!"

Inside the apartment for the grandparents and Santiago's, the family were putting the finishing touches on some type of altar against a wall of the apartment. It seemed to have many pictures of different people, ranging from young children to old people, and having different types of photos from black and white to full color. These pictures surrounded by various items, such as food, a bottle of some unknown drink, decorated skulls, and incense. There was a path of petals from the flowers that Rosa and Hector were arguing over earlier, which lead from the small altar to the door.

Linka asks, "So, what exactly is this?"

Bebe explained to the young Loud, "It's an _ofrenda_. It's a small altar for deceased relatives."

Rosa took over, "On _Dia de Muertos_ , the _ofrenda_ is sprinkled with a path of marigold petals, which help guide the spirit of loved ones back from the grave." She adds, "We usually use Mexican marigolds," She glares at her husband, "But I suppose _French_ ones will do!"

Hector warns, "Now, don't start _that_ again!"

She waves her hand over the pictures, "All of these are pictures of our deceased family back in Mexico."

Loki asked, "So you guys just welcome ghosts into your house?"

Linka reminded her brother, "When Lars did that, Mom and Dad grounded him for a month." She whispers, "I'm pretty sure Geo 1 is still haunting the bathroom."

Maria continued, "On the _ofrenda_ , we put things that the deceased most enjoyed in life, such as," She points to various items, " _Pan de muerto_ , or dead bread, and of course, _calaveras_ , or sugar skulls!"

Frida points out, "Hey! Wasn't there a chocolate skull on here?"

We see Linka with said skull, her mouth wide open as if she were about to chomp on it. She stops and sheepishly asks, "Oh; was this for the deceased?" As she puts the skull back, she apologizes, "Sorry."

Rosa told her, "Not to worry," She pinches Linka's cheek and speaks in her native tongue, " _Mi angelita de pelo blanca_." She explains to Linka, "You kids will get plenty to eat after we visit Victor's grave."

Linka and Loki asked, "Grave?"

CJ told them, "Yeah. In addition to the _ofrenda_ , we visit the graves of our relatives."

Rosa adds, "However, here in the city, I'm afraid we only have _one_ grave to visit: Victor, Hector's father." The picture showed what appeared to be an older, heftier Hector.

Hector sighs, "How I miss you, Papa."

Bebe told them, "We visit the grave, tidy it up, and place some of his favorite things around it."

Linka smiled, "Cool. All we're missing is for the dead to come back to life."

Almost on cue, Linka feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around and sees a skull face! She screams and jumps into Loki's arms. However, the skull face was lifted and it was shown to be a mask worn Ronnie. He laughs, "Gotcha!"

His mother scolds, "Ronaldo!" She grabs the mask, "I thought I told you to stop doing that. Remember how bad you scared Carlota last time?"

Carlota was shown cowering behind her mother.

Ronnie sighs, "Sorry, mom."

At the cemetery, it was sunset, and the group had set up Great Grandpa Victor's grave. They were all sitting around on blankets and talking of old memories of the man.

Hector said, "And then, when Papa bent over, I slap his _burro_ on the backside, and it kicked him right into the river!" Everyone laughed at this story, excluding Ronnie, and Hector added, "Oh, he was _so_ mad after that!"

Linka, who was sitting on a blanket with Ronnie, wiped a tear from her eye. She looked at Ronnie and asked, "Ronnie, what's wrong? You didn't think that was funny?"

"It's hilarious," He sighs, "But because of this stupid holiday, I'm missing out on the _real_ Halloween! I wanted to go trick-or-treating with my friends, but instead, I'm stuck here waiting for a dead guy to show up."

Linka told him, "Ronnie, don't be like that. Sure, trick-or-treating is nice, but spending time with your family is worth more than a bunch of candy."

Ronnie scoffs, "Says you." There was the sound of an owl hooting and Ronnie smirked. He stands up and tells the family, "Hey, I'll be back! Linka and I gotta go to the bathroom."

Linka defended, "But I don't have to…"

Before she could finish that sentence, Ronnie grabbed her wrist and they ran off, "We'll be back!"

Once a distance away, Linka pulled her arm away and asked, "What's the big deal, Ronnie? I don't have to tinkle."

"Me, neither." He whispers, "That was just an excuse to get away."

Linka gasped. She then smiled, "Oh, Ronnie. You just wanted to be alone with me." She gushes, "That's so…"

He caws like a raven, and from behind the tree they were by, Ronnie's friends appeared.

They were the GB's of Nikki, Casey, and Sameer. Nikki's GB looked the same, but no eyelashes and red shoes, instead of pink. Casey's GB was also the same, but had her hair in cornrows. Sameer's GB was also the same, but her frizzy hair was worn down, rather than an overhead swoop.

Linka finishes her sentence, sounding confused, "Romantic?"

Ronnie tells them, "What's up Nicky, Samira, Kasey?" He waves to the white-haired Loud, "You guys remember Linka."

Nicky waves, "Hey!"

Kasey asks, "What's up, girl?"

Samira waves, "Happy Halloween."

Linka asks, "Why are you guys here?"

Ronnie explained, "If my family won't let me have treats," He grins, "I'll just have to give _them_ a _trick_!" He asks his friends, "Did you bring Lalo?"

Kasey moves out of the way to show she was holding Lalo by a leash. However, Lalo was fully shaven! He was surprisingly skinny underneath all of his fur.

Linka gasps, "What did you do to Lalo!?"

Nicky answered, "We shaved him."

Ronnie told her, "We're going to dress him up and scare my family! They won't stop me from trick-or-treating once they run away from…" He looks back and forth and says, " _La Chupacabra_."

Linka glares, "Ronnie! You're going to scare your family with a fake Chupacabra? That's so mean!" She adds, "Plus, I think your family is too smart to fall for that."

Ronnie asks, "Have you _met_ my Grandma?"

Linka bluntly responds, "Touché; but what about Lalo? If your mom finds out about your prank, you'll be in big trouble. How will explain how he's shaven?"

Ronnie answered, "My Grandma has a special tonic for hair growth. Worked great for my uncle Jose's mustache after the "garbage disposal fiasco". I'll just give Lalo a bit before they find out."

Samira shows a bag she was carrying, "I've got the supplies for the trick!"

Ronnie tells the white-haired girl, "We could use an extra set of hands." He assures Linka, "It's just one harmless little prank, Link. He's just going to scare the others away. Nothing more."

"Well…" She thinks about it and says, "OK. But if something bad happens…"

Ronnie scoffed, "What could possibly go wrong?"

Linka looked at the viewer, "He _really_ shouldn't have said that."

A few moments later, Lalo was fixed up with fake spikes on his head, running down his back. Fake, red contacts were put on his eyes, which looked as though he would have red eyes. Ronnie pulls out a muzzle, which looked like the face of a snarling dog, "And now the finishing touch. This muzzle has a voice changer that'll make his barks and pants sound like roars and growls."

Lalo pants and gives a few barks. After Ronnie slips on the muzzle, the noises sounded like the growls and roars of a monster.

Kasey chuckled, "This is gonna scare 'em good!"

Kasey unhooks Lalo and the dog runs over to the group.

Loki tells Bebe, "Your Great Grandpa literally sounds like a great guy, babe."

"He was." She chuckles and snuggles with her boyfriend, "You would've love him."

The family were laughing and Rosa said, "And then… and then, at the reception, Victor got up on one of the tables and said…" Rosa sees a pair of red eyes in the distance. She sees Lalo, but to her, it looked like, " _LA CHUPACABRA!"_

Hector was confused, "He didn't say _that_." Rosa turned her husband's head and he saw what she saw. He screams, "¡ _AYE, DIOS MIO_!" He stands up and points to the creature, "It _is_ a Chupacabra!"

Everyone looked over as the Chupacabra screeched and growled. They all jumped up and screamed in terror, while Carlota smiled and waved, "Hi, Mr. Chupacabra!"

Bebe jumped into Loki's arms, "Loki, SAVE ME!"

Carlina also jump into his arms, or rather on top of Bebe, "Loki, save _me_!"

They all ran off in terror, with Loki carrying the two girls, CJ carrying Carlota, and Frida carrying Carlita. Funnily enough, Hector was carrying Maria, and Rosa carrying Carlos.

Maria bluntly told her parents, " _Mama_ , _papa_ , we can walk."

Both shouted, "No time!"

Once they were a far enough away, Ronnie and his friends started laughing up a storm. Ronnie wiped a tear from his eye, "Oh, man! Was that good!"

Linka worried, "I don't know. Didn't that seem kind of mean?"

Samira said, "That's the point."

Kasey nudged the Loud girl, "Lighten up, Linka! This is what Halloween is about!"

Ronnie grabs Samira's bag and pulls out a skeleton mask, "And getting candy!"

They all put on a skeleton mask, and Ronnie gives one to Linka. She smirks, "Well, I could go for some Halloween chocolate."

Ronnie nodded, "That's the spirit!" He reattaches the leash to Lalo and ties it up to a tree, "You stay right here until we get back, Lalo!"

As they walked off, Lalo barked, which sounded like a roar. Linka asked, "Shouldn't we give him that hair growth stuff?"

Ronnie told her, "We'll do it after we trick-or-treat."

Some time later, Ronnie is lugging a bag full of candy and says, "Alright. Samira, since you're the least likely to scarf it all down, we'll be hiding the candy at your place."

Samira nodded, "OK!"

Linka chuckled, "I got to admit. This night has been fun!"

Ronnie nodded, "You said it!" They walk back into the cemetery and he says, "Now, to give Lalo the hair junk and we'll be…" He stops in his tracks and yells, "Gone!"

The tree where Lalo was had his leash still tied up there, but no Lalo attached to it! He picks up the collar, which looked like it had been torn, signifying that Lalo had torn it to escape.

Linka feared, "Oh, no! Lalo's escaped!"

Ronnie said, "This is bad!" He turns to the group, "OK, guys. You rush back to Samira's and establish an alibi. Linka, lets go find Lalo! He couldn't have gotten far!"

The kids all nod and go their separate ways.

Later, Linka and Ronnie were shown in different parts of the neighborhood, calling Lalo's name. Back at the Casagrande bodega, Ronnie and Linka joined up and Ronnie asked, "Did you find him?"

"No!" Linka worried, "We looked everywhere, and no trace of Lalo!"

There were screams inside. The kids react to this and Ronnie says, "I think we found him."

They rush upstairs and sees Lalo clawing at the door to the apartment of Carlos, Frida, and their kids.

Ronnie wiped his brow of sweat, "Phew! Thank goodness." He pulls out a small bottle and says, "Now, let's give him this junk and get him back to normal."

As the kids approached the Chupacabra costume dog, the door for the other apartment swung open and they were pulled inside.

Linka and Ronnie saw the Casagrande's, Maria, Bebe, and Loki all huddled together.

Loki shouted, "Linka!"

Bebe shouted, "Nini!"

Both teens hug their respective younger sibling, "You're OK!"

As they break the hug, Rosa hugs both children, cradling them in her bosom, "Oh, Ronnie, Linka!" She starts speaking in Spanish for a few seconds, and after breaking the hug, she says in English, "You two are lucky to be alive!"

Linka asked, "Alive?"

Ronnie asked, "What are you talking about?"

Hector answered, "About that Chupacabra outside! When he attacked us in the cemetery, we thought you two had been eaten!"

Rosa shouted, "This is what happens when you anger the spirits!" She scolds her husband, "Thanks a lot, Mr. "A Marigold's a Marigold"! This is obviously Victor getting back at us for not using the right flowers!"

Hector defended, "My father couldn't care less about wearing matching socks, much less what country a flower is from!"

Carlos was cowering in a corner, surrounded by opened books, "I always thought the Chupacabra was just a hairless dog, but now I see it is real!"

Both Linka and Ronnie looked guilty when he said "hairless dog".

Frida was hugging her three daughters, rocking them and singing to the tune of "Hush Little Baby", only in Spanish.

Carlota trembled, "I don't want the Chupacabra to eat me!"

Carlina hugged her big sister, "Me, neither!"

This only made Frida hug them tighter and sing slightly louder, tears running down her eyes.

CJ hands Ronnie a helmet, "Here, Ronnie." CJ was shown wearing one, "If that monster breaks in here, it's up to you and me to use our heads." He adds, "Anything to protect our family, Bebe's boyfriend, and your girlfriend."

Linka and Ronnie say in unison, "I'm/she's not his/my girlfriend!"

Linka pulls Ronnie into a corner and whispers, "Just a harmless prank, eh? What could possibly go wrong, huh?!"

Ronnie tried calming her down, "Relax, Linka. They're just a little scared. No one's actually gotten hurt." He pulls out the bottle and says, "I'll just get my way back outside and give him…"

Rosa shows up and grabs the bottle, "My hair potion!" She smiles, " _Gracias, Ronaldo_! I've been looking everywhere for that!" She walks away, "After this Chupacabra business, I can send it to Jose!"

Hector shows up and gossips to Linka, "There must've been another "garbage disposal incident"."

As they walk away, Linka glares at Ronnie, who nervously chuckles, "Well… we can just wait this out until it grows back."

She snaps, keeping her tone hushed, "Ronnie!"

Ronnie defends, "OK, OK!" He pulls out Lalo's collar, "I'll tell them the truth. Maybe they'll go easy on me."

He comes to the middle of the room and says, "Everyone! I have a confession to make." He shows the collar, "That Chupacabra out there…"

Rosa cuts him off, "ATE LALO!" She snatches the collar and tears up, "Oh, that poor little _perro_!"

She cries into her husband's shoulder.

CJ says, "Not Lalo!" He tears up and starts to cry as well.

Bebe cries into Loki's shoulder, "What kind of monster would eat such a sweet little pup like him!?"

Loki glares, "That Chupacabra is literally a monster!"

Carlota asks, "Lalo got eaten?"

Frida and her daughters looked sadden by this and start crying.

Ronnie looked extremely guilty at this point, and Maria walks in, "What's going on?"

Before Linka or Ronnie could get a word in edgewise, Hector tells his daughter, "That _thing_ ate Lalo!"

"WHAT!?" Maria growls, "Not to worry! I just got off the phone with animal control!"

Linka and Ronnie shout, "Animal control?!"

"I told them about the Chupacabra, and then they hung up on me, so I lied and said it was a rabid dog, so they're coming right over!" Maria told the kids, "Don't worry, _ninos_! They will get rid of that monster!" Ronnie bites his bottom lip in guilt, "I hope they put that beast 6 feet under in a pine box!"

Ronnie screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Everyone was surprised at this and said, "You guys, Lalo wasn't eaten by a Chupacabra. He _is_ the Chupacabra!"

Carlos asked, "What are you talking about?"

Ronnie sighed, "It was all part of a stupid prank! I was just so miffed you guys wouldn't let me trick-or-treat, I just wanted to scare you a bit, but it got way out of hand!"

Maria glared at her son, " _Ronaldo Andres Santiago_! How could you…" There was a crash and Maria asked, "What was that?"

Everyone runs out of the apartment and sees the door to the apartment was wipe open! Standing there was an animal control professional, aiming a gun at Lalo! He says, "Wow! So that Chupacabra call wasn't a joke!"

The Casagrande's, Santiago's, and Loud's all shout not to have him shoot, but he wasn't listening. He cocks his gun and Ronnie runs down the stairs in slow-mo, "Noooooooo!"

The slow-mo shows the gun fire and hit Lalo! Once down the steps, Ronnie dropped to his knees, looking over the dead animal. He tears up and cries, "Noooo!" He hugs Lalo, "Oh, Lalo! What have I done!?"

The man tells Ronnie, "Step aside, son. We've gotta take this… thing with us."

Ronnie held the dog closer, "He's not a thing!" He removes the muzzle, showing Lalo's face, "It's a dog! I dressed my dog up for a stupid prank!" He cries into Lalo's fur, "And now he's… he's… DEAD!"

"He's not dead." This made Ronnie stop crying, "I shot him with a tranquilizer dart; he's just sleeping."

Ronnie notices the dart and asks, "So, he's… alive?" He smiles and hugs the sleeping pup, "HE'S ALIVE!" He looks over his shoulder to see a group of incredibly mad people. He gulps, "And _I'm_ dead."

Some time later, Rosa was pouring some hair potion into Lalo's water bowl and said, "That should help put some hair on the dog."

As Lalo lapped it up, Maria asked Ronnie, "Well, Ronaldo? What do you say?"

Ronnie sighed, "I'm sorry, everybody. I shouldn't have pranked you guys like that." He shrugged, "I thought it was just a harmless prank, but as I can tell, I was sorely mistaken."

Frida asked, "But why? Why would you do this?"

Ronnie kicked some dust on the floor, "I don't know. I just wanted to trick-or-treat with my friends, but you guys kept on forcing me to be a part of this."

Maria told her son, "That's no excuse, Ronnie." She frowns, "But I guess it was unfair of us to make you do all of this."

Hector kneels down to his grandson, "We just wanted you to appreciate your heritage."

"I know." He walks over to Lalo and says, "You guys just wanted me to understand what this holiday is about: Family. And I treated a member of that family very poorly." The Latino looked to Lalo and said, "Lalo, I'm really sorry about all this, boy. Can you ever forgive me?"

Lalo looks over to Ronnie, looking mad at him. However, he quickly changed to a smile and pant, and then licked the young boy across the face.

Loki joked, "I guess that's a yes?" Everyone laughed at this.

Ronnie chuckled, "Thanks, Lalo." Lalo's fur finally grew back, "Hey! Your fur is back!"

Rosa nods, "Works every time."

Linka says, "Good to see you've learned your lesson, R."

"You said it, L." He looks to his family, "Hey, guys. I want to make this up to you."

Maria asks, "You mean besides being grounded for a month for this stunt?"

Hector held up a bill, "And paying for the animal control bill?"

Ronnie nods, "That seems fair," He smiles, "But I have something more personal in mind."

Back at the graveyard, the group were sitting around, eating a large picnic that Rosa had prepared.

Bebe told a story, "And then, after I broke the chair, Great Grandpa shouted, " _Roberta Alejandra Martinez-Milenia Luisa Santiago_!"! But I gave him my famous "Guilty Stare" and he couldn't stay mad at me."

Everyone, including Ronnie, laughed at this. He sniffles, "I gotta admit. Great Grandpa Victor _does_ sound great."

Linka nods, "He sure does."

On a different blanket, Ronnie's friends were sitting nearby. Nicky says, "Thanks again for letting us join you guys."

Kasey laughs, "These stories are hilarious!"

Maria tells the kids, "I knew you kids would like them." She frowns, "By the way, after this, I'm calling your parents about your hand in that "Chupacabra" prank."

All three kids frowned, "Dang it!"

Linka looks to the viewer, "Well, things may not have been great, but Ronnie did learn his lesson: Never take your loved ones for granted." Lalo hops on Ronnie and starts licking his face, which the Latino boy laughed at, "Especially the furry ones." She waves, "Happy Halloween, and _Feliz Día de los Muertos_!"

Rosa interrupted, "It's _Día de Muertos_! There is no _los_!"

Linka shrugged at this, shaking her head and smiling.


	7. Dads Don't Dance

**Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry it's been a while since I've written anything. All the stuff I wrote for Halloween had taken a lot out of me, and I needed myself a break. I'm back, though, and here to give you the first chapter of the new year! It is the chapter you all voted for, so I hope you all enjoy!**

 **PS. Thank you to 1 for the story idea. I knew your idea was a winner, and this proves it!**

* * *

One day after school, Linka and her friends were walking through the halls. As the bell rings to let them know school is over, they walk their way to the entrance, where Linka says, "Hey, you girls want to head over to Gus's for a slice? My treat."

Claire told her friend, "Thanks, girl, but I can't." She explains, "I've gotta do some shopping."

Rustee added, "Yeah, me too."

Linka asked, "Shopping? For what?"

Zara answered, "What do you think? For the dance!"

Linka was confused, cocking an eyebrow, which made Claire point to the wall. Linka turned and saw what appeared to be a flyer, which Linka read aloud, "5th Grade Father/Daughter Dance?! This Friday in the School Gym!?"

Claire smiled, "Isn't it great? My dads are so excited!"

Linka facepalmed and whined, "Oh, no! This is horrible!"

Liah asked, "What's the matter, Link?"

She answered, "Why didn't anyone tell me about this!? If my dad finds out about this, my life is over!"

Claire asks, "What are you talking about? I thought your dad loved to dance."

Rustee added, "Yeah. Wasn't he the winner of that "Dance Your Pants Off" contest, or whatever?"

"That's not the problem!" Linka sighed, "Look, you girls know I love my dad and all, but he can be so… What's a nice way of putting it?" She bluntly finishes, "Embarrassing."

Claire asked, "Embarrassing?" She playfully blows a raspberry, "That's ridiculous! You've got one of the coolest dads we know!"

"That's because you don't live with him." She tells the viewer, "Every time I do something with my dad, he totally embarrasses me!"

* * *

 _Linka is shown at a shopping mall, looking at a mirror as she looks at a pair of jeans she put on. She seems happy with said jeans. She hears her father call, "Hey, Linka!" She looks over and sees her dad wearing skinny jeans, which obviously were too small and made him walk all funny, "Check it out, sweetie! I'm hip!"_

 _However, as he walks, the button on the jeans pops off and flies over to a mannequin, hitting it on the head. This causes it to fall over and knock the other mannequins standing by. As the other store patrons and workers laugh, Linka blushes deeply and hides her face with a shopping bag._

* * *

 _At a Boyz Will Be Boyz concert, Linka is among the crowd of screaming fangirls, but those screams soon turn to gasps as Lynn Sr. appears on stage, "Alright! Let's jam!"_

 _He pulls out a cowbell and starts to bang it, which made the bandmates glare. He was soon tossed off of the stage into the crowd. As the fans all laughed at him, Linka blushed and pulled out another bag, almost out of thin air. She puts it over her head to hide her shame once more._

* * *

 _At the public pool, Linka is in the pool, lounging on an inflatable, a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. She hears her father shout, "Cannonball!"_

 _She gasps and pulls her sunglasses up, "Dad, wait!" It was too late, however. Lynn Sr. did a cannonball, splashing his daughter, making her glasses disappear and getting her all soaked. Linka glares at this._

 _Lynn Sr. climbs out the pool and sighs. He then asks, "Hey, did it suddenly get drafty?"_

 _Linka screams and everyone laughs. Lynn Sr. looks into the pool and sees his swim trunks! He gasps and quickly hides his shame, diving back into the water to grab them. Linka, who was still on the inflatable, had a strange look on her face and her eyes had turned grey. She calls out, "Could someone hand me a bag? I'd get it myself, but I'm blind."_

* * *

Back with the girls, Claire bluntly hums, "I see your point."

Linka warns, "If he finds out about this dance, he'll totally embarrass me again!"

Liah told Linka, "I don't know, Linka. I think you're pretty lucky to have a dad to be embarrassed by." She sighs, "I wish my daddy were here to take me."

Claire tole Liah, "You know, if you want Liah, I could ask one of my dads to be your date."

Liah smiles, "Well, hot dog!" She hugs the black girl, "Thanks, Claire!"

Linka snaps, "Hello! Crisis over here!"

Claire told her friend, "Linka, will you stop? You're sounding like a total brat. Besides, it's not like you can keep your dad from finding out about the dance."

Linka got an idea and slyly grinned, "Or can't I?"

* * *

As the house, Linka is finishing explaining to her brothers, "So, no matter what, dad cannot know about this!"

Luke asked, "Come on, sis. Don't you think you're being a bit hard on Pop Star?"

Loki said, "He's right, Linka. Sure, our dad can be a bit silly, but it's not like he's embarrassing on purpose."

"I don't care!" She stomps her foot, "I just got everyone to forget about the "public pool" incident. This dance will just be another chance for everyone to laugh at me because of him; I'll die from embarrassment!"

Levi explained, "You do realize that's a physical impossibility?"

Lars smiles at this and says, "We'll see about that."

Loki told his sister, "Alright, sis. I think you're literally being ridiculous, but we'll try to make sure he doesn't find out."

Lynn Sr. walks into the house and waves, "Hey, gang! Daddy's home!"

Almost of cue, Leif stands on the coffee table and shouts, "Pile on Dad!"

As they jump into the air to pile him, Lynn Sr. shouts, "STOP!" Strangely, the boys all stopped mid-air and he explain, "Sorry, Boys! I'm afraid there won't be any dog piles this week!" He stretches, "Gotta keep the old spine in shape for this Friday!"

Linka gasps, "Friday?" She nervously smiles and asks, "W-what's this Friday?"

Lynn Sr. replies, "The Father/Daughter dance, of course!"

This made Linka look worried, she asks, "The dance!? How'd you find out about that!?"

"I got an e-mail from your school about it!"

Linka smiles nervously and says through her teeth, "You don't say."

Lynn Sr. kneels down to his daughter, "Aren't you excited, Princess?" He puts his arm around her, "Just you and me having a grand old time, just like the good old days!"

The Loud patriarch hugs the middle child, who feigns excitement, "Yeah. Great."

As the hug breaks, Lynn asks, "Um, Dad, Linka?" The two of them look over to the boys, who were _still_ stuck in the air! All of the boys looked quite worried, "Could you help us down?"

* * *

The next day, Linka was sitting outside at recess, Claire right next to her. Linka whined, "It's officially, Claire. My social life is over."

"Relax, Linka." Claire assured, "You're overreacting. I mean, maybe your dad is a bit…"

As her friend hesitated, Linka told her, "You can say it. I already did."

Claire continued, "Ok, he's _totally_ embarrassing, but I think he's smart enough to not embarrass you in front of all the girls in our grade."

Linka smiled, "Hey, yeah! I guess you're right. My dad is…" She hears her phone go off and sees a text from her father. She opens it to see a picture of Lynn Sr., whom was wearing his tight leather pants. Linka read the text, " _Good news, Princess. I squeezed into my old pants. Looking forward to this Friday?_ " Linka finished her previous sentence, "Is going to totally embarrass me!"

Linka buried her face into her hands and Claire shrugs to the viewer, "Guess I was wrong."

Linka picked her head back up and said, "Oh, why me? Why _me_?" She grabs her stomach, "I think I'm going to be sick." She then got an idea, "Wait a minute. That's it!"

Claire asks, "What's it?"

Linka explains, "Think about it. If I pretend to be sick, my dad won't want to take me to the dance, and I won't get embarrassed!"

Claire told her, "That's an awful idea."

Linka retorts, "No," She grins evilly as shadow are cast upon her, "It's absolutely _perfect_."

She's interrupted by Liah appearing and saying "Hey, Claire!" She was holding a pair of overalls that appeared to be the right size for a slender adult, "I found my Pa's old overalls! I figured your dad could fit into them for the dance."

Claire takes the overalls and says, "Thanks. I'm sure he'll love them."

Linka was obviously not amused by being interrupted.

* * *

The next morning, there was a loud coughing and wheezing noise coming form the Loud House. Lynn Sr. knocks on Linka's door, "Linka?" He opens the door, "You're going to be late for scho…" He screams at the sight.

Linka was still in bed, her skin pale as a ghost and red dots all over her face. Lynn Sr. puts his hand on her forehead and says, "Sweetheart, you look terrible! Are you sick?"

Linka covers her mouth as she coughs and weakly answers, "No, no. I'm fine, daddy." She sits up, seeming dizzy, "I better get ready for school."

The Loud father stops his only daughter, "Out of the question, young lady!" He lies her back down and covers her back up, "You just stay in bed and get some rest."

She coughs some more and says, "OK, daddy. I just hope…" She fakes a sneeze, "I get better before Friday."

"Me, too, Princess." He goes to close the door, "You just rest and I'll bring you up some of my famous homemade chicken soup!"

As he closes the door and she was sure he was a good distance away, Linka says, "And the Oscar goes to…." She smiles and shouts, "Me!" She laughs and sighs, "I knew this would work."

Later that day, Linka was talking to Claire on her lip phone, "That's right! He totally thinks I'm sick!"

Claire said, "You're playing a dangerous game here, Linka. What if finds out you're faking?"

"Then I'll just have to make sure he doesn't find out!"

She hears her father coming up the stairs, "Gotta go, Claire!" She quickly hangs up the phone and lies back down.

Lynn Sr. enters, holding a tray with soup and some juice, "Soups on!"

Before he can place it down, however, Charles rushes into the room and jumps up on the bed. He begins to lick at Linka's face, whom protested, "Charles! No! Stop it!"

Lynn Sr. places the tray down and picks up Charles, "Charles, no! Bad dog!" He notices that Linka's face was now clean, apart from a few spots around her face. He glares, "Linka…"

Linka smiles and feigns excitement, "Hooray! Charles's tongue has cured me!"

He puts the dog down and says, "Nice try, young lady. Get dressed. You're going to school." He then smiles, "On the upside, this means we can still go to that dance!"

Lynn Sr. leaves the room, and then Linka frowns, "Dang it."

* * *

As school, Linka was sitting next to Claire in class. She was sulking, propping her head up with her arms. Claire says, "Cheer up, Link. Maybe things won't be so bad."

Linka replies, "That's what I told myself before the jelly-donut-priest-library incident." Claire looked confused by this, to which Linka said, "Don't ask."

Claire asks her, "Why don't you just talk to your dad? Tell him you just don't want to be embarrassed?"

Linka told her, "No way! Tell him his only daughter is embarrassed by him? It would break his heart."

From in front of them, they hear, "Pssst." They see Liah in the front row, looking back to ask, "Sorry to interrupt, girls. Claire, speaking of dads, would yours prefer a corncob pipe or a straw hat for his outfit?"

Claire responds, "Well, a corncob pipe could possibly influence some kid to smoke, so probably the hat."

Linka looked peeved through the entire conversation, but Liah ignored it and said, "Thanks."

Linka said, "Again, Liah? Give me a break!" She then got an idea, "Break? Of course!"

Linka hears Mrs. Johnson, "Linka! No talking in class."

Linka apologizes, "Sorry."

* * *

Back home, Lexx was sitting at a vanity mirror, combing his hair. Linka shows up behind him and asks, "Hey, Lexx. Can you teach me how to fake a broken leg?"

Lexx scoffs and turns around, "Just a leg? Child's play."

Linka responded, "You _are_ a child."

Lexx smirked, " _Exactly_."

Later, Lexx and Linka were at the base of the stairs. Lexx tells her, "Remember, 7 groans of pain. No more, no less."

Linka nods, "Got it." Lexx runs off into the kitchen and Linka clears her throat. She starts to act, "Well, I'm going to go down the stairs now! Me! Linka Loud. Down the very long staircase."

In the kitchen, Lexx says, "Note to self. Get her a writer. Her improv is terrible."

Linka sounds, "WHOOOOA!" She starts to pretend she was falling down the stairs, giving a pained groan, and then another. She did so seven times. Each time, Lexx would hit the kitchen wall, each hit getting softer, as if she was descending the stairs.

After the last groan, she lies on her back, grabbing her leg, "OOOOOOW!"

As she worked up some tears, her father and brothers rush over in a panicked hurry. Loki asked, "Linka, are you ok?!"

Linka grabs her leg and begins to cry in pain, "OOOOW! No! My leg!"

Lexx rushes out and says, "It doesn't look good! She must've fell down the stairs and broke her leg!"

Lynn Sr. kneels to his daughter and asks fearfully, "Linka! Don't worry, sweetie!" He picks up his daughter bridal style and says, "Daddy's here."

She gives a pained groan, "Darn. I guess I'll have to miss the dance, huh?"

"Forget the dance, Linka! This is far more important." He orders, "Boys, find the keys! I need to take your sister to the hospital!"

Linka gulps, "Hospital?"

Lexx frowns and says to himself, "Dang it! I wasn't planning on that!" He gets a quick idea, "Wait, Dad! We don't need a doctor!" He suggests, "Levi can patch up her leg here!"

Linka asks, "He can?" She realizes what Lexx was doing and says, "I mean, of course he can!"

Levi glares, "Hmm. I find these conditions a bit suspicious," He then smiles and pulls out a remote, "But this is a great chance to test my new GauzeBot!"

He pushes a button, causing a robot twice the size of Levi to appear. It had a wheel as its one way to get around and had several arms holding some gauze.

The sight of the wrapping robot made Linka wipe sweat from her brow, "Phew!" She looks over to Lexx, who gives a thumbs up and a wink.

Later on, Linka was lying on the couch, her leg in a cast and propped up by a pillow. She shrugs and tells the audience, "I know, I know. This is low, even for me, but it's for the best!" She relaxes, oblivious to the fact a rat was sneaking about. It crawls up the couch and into Linka's cast. She continues, "Now I can just lie back, relax, and not think about…" A loud bite sound is heard, followed by Linka screamed, "YOWCH!"

After getting bit, Linka hops off the couch and removes the cast with ease. She dumps out the rat, catching it in her hand. Her father and brothers rushed in, Lynn Sr. asking, "What's going in…" He sees his daughter with her cast off, "Here?"

Linka realizes something and says, "Uuuuuh…" In the blink of an eye, she was back on the couch, cast on, still holding the rat. She tried to pretend she was in pain, "Oh, pain! Oh, a-go-nyyyyyyyy!"

Loki glared, "Faking a broken leg? That is literally low, sis, even for you."

Linka frowned, "I know."

Leif grabbed the rat, "Oh, there you are, Bitey! I've been looking everywhere for you!" When she realizes that was her brother's rat, Linka glared at him as Leif walked off, "Who let you out of your cage?"

Linka stood up, "Sorry, everyone."

Levi approached her and said, "No, _I'm_ sorry that I wasted perfectly good gauze!" He pushes a button, causing his robot to approach. It grabs the gauze and pulls, not only unraveling it, but causing Linka to spin like a tornado!

Lynn Sr. says, "Well, I'm not happy about a fake injury," He then smiles, "But I love the new dance, Princess! You'll have to teach me that before Friday!"

As she spins away out of earshot, she yells, "Daaaaaaang iiiiiiiiit!"

* * *

It was finally Friday, and Linka was officially giving up. As she sat on the ground, her back to her deck, she sighed, "It's all over. Come Monday morning, I'll be the laughing stock of the school."

Claire assure her, "Look on the bright side, Linka. As least you still have me and the girls."

Liah's voice calls out, "Hey, Claire!"

Claire smiled, "Speak of the devil!" Claire says, "Hey, Liah! Looking forward to tonight?"

"You know it!" Liah explained, "I got my good dress all clean for it!" She grabs her wrist and squeezes her hand, "My hand hurts from cleaning all the mud off it, but it'll be worth it!"

Linka sighs, "Well, at least _one_ of us is looking forward to it."

Liah approaches her friend and sits down with her, "Ah, buck up, Link! So what if your Pa is a bit embarrassing? It comes with the territory."

Linka said, "Easy for you to say." She sighs, "I know you're trying to help, Liah, but there's no changing my mind." She then got an idea, "Wait a minute." She stands up and smiles, "That's it!"

Liah also stands up and asks, "What's it?"

Claire says, "Liah, don't encourage her."

* * *

At home, Lynn Sr. was ironing a shirt when Linka walks in, "Hi, Dad!"

Lynn Sr. smiles, "Hiya, Princess!" He puts down the iron, "Look!" He holds up the shirt, which had the pattern of a tuxedo on it, "I found my old tuxedo shirt!"

Linka cringed at the sight of the shirt, but put on a positive front, "That's great…" She suggests, "Hey, Dad, I was thinking about the dance. Why wait and go to some lame elementary school dance when we could have fun somewhere else?"

Lynn Sr. laughed, "Good one, Link!" He goes back to ironing his shirt, "There's nowhere else I wanna be."

Linka suggests, "Think about it, Dad! We can go see that new movie you've been dying to see!"

Lynn Sr. answered, "Your mom and I already have tickets to that for tomorrow."

Linka then suggested, "Well, what about that new American-Canadian fusion cuisine restaurant that just opened up? We could go to that!"

Lynn Sr. asked, "You mean the "US-Eh?"? Already went there for lunch today!" This made Linka frown as he continues, "Their Moose Cheeseburger is to die for!"

Linka then excitedly suggests, "Oh, oh! I know! We can go to that cowbell store you like to go to?!"

Lynn Sr. frowned, "Can't. Got banned from there last time I went." He explains, "If you don't want people playing the giant cowbell, you should have a sign, buster!"

Linka frantically suggests, "Alright, then! There's other stuff we can do! Mini-golf! Burpin' Burger! The retirement home to see Pop Pop! I'll even settle for visiting Aunt Ruth!"

Lynn Sr. stopped ironing his shirt as his daughter and asks, "Linka Marie Loud, what's with you lately? First you fake being sick, then fake a broken leg, and now this? It's almost like you don't want to go to that dance at all." Lynn Sr. then realized something, "Wait a second. I know what's going on here."

Linka gulped, feeling she was finally caught. She sighs and says, "I'm sorry, Dad. I just…"

Lynn Sr. holds his hand up to hush his daughter, "Not another word, Linka. I know exactly what you're about to say. You don't want me there so I don't embarrass…" There was a slightly pause for suspense, until Lynn Sr. smiled and finished, "The other dads!"

Linka groveled, "I'm sorry, Daddy! I just can't take the…" She stops once she realized what he had said, "Wait, what?"

Lynn Sr. laughed this off, "Oh, sweetie, you don't have to worry about that! I know you think your old man will make all the other dads look bad, but I'm just going to be my old, normal self."

Linka said to herself, "That's what I'm afraid of."

Lynn Sr. walks his only daughter out of the room, "Now you go and get ready for tonight, OK?"

Linka sighs, "OK."

As she walks off, Lynn Sr. smells something, "What's burning?" He turns around and sees he left iron on, and his shirt was burning! He screams, "MY SHIRT!"

* * *

That evening, the Father/Daughter dance was in full swing. Linka was dressed in an orange dress and her father was dressed in his leather pants and tuxedo shirt, which had an iron burn on it.

Lynn Sr. takes a deep breath and says, "I love the smell of dancing in the evening." He asks his daughter, "Don't you, sweetheart?"

Linka was obviously not happy about this situation, but she humored her father and replied, "Who doesn't?" She looks in the distance and sees her friends hanging around the snack table.

She smiles at this, until Lynn Sr. says, "Alright, Princess! Ready to show everyone why we're called Loud?"

Linka promptly responds, "Totally!" She then hesitantly adds, "Totally, after I go talk to my friends!"

"But…" Lynn Sr. tries to stop her, but she rushes off in a huff. He shrugs, "Eh. I'll just dance until she gets back."

Linka makes a beeline for where her friends were. Claire was in her usual attire, while her other friends were dressed different. Rustee was wearing a white dress like the one they all wore during the "Moving on from Ronnie" episode, and Zara was in a tent dress that was striped exactly like her shirt.

She waves, "Hey, guys!"

Claire says, "Hi, Linka! Nice dress!"

"Thanks." She told them, "You guys looks great! I never thought you would wead a dress, though, Rustee."

Rustee bluntly responded, "I didn't. My dad made me wear it."

Linka asks, "Where's Liah?"

Zara pointed to the dance floor, "She's dancing with Claire's dad."

Sure enough, we see Liah and Howard McBride were dancing together. Howard was in the overalls Liah had found, as well as a straw hat and no shoes, while Liah wore a blue and white checkered gingham dress.

The two were square dancing as Liah says, "Thanks again, Mr. McB!"

"You're welcome, Liah!" He then speaks in a Southern accent, "This sure is one heck of a hoedown, ain't it?"

Liah chuckles, "You said it!"

Claire laughs at this, "Looks like their having fun!" She asks her white-haired friend, "How's it going with _your_ dad?"

Linka looks back and says, "Well…" She sees Lynn Sr. on the dancefloor, who was moving and grooving in a typical dad manner, "About _that_ well." She shrugs, "I guess it could be worse, though."

Almost on cue, Lynn Sr. did the splits, and ripped his pants! He stands back up and chuckles, "Whoops! Guess I gotta lay off the sweets, eh?"

Linka smacked her forehead, "Me and my big mouth." Linka tells her friends, "Well, if you need me, I'll be on damage control."

Claire tells her, "Good luck." As soon as Linka was out of ear shot, Claire said, "5 bucks says she snaps before the end of the night."

Rustee and Zara bluntly agree, "Yep."

Linka approaches her dancing father, "Dad, I…"

Before she could respond, Lynn Sr. grabbed his daughter and began to swing dance with her, mostly against her will. "Isn't this fun, Princess?! This music you kids listen to is on period."

She corrects, "It's _point_ , dad. The music's on point."

"So you agree!" He then throws Linka under his legs, still holding onto her hands. He then launches her in the air, prepared to catch her. On the way down, Linka lands right behind him, face first! "Oh, no!"

Linka stands up, looked dazed from the impact, "No more cookies, grandma. I've got a tummy ache."

Lynn Sr. asks, "Linka, are you okay?! You're not hurt, are you?"

Linka shakes her head rapidly, "Just my pride."

She hears some girls laughing at her, all of whom looked like gender bends of Lincoln's male classmates. The most striking parallel was one who looked like a girl version of Chandler, only with clear skin and long red hair done up in a French braid.

This very girl told the others, "Wow! Talk about embarrassing!"

As they laughed, Linka glared and said, "Dad, can we…" She turns around and doesn't see her dad, "Dad? Where'd you go?"

She sees a group of fathers together, one of which was Harold McBride. Harold was holding a photograph of Claire as a baby, holding a teddy bear, "And this was when Claire got her favorite toy, Sir Grizzly. She used to take that thing everywhere with her. Just like best pals."

Lynn Sr. showed up and sees the picture, "Aaaaw! That reminds me of my little Linka." He pulls out a picture of Linka hold Bun Bun, "I remember when we first gave Linka her Bun Bun. She still sleeps with it."

Linka whines, "Daaaaad!"

A random girl overhears this and asks Linka, "You still sleep with a stuffed rabbit?" This only made more girls laugh at her.

Her friends take notice of this and Claire says, "Uh-oh. This isn't good."

He then pulls out another picture, "Oh! I thought I left this one at home!" He flashes the picture toward Linka, showing it to everyone there, "It's from the first time you ever used the potty!" The picture showed the same picture shown in "Anti-Social", only with a toddler Linka in place of Lincoln.

Linka's whole face with red from embarrassment, and she squeaks out a response, "Oh, no…"

This made all the girls laugh, their mocking laughing echoing in Linka's ears. Finally, the middle Loud had enough. Her eyes narrow, her nostrils flared, and she grits her teeth as flames erupt in her eyes.

She shouts, "THAT'S IT!" Linka marches over and grabs her father by the wrist, saying through her teeth, "Dad… I'd like to have a word with you."

Lynn Sr. was oblivious to her anger and says, "Just a second, Princess." He uses his left hand to pull out his cowbell, "I was just about to…" Before he could finish, Linka dragged her father out of the gym.

Lynn Sr. could sense something was wrong and asks, "What's wrong, Linka?"

Linka snaps, "What's wrong!? You drag me to this stupid dance, wear a shirt with an iron burn on it, split your stupid leather pants, and embarrass me in front of the entire Fifth Grade, and you ask me what's wrong?!"

Lynn Sr. was hurt by this and tried to calm her down, "Now, now, Princess. I was just…"

Linka interrupts, "No! Don't you get it? I'm sick of you always embarrassing me!" Lynn Sr. gasps, a sad look upon his face. However, Linka didn't let up there, "All week, I've been trying to keep you from finding out about or going to this dance, so you would make me a laughingstock _again_! Now, thanks to you, my social life is over!"

Lynn Sr. was silent for a moment, and as sad music begins to play, he says, "I… I'm sorry, Linka." He turns around, fighting back his tears, "All I wanted to do is spend time with you, like we used to."

Linka sees her father's reaction and instantly regrets what she said, "Dad, I…"

"No, no. It's fine." He sniffles, "If you need me, I'll be in the car until you're ready to go." He adds, "Unless you're too embarrassed to be seen riding with me, in which case, I'll see you at home."

As he walks away, Linka looks to the ground and says, "What have I done?"

A familiar Southern voice replies, "You mean besides the fact you just broke your Pa's heart?"

Linka turns around and sees Liah standing right behind her, "Liah? How long have you…"

Liah interrupts, "The whole time. Linka, I didn't want to do this to ya, but…" Liah leads Linka by the hand back into the gym, "Take a good look, Link. What do ya see?"

Linka looks around and says, "I see all the girls in our grade and their dads."

Liah shook her head, "Uh-uh. Look _closer_."

She looks over and sees Rustee and her father. Rustee had something on her cheek and her father tells her, "Rustee, sweetie, you've got something on your cheek."

He pulls out a handkerchief and licks it, cleaning her cheek as Rustee tries to pull away, "EW! Dad, gross!"

Chandler, on the other hand, was on her father's shoulders. Said father, of course, was having some trouble keeping his balance.

One of the girls said, "Wow, Chandler! You were right, your dad _is_ strong!"

"Told you!" Chandler gloated, "How many dads do you know who can…" This was short lived, as her father was starting to stumble about, "Dad, careful! You're going toOOOOOO!"

Chandler and her father fell backward, landing on the snack table! This caused the punch bowl to fly up into the air and land on Chandler's head, covering her in punch! She shouts, "MY HAIR!"

The punch had spilled onto the floor and the puddle stretched out a bit. Nearby, Claire and Harold were dancing when Harold spun his little girl. However, as she spun away, she went towards the puddle and slipped, "WHOA!"

As she lands on her back, Harold gasps and runs over to her, "CLAIRE! Are you okay?"

Claire stands up and rubs her back, "Well, besides a sprained back and punch-stained dress, I'm OK."

Rustee joked, "Could be worse! You could have punch-stained hair like Chandler!"

Chandler blushed as the other girls and their dads laughed at this, "This is _so_ embarrassing!"

Liah explained, "See what I mean? You ain't the only one who gets embarrassed by their pa, Link. All girls do." She frowns, "Goodness knows I wish _my_ pa were around to embarrass me." She looks to Howard and apologizes, "No offense, Mr. McBride."

Howard replies, "None taken!"

Linka looks back at the group as they laugh heartily, a sullen look upon her face, "And those dads did what they did to make their girls happy. To show them they care." Continues in a quiet voice, "Like my dad does".

Suddenly, she began to flashback to when she was 5 years old.

* * *

 _Linka, who was dressed in a princess outfit, was holding a tea party in the living room. We see her and some of her stuffed animals, one of which was Bun Bun, sitting down at a small table as she asks, "Would you like some more tea, Bun Bun?"_

 _She speaks in a deeper voice, "Yes, please!" She pours the imaginary tea and asks, "More tea, Mrs. Nesbitt?"_

 _Lynn Sr. was also sitting down, wearing a dress like the one in "Home of the Fave". He holds up his cup and answers, "I'd love some more! Thank you!"_

* * *

 _Lynn Sr. was reading a book to his daughter, who was in bed, "And they all lived happily ever after." He closes the book, "The end."_

 _As her father tucks her in, little Linka says, "Goodnight, daddy!"_

 _Lynn Sr. replies, "Goodnight, Linky." He gives his daughter a tender kiss upon her forehead._

* * *

 _Linka was in Lynn Sr.'s room, tears in her eyes and cuddling Bun Bun, "A-and then, one of the kids at school said I looked like a granny!" She tosses Bun Bun on the bed and gently tugs her hair, "I hate my stupid, ugly hair!"_

 _Lynn Sr. comforts his daughter, "There, there, sweetie. You know what? I think you've got the prettiest hair in the world!"_

 _Linka sniffles, "Really?"_

" _Of course! It's what makes you special. Anyone's hair can be blonde, brown, black, or even red; but you? You've got beautiful white hair." Linka stopped tearing up, "It's what makes you unique, like a snowflake."_

 _Linka smiles, "Really?"_

" _Really." Lynn Sr. wipes away the last tear on her face, "You've got beautiful snow-white hair. Never let anyone tell you otherwise… my little Snow White."_

 _Linka's eyes lit up at the nickname and she hugs her daddy around the neck, "I love you, daddy!"_

 _Lynn Sr. returned the hug and smiled, "I love you, too… Princess."_

* * *

Back in the present, Linka was tearing up, but her face changes back to normal and she told Liah, "I'll be right back!"

The middle Loud rushed outside towards Vanzilla, where she sees her father bawling his eyes out. She enters the car on the passenger side and asks, "Dad?"

Lynn Sr. looks up to see his daughter, which makes him stop crying on the spot, "Linka?"

Linka scratches the back of her head, "Dad, I just wanted to say… I'm sorry for what I said back there."

Lynn Sr. told her, "It's okay, Linka. Look, I know your old man can be a bit… goofy at times, but I'm not trying to embarrass you on purpose."

"I know." She explains, "But that doesn't excuse what I did. I should have just talked to you about all of this instead of lying to you and getting mad. I mean, sure, you are a little embarrassing, but there's a lot of great things about you: You're a loving father, a great cook, you know how to make people laugh, you cheer me up whenever I'm having a bad day. I just wish I could've realized that sooner." She looks down, "I can understand if you hate me now."

"Hate you?" Lynn Sr. was shocked at the very idea of her thinking that, "Linka, that's silly!" Lynn Sr. placed a hand on her shoulder, "I could never hate you. You're my only daughter, my baby girl, and I'll always love you."

Linka heard this and brought her head up. She looked like she was about to cry, complete with a quivering lip, but soon cheered up and hugged her father, "I love you, daddy."

Lynn Sr. returns the hug, tearing up, "I love you, too…" He says as his voice cracks, "Princess."

They broke the hug and Linka asks, "So, wanna go back inside?"

Lynn Sr. perked up, "I thought you'd never ask!"

The next day, Lynn Sr. and Linka were on the couch looking at some pictures, which were on Linka's phone, of the prior night. Linka laughed, "OMGosh! Last night was so much fun!"

"You said it, Princess!" Lynn Sr. asked her, "Did you hear that crowd after my cowbell solo?"

Linka laughed, "I thought they'd never stop laughing at you!"

Lynn Sr. told her, "It was a lot of fun, but I've learned my lesson. From now on, I'll try to dial back the goofiness."

Linka told him, "Dial it back? After last night? Not a chance!" She assures her father, "You don't have to change for me, Dad. I love you just the way you are."

Lynn Sr. smiled, "Thanks, Linky."

Linka bluntly told him, "Speaking of which, you forgot to put pants on."

Lynn Sr. realized he was sitting around in his normal attire, minus pants, "Whoops! I thought it was kind of drafty today."

As he rushes off in a cloud of smoke, Linka smiles and laughs, telling the viewer, "That's my dad!"

 **As always, thank you to my co-writer, DiamondDollDark! You helped me so much through this chapter, correcting my NUMEROUS typos and helping me crack this tough nut of a story. Here's to continuing to work with you in the future!**

 **Also, thank you to everyone for getting me to 10K views! I'm so going to approach 20K, but don't really plan to writing anything in celebration (mostly because this already took so long XD), but I hope see you guys for some upcoming stories, which I hope to put Chandler in a more prominent role, am April Fool's story, and something special for the 1-year anniversary! Let's just say it's a popular topic to write about for Linka, but it'll be treated like a half-hour special and be the longest chapter yet. Good thing I've got three months to work on that.**

 **Until next time, thank you all once again, and here's to more chapters in the future!**


	8. No Fooling?

In the Loud House, we see the entire family, excluding Lane, in Loki and Loni's room. Everyone was in their pajamas, as if they were about to go to bed. The parents had pajamas based on their inverted colors, Loki wore a white wife beater and boxer shorts, Loni wearing seafoam green pajamas, Luke wearing his night shirt and boxers, Lynn was in his jersey, Linka wore an orange nightgown, Lars had a white shirt and black-and-white striped pants, Leif in a dark grey shirt and galoshes for some reason, Lexx in a fuzzy pink robe and fuzzy bunny slippers, Levi in green pajamas, and Leon in a pair of lavender footie pajamas.

However, Loki bangs his shoe on his dress like a gavel, "I hereby call this Secret Family Meeting to order! Linka Loud has the floor!"

Linka stands up, "Thank you, Loki!" She stands in the middle of the room and says, "OK, guys. You all know tomorrow is April Fools Day. As we all know, after last year's doppelgänger incident, Lane said he'd cut back on the pranks." She gets a serious look on her face, "However, I'm not so sure he can be trusted."

Lynn talked up, "Linka's right! We all know Lane can't be trusted on April Fools Day! He's crazy!"

Lynn Sr. told them, "Now, kids, I know how you feel. I'm worried, too, but I believe Lane."

Rita glared at her husband, "You would say that, Mr. No-Pranks-For-A-Decade!" Rita frowns, "Oh, who am I kidding? I would've done the same. Sorry, honey."

Linka interrupted, "Focus! I know he promised us he'd stop, but I still think it's best we stay alert tomorrow."

Loki nods, "Agreed. I literally can't take another year of Lane's psycho pranks; like the "Water Bed" prank!"

 _Loki was asleep in his bed, snoring peacefully. He gives a snort and wakes up. As his eyes adjust, he looks shocked. He sits up and sees that his bed is floating in the middle of a lake. He shouts, "LAAAAAAAAAAAANE!"_

Lexx adds, "Or the "Killer Toys" prank."

 _At what appeared to be Lexx and Leif's birthday party, the twins open a gift and see two Ace Savvy action figures._

 _Leif beams, "New Ace Savvy action figures?!"_

 _Both boy's high-five, "Yes!"_

 _Lexx looks to Lane, "Thanks, Lane!"_

 _Lane says, "No prob, bros!" As the twins looks to their toys, he says to himself, "And now we wait."_

 _Months later, Leif and Lexx barge out of their room, screaming their heads off. Both action figures are shown walking away when one speaks, "Where are you kids going!?"_

 _Lane shows up, wearing a headset and holding a remote control, and he speaks. The other toy repeats what Lane is saying, "Yeah! We're just_ toying _with you!" Lane then gave an evil laugh._

Linka adds, "And I don't need to remind anyone of the "Rose Red" prank." She whines, "It took me _months_ to get that hair dye out!" She proposed, "So, any ideas on what to do tomorrow?"

Everyone but her mom raised their hand. Linka added, "That doesn't involve beating the snot out of him." All of her brothers put their arms down, but then she tells her father, "Or faking comas."

Lynn Sr. shrugged and asked, "Am I the only one thinking outside the box?"

Then a familiar voice chimed in, "Better than being out of your mind!" Everyone looked to see Lane standing at the doorway, laughing at his joke, "But seriously, what's going on here?"

Linka sighs and explains, "OK, Lane. We were holding a family meeting to discuss April Fools, and…"

Lane interrupted, "Is that all? Guys, you have nothing to worry about! I don't have anything planned for tomorrow!"

Lexx stood up, pointing at the comedian, and shouts, "LIES!"

Luke added, "You can't fool us, dude."

Loki finished, "How do we know this isn't part of your plan to catch us off guard?!"

Lane shook his head, "That hurts, bro." Lane asks, "Don't you guys remember how last year turned out? I even made that big speech about cutting back on pranking all of you. Knowing that my own family doesn't believe me," He turns away, clasping his chest, "It hurts me deep down inside."

The family suddenly felt guilty, so Linka speaks up, "You're right, Lane." She walks over and tells her brother, "I guess we all get a little on the edge this time of year." She looks to her family, "Come on, you guys. For once, what do you say we give Lane the benefit of the doubt?"

Her family begrudgingly talked it over and Loki nodded, "Agreed. Lane, if you can keep your promise, we'll get off your back." Just as he's about to bang the shoe, he adds, "But the moment you spring a prank on us…" He makes a cutthroat motion and bangs the shoe, "Meeting adjourned!"

As everyone took off to their rooms, Luke and Lane enter theirs, with the funny Loud saying to his family, "Goodnight, everybody!"

As Luke gets into the top bunk, he asks, "You serious about what you said, dude?"

Lane climbs into his bunk, "Of course! You guys have nothing to worry about tomorrow!"

Luke lies back, "Alright, then." As the two of them prepared to sleep, Luke said to himself, "I'll just sleep with one eye open tonight, just to be safe."

The next morning, Linka walks out of her bedroom, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She then looks around to make sure there weren't any surprise pranks coming her way. Her siblings, sans Lane, all walk out of their rooms, Loni asking, "Any pranks yet?"

Linka shook her head, "All clear."

The Loud's slowly make their way for the bathroom. Linka opens the and looks around, not seeing anything. She checks the toilet, the sink, and the shower, even all the soaps, shampoo, conditioner and shaving cream.

Leif asks, "Well?"

Linka hesitates, but still replies, "We're all good!"

Everyone took a deep breath and sighed. Loki tells his siblings, "We're not out of the woods yet, though. We've literally got the whole house to cover."

Linka says, "Loki's right! You guys check the rest of the house while I take a nice long bubble bath."

As she slammed the door, they all say, "Right!" As they all start to walk off, they then realize, "HEY!"

Lynn tries to open the door, but found it's locked! Linka shouts through the door, "April Fools, suckers!"

At Claire's house, Linka and Claire were doing their nails and talking, Claire asking, "So, Lane's actually not going to prank you guys?"

Linka smiles, "Nope! Made it this far all day without so much as a pie to the face, a whoopie cushion under my tushy, or even some giant complicated super genius prank!"

Claire smiles back, "Wow! That's great!" As she prepares to paint her nails, there is a knock on the door. Claire stands up, "Huh. I wonder who that could be?"

Linka stands up, "I'll get it!" She opens the door and for a moment, she was speechless.

Right on the doorstep of the McBride house was Linka and Claire's favorite boy band, Boyz Will Be Boyz!

One of the boys asks, "Hi! Is this the McBride residence?"

Linka merely responded, "Ba… ba… ba…"

Claire walks up and asks, "What's the matter, Link…" She cut herself off as she gasped.

Linka and Claire both snap out of their starstruck demeanor and says, "Boyz Will Be Boyz!?" They both scream at the top of their lungs with girlish joy.

The same boy asks, "Is one of you Claire McBride?"

Claire jumps up and down excitedly, "Me, me! I'm Claire McBride!"

"Well, congratulations! You're the lucky winner in our "Meet the Boyz" contest! You and your friends will get to spend the day with us, and get backstage to this Friday's concert!"

Linka beamed, "I can't believe it! I totally forgot about the con…" She trailed off and got suspicious, "Wait a minute." She shouts at the boys, "Nice try, whoever you are! I'm not falling for it!"

This confused the boys and Claire, who asked, "Linka, what are you talking about?"

"Don't you get it, Claire?! These guys are not the real Boyz! It's one of Lane's pranks!"

"Huh?"

Linka points out, "Isn't it a bit of a coincidence that our favorite boyband would show up at your doorstep on April Fool's Day?!"

Claire glares, "Hey, you're right!" She points at them, "Get them!"

Suddenly, Claire and Linka attacked the group of males, both of them trying to pull off the faces of the poor lads.

Linka says, "Come on, Lane! Take off the mask and quit pranking us!"

Fortunately, the boys manage to get the girls off of them, one of them saying, "Our manager was right! Our fans _are_ insane!"

Another says, "Let's get out of here!"

As they rush off, Linka and Claire dust themselves off. Linka says, "OK, so that wasn't Lane in disguise, but I know this is his doing!"

Claire suggested, "You go home, Linka. I'll call you if anymore of Lane's pranks come my way!"

"Don't worry, Claire. I'll get him back! No one pranks my bestie and gets away with it!"

As the white haired Loud rushed off, Claire went inside and locks the door, peering out the blinds to wait for another prank.

In the park, Luke was hanging out with Sam. Both boys were strumming their guitars as Sam asked, "So, I guess you and your fam are off the hook, eh, Luke?"

"You know it, dude!" He looks at the blonde rocker, "Now I can just relax and enjoy this beautiful…"

Sam cuts him off, "Mick Swagger!?"

Luke responds, "Well, I'd say Mick is more handsome than beautiful, but…"

"No, dude!" Sam points behind him, "Look!"

Luke turns around, and standing there was Mick Swagger himself, carrying a guitar case! Mick waves, "Morning, boys! Either of you blokes Luke Loud?"

Luke merely responded, "Ba… ba… ba…" This went on for a few seconds until Sam slapped Luke, making him snap out of it and scream, "MICK SWAGGER!"

Luke stands up and introduces himself, "Mr. Swagger!" He forcefully grasps Mick's hand, "It's so great to meet you! Well, officially." He introduces, "I'm Luke, and this is Sam, my boyfriend."

Sam waves, "Hi."

Mick said to the young rocker, "Listen, lad, I'll get right to the point. I'm not going to be rocking forever, so I've decided to seek out the best young talent I've ever seen and give them a little piece of rock history." Mick opens the guitar case and shows off the guitar inside. "This here guitar was my very first one. I wouldn't be the rocker I am today with this little beauty. And now, I'd like you to have it."

Luke's eyes lit up as he gazed at the guitar, and even saw that Mick had autographed it. Luke shed a tear of joy and said, "Mr. Swagger, this is the most…" Then Luke got suspicious, "Wait a minute. Nice try, dude! I know what you're trying to pull!"

Mick asked, "What are you on about, lad?"

"Give it up, Lane!" Luke grabs at Mick's hair, yanking at it, "Take off the mask and quit mocking me!"

As Mick yelled in pain, Sam rushed over and asked, "LUKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Luke answered, "What do you think!? I'm trying to rip this mask off of Lane!"

After a few seconds, Mick broke free and grabbed the guitar case, "Forget this! I'm out of here!"

As Luke dusted himself off, Sam told him, "I guess that really _was_ Mick Swagger."

Luke responded, "Or a Mick Swagger impersonator!" Luke packs up his guitar, "Sorry, Sam! It's not safe today! Go home and lock yourself in your room!" As Sam just looks on in confusion, Luke then shouts, "You won't get me this time, Lane; WE WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN!"

Luke then ran off, leaving Sam to just shrug his shoulders.

Back at the Loud House, all of the other Loud's were standing in the living room, talking unintelligibly until Linka gave a loud whistle, calming everyone down. She asks, "OK, so what exactly did Lane do again?"

Luke replied, "He pretended to be Mick Swagger, or he hired an impersonator, and then he tried to give me "Mick's first guitar"."

Loni said, "That also happened with me, but this famous fashion designer wanted to hire me to work in Paris!"

Lexx added, "Me, too, but with this bigshot Broadway director." Lexx asked, "Why would he be in Royal Woods, much less offer me a lead role out of the blue!?"

Lynn Sr. said, "A "celebrity chef" wanted to turn my restaurant into a franchise!"

Rita added, "My "favorite writer" wanted to publish my book!"

Levi added, "I was approached by someone from NASA saying they found possible evidence of life on another planet and needed my expertise. Fortunately, I saw through Lane's tomfoolery in a heartbeat. Does he think I'm some kind of fool?"

Lynn vents, "I knew that brace-faced jerk was up to no good!"

Linka shook her head, "I can't believe I trusted him!"

Lynn Sr. comforted his daughter, "Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetheart. We _all_ fell for it!"

Loki nodded, "At least we're literally safe here, in our own house!"

Everyone agreed with this, until Linka thought, "Unless…"

Lars finished her sentence, "This was all a part of his plan?"

Everyone gasped, to which Linka responded, "Of course! Why would Lane go through the trouble of setting up such predictable plans? He knows we're too smart for that, no matter how convincing those disguises were!"

Loki said, "He probably has some giant prank set up here, just waiting to get us!"

Loni was visibly nervous and gave out a girlish scream, "WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!"

As he rushes for the door, Lynn tackles him, "Loni, don't!" He stands up, and Loni stood up after him, "I bet he's got some backup prank in case we get the idea to run away!"

Lynn Sr. panics, "It's no use! We're trapped like rats!"

Leif shakes his head, "And not in a good way!"

Rita tries to calm everyone down, "Now, everyone, just calm down! We just need to think of something." She looks to her daughter, "Linka, think of something!"

Linka was shaking like a leaf, "I can't! I'm too scared to think!" She grabs Lexx by the collar of his cape and shakes him, "Lexx, you're an acting geek! THINK OF SOMETHING THEY WOULD DO IN THE MOVIES!"

Suddenly, Lexx removed one of his gloves and slaps Linka! This caused her to let go and grab her cheek in shock. He said, "What? That's what they do in the movies."

Linka then smiled, "I've got it!" Everyone smiles at hearing this, "Look, I'm sure that prank is around here somewhere, but if we just keep our wits about us, we can find it!" She grins, "I've got an idea!"

Some time later, the family were all standing back to back with one another, walking slowly towards the kitchen. Linka explains, "OK, here's the plan. We check every room in the house, and since we're all standing back to back, we won't catch any surprises."

Everyone says in unison, "Right!"

They walk towards the fridge, and Lynn Sr. goes to open it. The group quickly sidesteps as the door swings open. However, nothing happens, making all of them sigh in relief.

Linka nods, "Good job, but we're just getting started."

They then walk towards the oven and Loki opens it, all of them side stepping again. Just like the fridge, nothing happens. After this, they keep searching the house. From the living and dining rooms, to the parent's bedroom, the attic, the bathroom, and every bedroom besides Luke and Lane's. After checking Linka's bedroom, they move on to Levi and Leon's bedroom.

As the group walks in, Levi explains, "Not to worry. By my calculations, the odds of Lane having a prank set up in here are well in our favor."

"Poo poo!"

Everyone turns to the crib, seeing Leon standing there and giggling. This, however, made the Loud's all tense up.

Lynn Sr. said, "He didn't."

Rita said, "He wouldn't."

Linka said, "Well, someone has to check."

However, everyone but Linka puts their finger to their nose and shouts, "Dibs, not it!"

Linka frowned, "Oh, fine!" Linka approaches her baby brother and gulps.

"Inka! Inka!" Leon put his arms forward, wanting his big sister to pick him up.

Linka slowly and nervously extends her arms, forcing a smile, "Hi, Leon! You want your big sis to hold you?"

Her hands shaking, clammy, and covered in sweat, Linka grabs the baby and proceeds to pick him up out of the crib. A few seconds passed, and nothing happened. Leon and Linka shared an awkward stare during that time, and the family watched on in terror.

Leon breaks the silent by hugging his sister around her neck, "Inka."

They all gave a deep sigh of relief, until there was a noise and everyone but Linka freaked out.

Lynn Sr. cried out, "HIT THE DIRT, MEN!"

As everyone ducked and covered, Linka turned to them and said, "Relax, guys! Leon just needs to be changed."

"Poo poo!" Leon giggles with a foul stench filling the air.

A few minutes later, the family leaves Leon and Levi's room and walks towards Luke and Lane's room.

As the family peered at the door, they all collectively gulp. Linka says, "This is the only place we haven't looked, yet."

Lynn Sr. says, "If there's a prank, it's sure to be behind that door!"

Rita orders, "Luke, open the door!"

Luke exclaims, "Me?! No way, dudes!"

Loki reminds, "Come on, man! It's _your_ room! You'd know the best place for Lane to put a prank!"

Luke thinks for a second, and then nods, "You're right." He slowly reaches for the doorknob, his heart beating like crazy. He slowly turns the knob. Biting his lower lip, he swung open the door!

The family ducks out of the way, but once again, nothing happens. They stand up and enter the room. Once inside, Linka tells them, "OK. Fall out and search the area. We're bound to find it."

The family look all over the room, looking inside, behind, beneath, and on top of everything!

When it seemed like there was nothing in the room, everyone was relieved. That is, until Lexx let out a huge gasp! His mouth hung wide open, his eyes set on something.

Leif asks, "Lexx? You OK, bro?"

Everyone looks to Lexx and Rita asks, "Lexx? What is it, sweetie?!"

Lexx whispered, "I see it."

Lynn Sr. asks, "What!? Where is it, son?!"

Lexx points straight ahead, "Right there!"

Everyone looked at what he was pointing at, but all they saw was Lane's pet rabbit, Gary. Confused by this, Luke asks, "What? Behind the rabbit?"

Lexx replied, "It _is_ the rabbit!"

Linka gasped, "You're right!" She glares at Gary, "Hide in plain sight! It's textbook!"

Lars asked, "So, what now?"

Linka turns to Leif, "Leif, you're good with animals. Why don't you grab him?"

Leif gulped, "O-OK." Leif slowly moves over to Gary, doing his best to stay calm.

As the messy Loud goes to grab the bunny, Gary turns to see Leif. In an act of desperation, Leif lunges for the rabbit, only for Gary to hop away.

Lynn Sr. shouts, "GET THAT RABBIT!"

The Loud's begin to chase Gary all over the house, doing their best to grab at the lapin, but to no avail! Eventually, they all seem to be out of breath.

Lynn complains, "It's no use! We'll never catch him!"

Linka then gets the bright idea, "Wait! Maybe we're going about this all wrong!" She tells her family, "To trap a rabbit, we have to think like a rabbit."

Leif smiles, "Oh, yeah! What's one thing a rabbit can't resist?"

Loni answered, "Tricking hunters and ducks?"

Leif agrees, "Well, there's that, but I was thinking…"

In the middle of the living room, there was a lone carrot underneath a typical rabbit trap: A box held up by a ruler, said ruler having a piece of string tied around it. From behind the couch, the family watches carefully, waiting for Gary to hop toward it. Leif was holding the string, and told the family, "Any second now."

Just then, Gary starts to slowly hop towards the carrot. After giving it a few sniffs, he jumps underneath the box and proceeds to munch upon the carrot. In that moment, Leif pulls the string, and the box fell, trapping Gary!

Linka cheered, "We caught him!"

The family cheer and dance in victory, until Linka gasped, "Wait!"

Rita asked, "What is it, Linka?"

Linka explains, "This seems way too easy! If Gary is the prank, why would Lane make him so easy to catch?!"

Suddenly, they hear animal noises and see the other pets around the box. Charles and Cliff were scrapping at the box, Geo was running his little ball into it, and Walt was pecking at it.

They all gasped, with Linka saying, "Of course! Lane loves Gary too much to turn him into a prank!" She glares at the animals, "As for them…"

Without even another word, the Loud's go after the pets, chasing them all over the house! However, unlike Gary, this proved to be a bad idea, as well as a messy one. As they chased the animals, they bumped over various objects such as dishes, the trash, personal belongings. They tore up all of the furniture in the haste of the chase. Charles even escaped being chased by Loki by running out his doggy door! Loki stopped and stomped his foot, only for Charles to rush back in. His paws were all muddy, causing him to track muddy paw prints all over the house!

After a while, the four animals bumped into one another, and were eventually cornered by the Loud's! Linka grins, "Game over."

As she went to reach for them, Lynn shouts, "WAIT! I think I just had…" He snaps his fingers, "What do you call it when you realize something?"

Levi asked, "A realization? A discovery? An epiphany?"

Lynn hesitates to answer, "Sure, that. Why does Linka keep telling us what is or isn't a prank?"

Everyone was confused, "Huh?"

Linka asked, "What are you talking about, Lynn?"

Lynn accused, "Don't play dumb! You're working for Lane, aren't you?!"

Linka gasped, "Me!?"

Lexx glares, "Hey, yeah! You're the one who told us to trust Lane in the first place!"

Loki added, "And pranked us this morning!"

Luke added, "And were the first one to tell us about Lane's pranks!"

Rita scolded, "I can't believe it! My own daughter! I'd expect this from your father, but not you!"

Lynn Sr. agreed, "Yeah!" He then realized what Rita had said, "Hey!"

Linka glares back, "Oh, yeah? How do I know it's not one of you?!" She points to Lynn, "Maybe _you're_ just trying to pass the buck!"

Lynn says, "I have no idea what that means, but I know _I'm_ not working for him!"

Loki accuses, "What about Luke?! He and Lane share a room!"

Luke accuses, "But Lars has more in common with him!"

Lars accuses, "Well, how do we know _Mom_ isn't working for him?"

Lexx shouts, "Hey, yeah!"

Leif explains, "He's already used Dad, so Mom would be the obvious choice!"

Rita defends herself, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I would never do that!"

Lynn Sr. glares, "You expect us to believe that?!"

Rita glares back, "Well, maybe _you're_ working for him again! He probably chose you again so we wouldn't suspect a thing!"

This made the family start arguing among one another, while Linka got an idea. As they fought, she tip-toes towards the stairs. As she begins to walk up them, the family turn and they all ask, "Where are _you_ going?!"

Linka screams and rushes upstairs, with her family following behind her. She runs into Luke and Lane's room, and the rest of the Loud's follow in! They gasp in horror as they see Linka holding a seltzer bottle full of water!

Linka warns, "Stay back! It all makes sense now! _All of you_ are working for Lane!"

Loki takes a step forward, trying to calm his little sister down, "Take it easy, Linka." She sprays the bottle, making Loki scream and jump into his father's arms, narrowly avoiding getting sprayed.

Linka shouts, "Stay back! You're not pranking me!"

Luke accused, "Or maybe you're just pretending to be scared so you'll have an excuse to prank us!"

Loni accused, "Or maybe the butler did it!"

Luke reminded Loni, "Uh, we don't _have_ a butler, dude."

"Oh, right!"

Suddenly, Loki grabbed a nearby spring-loaded boxing glove and held it up, "Drop it, Linka!"

Linka holds up the bottle in defense, ready to spray her brother, "Stay back, Loki! I'm not afraid to use this!"

He slowly inches towards his sister, "Now, Linka. Just calm down. Drop the bottle and nobody gets hurt."

Linka panicked and sprayed the bottle, but Loki ducked out of the way, which caused the water to spray their own mother! Linka gasps, "Uh… Oh."

Rita looked at how drenched she was and frowns, "Linka Marie…"

Linka hid the bottle behind her back and chuckled nervously, "It was an accident?"

Rita picked up a rubber chicken off the ground and tossed it, aiming for Linka! However, Loki stood back up and asked, "Is it over?" He was then hit in the back of the head with the chicken!

Rita gasped, "Loki! I'm sorry! That was meant for your sister!"

Loki turns around and points the boxing glove at his mother, "Well _this_ is literally all yours, Mommy!"

He unleashed the boxing glove, only for Rita to duck, causing Luke to get hit by it, sending him flying into the wall! Loki was surprised by this, but Luke merely gritted his teeth and growled.

Then, Lynn suddenly shouted, "PRANK WAAAAAAR!"

In a flurry of pranks and gags, the Loud family started to chase one another all around the house, pranking each other indiscriminately. From boxing gloves, rubber chickens, and pies to the face, to being pushed onto whoopie cushions, to slipping on banana peels, and everything in between.

This had gone on for some time, until it became the evening. The house was in shambles, and everyone looked a mess from being pranked. They were all on the ground, moaning and groaning from the pain of pranking each other.

Linka stands up and rubs her head, "Ow! Man, that boxing glove really _hurts_!"

Lexx stood up and rubbed his behind, "Try getting pushed onto a whoopie cushion 50 times!" He cracks his back, " _No_ lumbar support."

The family had all gotten up and dusted themselves off, only to hear a voice asking, "What happened here!?"

Everyone turns to see Lane standing at the front door, so they all pointed and screamed, "YOU!"

Lane pointed to himself and asked, "Me?"

Linka marches over to her brother, "This is all _your_ fault!"

Lane was confused, "What did _I_ do?!"

Lynn Sr. barked, "Don't play innocent, little Mister!"

Loki told Lane, "We've literally been waiting all day for you to prank us! Trying to prank us with celebrity impersonators, making us paranoid about any hidden pranks, tricking us into thinking one of the animals or one of _us_ was working for you!"

Rita accused, "You even made us think you booby trapped your own baby brother!"

Linka ordered, "Lane, if you're going to prank us, just do it! Do it, so we can get back to fearing you on April Fool's Day like always!"

Lane frowned and sighed, "Guys, I have a confession to make. I _have_ been pulling pranks all day." Everyone started to give accusatory comments, until Lane said, "Let me finish. I've been pulling pranks all day… just not on you guys."

Everyone asked in a confused tone, "Huh!?"

Lane explained, "I promised you guys I wouldn't prank you, so I've been spending the day pranking my friends." He pulls out a video camera and gives it to the family, "See?"

The family starts to watch the video on the camera.

 _Prank #1_

 _Lane was sitting by himself at a table in Gus's, with Mrs. Coconuts on the table. A marionette puppet was beside her, which looked like a stereotypical Southern gentleman with red hair and a matching mustache. Lane pulled out a whoopie cushion and placed it on the seat opposite of him. He stifles a laugh as his crush, Betty, comes to the table._

 _She tells Lane, "Sorry that took so long."_

 _As she sat down, the whoopie cushion farted, which made Betty blush bright red. In her embarrassed state, she talks through her puppet, which gives a gasp, "Elizabeth!"_

 _Betty explained, "It wasn't me, Mr. Apple Blossom! Honest!" She then reaches under herself and pulls out the whoopie cushion._

 _Lane, speaking through Mrs. Coconuts, joked, "I_ gas _you should've been in there longer, young lady!"_

 _Lane lets out a laugh, "April Fools!" As he laughs, Betty glares, but then lets out a laugh of her own._

 _Prank #2_

 _The video changes to show Lane with his clown friend, Chuckles. He looked like a Genderbent version of Giggles, minus the hair._ _While Chuckles was filling up his whoopie cushions, Lane pulls out a bucket of fried chicken, only to place a rubber chicken inside of it._

 _Lane walks over to Chuckles, "Hey, Chuckles! You've been filling those up for quite some time now." He presents the bucket of chicken to his friend, "Why not take a break?"_

 _Chuckles puts down the cushion he finished refilling and smiles, "Wow! Thanks, Lane!" He pulls out a piece and tries to take a bite, unaware for a split second that the chicken wasn't real!_

 _Lane joked, "I thought that chicken looked a bit_ rubbery _, Chuck!" Lane laughed, "April Fools!"_

 _Prank #3_

 _Once more, the video changes. This time, Lane knocks on a door. As the door swings open, there stood Mannie. He was the Genderbent version of Maggie, and was even dressed similarly. He asks, "What do you want, Lane?"_

 _Lane threw a pie right in his face, and jokes, "I thought you were feeling_ emo- _tional, so I made you a pie!" He laughs, "April Fools!"_

 _Mannie couldn't care less, "Whatever." Mannie then slams the door in Lane's face._

 _Prank #4_

 _The video changes one last time, showing all three of Lane's friends standing in the woods. Betty asked, "Where's Lane? He should've been here by now!"_

 _Mannie griped, "He better have a good reason for dragging us all the way out here."_

 _Unbeknownst to them, there was an anvil, a safe, and a piano dangling just above them! Lane was hiding in the bushes, looking quite evil. He gives an evil laugh as he pulls out a pair of scissors!_

The entire family gasped, but Lane assures them, "Wait for it…"

 _Lane cuts the rope, but instead of dropping, the bottom of the anvil, the door of the safe, and the top of the piano all opened up! Out of each of these openings, a giant glob of chocolate pudding rained down upon his victims, burying them until all of them dug their way out!_

 _As they all stood there, covered head to toe in pudding, Lane pops out of his hiding place and tells them, "I was going to drop those on you guys, but I felt that'd be a bit off_ pudding _!" He laughs once more, "April Fools!"_

 _They were all mad at first, but soon, Betty, Chuckles, and even Mannie began to laugh!_

As it ended, the family stood there, shocked! Linka asked, "So, you didn't have anything planned for us?"

Lane shook his head, "Nope."

Loki asked, "And you didn't hire a bunch of impersonators to trick us?"

"Uh-uh."

Lynn Sr. asked, "And you didn't think to let us know that's what you were doing?"

Lane shrugged, "Well, I thought about it, but I figured that would make you guys even _more_ suspicious."

Everyone thought about it and agreed he was right about that.

Linka suddenly realized, "Wait. So that means," She looks shocked, "I attacked my favorite boy band."

Lynn Sr. frowned, "I turned down a chance to be world famous."

Rita frowned, "Me, too."

Loni frowned, "Me, four."

Lexx frowned, "I could've been on Broadway!"

Luke was near in tears, "I attacked my favorite rocker _and_ turned down a piece of rock history!"

Levi analyzed, "And I missed out on finally proving the existence of aliens."

Lars mentioned, "It'd be comical if it wasn't so tragic on our end."

Linka added, "And the worst part? It's all our fault." Linka scratches her arm in embarrassment, "Lane, I'm so sorry."

Loki said, "We all are. We literally acted like psychos over nothing."

Lane sighed, "I don't blame you guys. I know I can be crazy on this holiday. I just wanted to share my love for this holiday with all of you." He shakes his head, "So much for that."

Linka said, "But you _can_ share it with us, Lane." She suggests, "What if instead of pranking each other, we prank… _together_?"

Lane was shocked by this revelation and slapped his forehead, "Duh! Why didn't I think of that sooner?!"

Loki commented, "That's literally a great idea!"

As all the Louds nodded and agreed to the idea, Linka asks, "What do you say, Lane? It's still April Fool's Day? Got any pranks left?"

Lane thinks about it and pulls out a dozen eggs, "Well, I do have a whole dozen eggs I never used."

Linka grins, "Perfect."

At Mr. Grouse's house, someone knocks on the door and rings the doorbell over and over. Mr. Grouse storms towards the door, "I'm coming, I'm coming!" He opens the door, "Hello…" He's cut off as he got pelted by a dozen eggs!

After the barrage of eggs, Mr. Grouse shouts, "LOUDS!"

The family shouted, "APRIL FOOLS, MR. GROUSE!"

As everyone ran back inside, they were all laughing and giggling, Linka wiping a tear from her eye, "Oh, man! That was _too_ good!"

Lane laughs, "You said it, sis! In fact, we should do this again _next year_!" He mentions, "I actually saved a lot of my annual prank budget by not pranking you guys, so we can plan something even _bigger_!"

Loki mentioned, "Hey! We can have Levi turn my farts into stink bombs!"

Lynn mentioned, "And I've got a ton of dirty gym clothes we can use!"

Leif tells them, "I've got tons of moldy food we can use for something!"

Lane grins, "I like the way you guys think!" He asks Loni, "Loni, think you can make us a giant whoopie cushion?!"

Loni smiled, "Can I!?" He then frowns and wonders, "Can I?"

As the dimwitted Loud walks off, Lane looks to the middle Loud, who looked perplexed by something, "What's wrong, Linka?"

The white-haired girl answered, "I don't know. I just get the feeling I forgot something."

Back at the McBride's, Claire was _still_ looking out the window. At the dinner table, Howard asks, "Claire, honey! Aren't you coming to dinner?"

Claire yells back, "Not now, dad! Keeping an eye out for Lane!"

Howard shrugged and turned his attention to Harold. He whispers, "And I thought her Loki obsession was bad."

Howard suggests, "We better call Dr. Lopez."

* * *

 **April Fool's! Thanks once again to my readers and my co-writers for hanging around this long! Now, here's something that isn't a prank. After the first anniversary chapter I have planned for this story, I will be going on an official hiatus from this story. I have other current stories and upcoming ones I wish to focus a bit more on, but not to worry! I'll have a new chapter out just in time for the one-year anniversary since I've started! I appreciate everyone who's read for this long, as I couldn't have done it without all of you!**


	9. It's a Girl Thing Part 1

**A big thank you once again to SmokingWrecker. Just like with Debt by Chocolate, this chapter is inspired by one of the chapters to his story as well as the numerous people whom always suggest this story on every GB Loud House fic. This was originally going to be a one-chapter deal, but I've decided that this topic (which I will leave to the imagination of the readers, but I'm sure you're all smart enough to catch on) would work best as a two-parter, like a full episode. Unfortunately, I was too busy to write both parts in time, so part two will come out next month! Be sure to stay tuned!**

 **I tried my best to write this like an actual Loud House episode (which would talk seriously about this, but still find ways to be funny without undercutting the more serious aspects), and also talk about this subject without going into great detail, as even in today's world, this topic is incredibly touchy and controversial if not done in the right way,** _ **especially**_ **for a children's program.**

 **I'd also like to give a big shout out to my cowriter, for giving me a female's perspective on this topic, as it helps make everything more realistic. I hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 11: It's a Girl Thing (Part 1)

The scene opens up at the Loud House, Rita standing by a taxi, placing a suitcase into the trunk. Nearby was her husband and their children, whom were seeing her off. Lynn Sr. was holding Leon.

Linka explains, "Well, this weekend is going to be fun! My mom has to go visit my Aunt Ruth, who came down with something after eating some expired pudding. That means it's just me, my dad, and my brothers!"

Rita says to her family, "Now, are you sure you guys will be OK through the weekend?"

Lynn Sr. assured his wife, "No worries, honey! Everything will be just fine!"

Loki told her, "You just focus on helping Aunt Ruth get better."

Rita smiles, "Thanks, guys." She gives her baby, Leon, a smooch on the cheek and says, "Well, gotta go!" She waves to her family, "Goodbye, everyone!"

After she enters the taxi, it started to leave and everyone waved, telling Rita "goodbye".

Lynn Sr. asks, "Alrighty! Who's up for pizza and horror movies tonight?!"

All of the kids shout excitedly about it as they head back inside the house. Linka tells the viewer, "Sure, I do hope Aunt Ruth feels better, but at least we don't have to deal with an unexpected visitor this weekend."

* * *

The next morning, a sunrise rose just behind the Loud House. As Edvard Grieg's "Morning Mood" plays, Linka gently wakes up and stretches. As the music fades, she shifts in her bed and feels something wet. "Huh. That's weird. Why does my bed feel wet?"

Linka gasps, "Oh, no. Did I…" She gulps, "Pee the bed!?" She lifts up her blanket to look underneath and gasps. She covers herself back up, a look of fear and disgust on her face, and she squeaks out a statement, "No; _Worse_!"

At the McBride's house, Claire was stirred awake by her phone ringing. She answers in a groggy tone, "Hello?"

Linka says in a tone loud enough for Claire to hear, but still soft enough to not alert anyone else, "Claire, it's Linka! We've got an emergency on our hands. Code Red!"

Claire rubs her eyes as Linka talks, but at the mention of "Code Red", she shouts, "LOKI AND BEBE ARE GETTING MARRIED?!"

Linka bluntly replies, "Not _your_ Code Red! _My_ Code Red!"

Claire puts on her glasses and gasps, "You mean you got…" Claire whispers into the phone.

Linka nods, "I'm afraid so."

Claire panicked, "This is not good! I thought we wouldn't have to worry about this until middle school!"

Linka shouted, "Panic later, Claire! I need you to bring the supplies on the double, and I'll dispose of the evidence!"

Claire salutes and says, "Yes, ma'am!"

As they hang up, Linka groans, "Oooooh! Why always me!?" She looks at her bed and cringes.

After getting dressed, which included her usual outfit with a pair of rubber gloves and a surgeon's mask, Linka goes to the basement. She stuffs her linens and nightgown into the washer before turning it on. She wipes sweat from her brow, "Done." She removes the gloves, "Now, I just need to avoid my brothers until Claire gets here. That should be easy." She then takes off the mask and frowns, "Right?"

In the dining room, Linka was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal. Suddenly, all of her teen brothers, walk into the dining room. Each teen, excluding Loni, was holding a coffee mug.

Loki says, "Morning, Linka. How'd you sleep?"

Linka replied in a grumpy tone, "I slept fine. Thanks."

As they all sat down, Luke nodded, "Same here. Those horror movies weren't too scary last night."

Loni said, "I don't know." He trembles, "That giant spider movie was pretty scary."

Lane said, "Well, that killer clown movie had me _dying_ from laughter, though!" As he laughs, all of the brothers groan, and then he asks, "Get it?"

However, Linka simply snapped, "YES! We get it, OK!? We just don't find it funny!"

Her brothers seemed shocked by this, so Luke asks, "Whoa. What's your problem, sis?"

Linka glares at Luke, "I don't have a problem! _You_ have a problem!" She complains, "Sheesh! Can't a girl get some peace and quiet in the morning?! I know this is the "Loud House", but you don't have to make it so obvious!"

Loki looks worried and asks, "Linka… are you OK?"

Linka stands up from her chair, "I'm fine!" She stomps off, "Just butt out, OK?!"

Once she left, Lynn commented, "Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

Loni mentions, "But doesn't she always wake up on the same side?"

His brothers simply had a look on their faces that said "Really?".

Luke asks, "You don't think?"

Lane wonders, "Maybe…"

Loki waves his hand, "No way! She's only 11!"

Lynn chuckles nervously, "Yeah. What Loki said." Lynn then says to himself, "Whatever he just said."

* * *

At around 8 A.M., Claire snuck up to the Loud House, wearing a large backpack on her back. She slowly opens the door, poking her head inside. She sneaks in, closing the door slowly. She says to herself, "So far so good."

As she creeps along, she bumps into Loki, who was texting on his phone. She falls to the ground, causing Loki to say, "Whoops! Sorry, Claire."

Claire looks up and stammers, "L-l-l-l-Loki!?" She starts to do her usual "love struck" routine, but shakes her head and says, "I mean, hi!"

Loki asks, "What's that?"

Claire panics, "W-what backpack!?"

Loki bluntly asks, "The one on your back." He asks, sounding suspicious of Claire, "Are you trying to sneak something to Linka?"

Claire stands back up and proclaims, "Can't tell you! Girl stuff. I'm sworn to secrecy."

Loki bluntly offers, "If you let me see what's in the bag, I'll give you a kiss."

Claire quickly grinned and added, "On the lips."

"WHAT!?" Loki begrudgingly agreed, "Oh, fine!"

Once Claire puckered up, Loki got a great idea! He quickly rushes upstairs and into Leif and Lexx's room. Inside, one could hear Leif say, "Hi, Loki!" Leif then shouts, "Hey!" Loki runs out of the room, holding Hops. Leif gives chase, "Give me back Hops!"

Loki rushes back down, holding Hops. He then presses Hops's lips against Claire, tricking her into thinking Loki just kissed her.

Once he pulls the froggy away, Claire started shouting happily and doing back flips around the living room.

During which, Leif appeared and swipes Hops back, "Gimme!" He places the frog into his overall pocket, said frog giving a ribbit.

Once Claire was finished, she hands over the bag, saying dreamily, "Here you go."

Loki rummages through the back and says, "What the heck?" He pulls out some chocolate, "Chocolate bars?" He places it back in and pulls out a DVD, "Chick flicks?" He starts to list everything inside the bag, sounding more concerned with each item, "Ice cream, tissues, sad CD's, a heating pad…" He pulls out a bottle of pills, " _Painkillers_!?"

Loki gasps and suddenly realizes, "Holy moly!" He hands the bag back to Claire, "You get these to Linka, pronto!"

Claire replied, "As you wish," She says with a sparkle in her eyes, " _My love_."

As she skips up the stairs, Loki asks in a worried tone, "What have I done?"

Leif asks, "Is something wrong with Linka?"

Loki stammers, forgetting for a second that Leif was in earshot. "Um, I, uh… I-I'll tell you when you're older."

As Loki tried to walk up the steps, Leif calls out, "But…"

Loki snaps, "WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!"

This scared Leif into staying quiet. As Loki marched up, Leif rubs his chin, "Hmm…"

A moment later, Leif returns to his room, with Lexx playing with his action figures. The little prince sees his twin looking confused and asks, "What's wrong, Leif?"

Leif shrugs, "Hey, Lexx, do you know if there's something wrong with Linka?"

Lexx shook his head, "No. Why?"

Leif responds, "I don't know. Claire brought over a bunch of stuff for her, but when I asked Loki, he just did the whole "when you're older" bit."

Lexx scoffs, "I _hate_ when big kids tell us that!"

Suddenly, they heard their sister scream "YOU FORGOT THEM!?"

The twins look out into the hallway, looking towards their sister's door. They could hear Claire, "I'm sorry! I never got up the strength to buy them, and then I just forgot!"

The twins get closer so they can eavesdrop, putting their hands to their ears as Linka scolds, "Well, thanks a lot, Claire! The _one_ time I needed your stupid emergency kits, and you screw up!"

Lexx remarked, "Wow! Is she _really_ talking to her best friend like that?"

The door swung open, Linka standing there and asking, "Can I help you!?"

Both boys shouted and jumped, Leif saying, "Linka! Uh… W-we… W-w-we thought we heard screaming."

Lexx asked, "Is something wrong?"

Linka tells them, "Nothing's wrong, OK! And stop eavesdropping on me!" As she storms off, she rants, "Can't a girl get a little privacy in this house?!"

Claire approaches the twins, "Don't take it personally, guys. Linka's not feeling good today."

Leif asks, "Really? What's wrong with her?"

"It's a girl thing, Leif. You wouldn't understand."

As Claire takes her leave, Lexx asks himself, "A girl thing? What could that mean?"

Leif shrugs, "I don't know."

Downstairs, Lynn Sr. was sitting in the dining room, reading the paper and drinking his coffee. Luckily, his back was facing the living room. As Linka and Claire came to the bottom of the stairs, Linka sees him and shushes Claire.

As soon as the two girls snuck to the front door, Lynn Sr. looks over and says, "Morning, princess!"

Linka says to herself, "Dang it."

Lynn Sr. saw Claire, "Hiya, Claire! Where you girls going?"

Linka answers, "Nowhere!"

Claire answers at the same time, "The store." This got her a glare from Linka.

Lynn Sr. smiles, "Oh, great! I can drive you both, if you'd like! I've got some things to get, myself."

Linka shouted, "NO, THAT'S OKAY!" This made Lynn Sr. gasp, but then Linka cleared her throat, "I mean… No, thank you."

Lynn Sr. asks his daughter, "Linka, are you OK?"

Claire answered, "Sorry, Mr. Loud. Linka's not feeling good, today. She just got…"

Upon hearing this, Linka quickly covered Claire's mouth, "A great idea! We'll just walk!"

Linka promptly drags Claire outside of the house.

Lynn Sr. thinks to himself, "Now where have I seen _that_ behavior before?"

Outside on the porch, Claire asks, "What was _that_ about?"

Linka snaps, "Hello!? I didn't tell my brothers! Why would I tell my dad!?"

Claire gave Linka a nasty look, "Hey, don't yell at _me_! I'm just trying to help!"

Linka scoffed, "Oh, big help _you've_ been! First you forget the _one_ thing I truly needed, and _then_ you want to tell my dad about my problem!"

Claire snaps, "Then why don't you ask someone else to help you, you ungrateful BRAT!?"

Linka gasps and starts to tear up. She says in an offended tone, " _How dare you_?!"

As Linka starts to bawl, Claire instantly regretted her words. She sighs deeply and says, "Look, Linka. I'm sorry, OK? I know that's not you talking." This made Linka look up. Her bawling had ceased, but tears were still in her eyes. Claire continues, "I can't say I understand how it feels, but I can tell your emotions are a wreck right now. I guess I kind of forgot that for a second."

Linka wipes her nose with her wrist, "I'm sorry, too. I mean, my emotions are _crazy_ today, but that's no excuse to snap at you like that."

Claire assured her, "Don't worry about it, Linka. I'm here for you, girl."

Linka smiles, "Thanks, Claire."

The two girls share a quick hug. Once they broke it, Claire asks, "Why don't we walk to the store? It's not too far."

Linka shrugs, "OK!" She suddenly feels her stomach cramping up, "Ooooooh." She adds, "Right after I take some medicine."

Linka walks back inside, Claire in tow. As the two head for the stairs, Linka notices Charles rubbing against her leg. As the pup whines, Linka reaches down to pet him. That is, until she heard the sound of fabric ripping, "And change my skirt."

Suddenly, Levi appeared near Linka and analyzed, "Hmm. Odd. I know Linka's dietary habits have been normal as of late, and yet her skirt would suggest otherwise." He asks, "Have you noticed any changes in your biological mass as of recent, dear sister?"

Linka snaps, "In English, professor!"

Levi bluntly asks, "Have you gained weight?"

Linka gave a look of complete shock and offense. Claire merely said, "Uh-oh."

Linka shouted, "WHAT WAS THAT!?"

Levi was instantly fearful and says, "Whoops." He pulls out a remote control, "Teleporter, save me!" He pressed the button, and he disappears! However, his clothes were left behind.

From upstairs, they could hear Levi call out, "Could one of you bring my clothes?! I'd get them myself…" He says in a meeker, yet still hearable tone, "But my underwear didn't teleport."

This made the girls give looks of disgust.

* * *

As Aunt Ruth's, Rita was by Aunt Ruth's bedside. Aunt Ruth was under her covers, a thermometer in her mouth. Rita takes it out to look at the temperature. Rita comments, "Well, your fever has gone down a little, so we're making progress."

Aunt Ruth gives a violent cough, "Be sure to write that on my headstone, will you?"

Rita sits down on a chair that was pulled up towards the bed, "Not to worry, Aunt Ruth." Rita pats her aunt on the shoulder, "I'll have you back to…" Rita hesitates before saying, "Normal soon enough!"

Ruth then sniffed the air and gagged, "Speaking of normal, could you change the litter boxes?"

In another room, Rita was wearing gloves and a mask as she scoops up the contents of one of several litter boxes. She sighs and says in an irritated tone, "I hope Lynn and the kids are having a good weekend."

* * *

Back home, Lars was hanging out in the air ducts when he hears crying coming from Loki and Loni's room. Lars says to himself, "That sounds like Dad."

Lars crawls towards the vent just above the room, and sees Lynn Sr. on his knees, hugging Loki's knees as he cries, "Oh, Loki! Tell me it isn't true!"

Loki nods, "I'm afraid so, Dad. I recognized all the stuff from when Bebe has hers."

Lynn Sr. lets go and rocks himself in a fetal position, "No! Not _now_! Not my little princess!"

Loni frowned, "This is totes worse than her waking up on the wrong side."

Lane frowned, "I had a feeling."

Luke added, "More than a feeling." Luke asks, "What are we gonna do?"

Loki told them, "We are literally gonna do nothing!" Loki looks to his father, forcing Lynn Sr. to stand up, "Dang it, dad!" Loki slaps Lynn Sr. and then shakes his dad by his shirt, "Get a hold of yourself!"

Lynn Sr. shakes his head to snap out of it, "You're right, son." Lynn Sr. sniffles and then turns serious, "Loki's right, boys! This is a delicate situation we're dealing with here. All we've got to do is wait for your mom to get back from Aunt Ruth's so she can handle it."

Lynn nods, "Loki and Dad are right. This is a girl problem, and mom can handle it better than us." He awkwardly keeps adding on, "Because it's a girl problem. And Mom's a girl. Only girls know how to handle girl problems." His brothers all looked at him as if he had lost his mind, so he finishes, "Because it happens to girls. And only girls."

Lynn Sr. cocked an eyebrow, "Riiiiiiiiiight." He finishes, "The point is, we don't call your mother until it becomes an emergency. As long as we stay out of her way, we'll make it through the weekend!"

As they all nod and agree, Lars says to himself, "Hmm. What's going on with Linka?"

In her bedroom, Linka was on the ground, struggling to zip up her skirt. She sighs and says, "Sheesh! I feel like I've gained 5 pounds!" She whines, "And it's not even from chocolate!"

Claire kneels down next to Linka, "Allow me!" Claire grabs the zipper and uses all of her strength to get it to zip up!

Linka stands up and says, "Finally!" She notices her phone was on the ground and went to pick it up, only for her skirt to rip again! She shouts, "Oh, COME ON! That's the third skirt I've ripped!"

Claire told Linka, "Wait!" She rummages through the bag and pulls out some sweatpants, "I completely forgot about these."

In the air duct just above Linka's head, Lars was watching his sister and her friend. He says to himself, "Gasp. This is serious. I better tell the others."

* * *

At the store, Linka and Claire stood right outside the entrance. Claire asks, "Are you sure you can handle it, Linka? I can just go in for you."

Linka nods, "I'm sure." After a deep breath, Linka and Claire walk into the store, holding hands for comfort.

* * *

In Levi and Leon's room, Levi was doing some research as he looks over a piece of paper on a clipboard. He shakes his head, "I just don't get it!" He puts down the clipboard and walks over to his chalkboard, which was full of equations, "Despite my calculations, I can't seem to decipher the mystery of Linka's sudden weight gain!"

Leon stood up in his crib and asked, "Poo poo?"

Levi replies, "You're right, Leon. She's probably just constipated."

Lars appears behind Levi, "Wrong again."

Levi screamed but then scolded, "Dang it, Lars! Can't you see I'm busy?!"

Lars shakes his head, "No time for that. I think I know what's going on."

In Leif and Lexx's room, Lars, Leif, Lexx, and Levi were sitting at Lexx's little table. Leif asks, "What the heck is a "girl problem"?"

Lars shrugs, "I don't know, but whatever it is, our dad and big brothers are stressing out about it."

Lexx sips from a tea cup, pinky out, and then asks, "Maybe she just peed the bed?"

Levi comments, "Doubtful. Nocturnal enuresis isn't strictly a female problem, and no one in this house has had one for years."

Lars asks, "Well, there's got to be some explanation. Weren't you researching this problem, Levi?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid my research is limited. Our parents have forbidden me from reading anything about biology until I'm an adolescent, so I can't help there."

Leif then asks, "So, how do we find out what's wrong with her? I asked Loki, and he gave me the old "when you're older" rap."

Lexx suggests, "Let's just call mom!"

Lars shakes his head, "Can't. Dad said we shouldn't call mom until it's an emergency."

The boys are silent for a moment, contemplating their next move, when Lexx realizes, "Wait! I think I know _someone_ we can call."

In Great Lakes City, Ronnie was playing video games in his room when his phone started to ring. He groans and pauses the game, "This better be good." Ronnie answers the call, "Hello?"

Lexx answers, "Hey, Ronnie. It's Lexx. I need to talk to Bebe. No questions asked."

Ronnie asks, "Why didn't you just call _her_ , then?"

Lexx snaps, "What did I say about questions?!"

Ronnie rolls his eyes, "Fine. I'll go get her."

A half hour later, Linka and Claire return. Linka had a sour look on her face and a plastic bag clutched in her hand. As they head for the porch, Claire praised, "Wow, Linka! I still can't believe you stood up to Chandler like that!"

Linka stops in front of the door and comments, "I know! Nosy little punk! Yes, I _am_ wearing sweat pants! Yes, I _am_ buying these," She holds up the plastic bag, "Thank you very much! You wanna make something of it!?"

Claire pats Linka on the back, "Reel it in, Linka. You've already won. She backed off. It's _all_ good."

Linka took a deep breath and calmed down, "You're right, Claire." Linka smiles, "Thanks."

The two girls walk into the Loud House. As they close the door, Linka added, "Well, at least we've finally got them."

Lars appears behind them, "Got what?"

Both girls scream in terror, Linka clinging the bag to her chest. She glares at Lars, "For Pete's sake, Lars! Can't you go _one day_ without popping up and scaring someone!?"

Lars told his sister, "It's okay, Linka. I know you don't mean any of those means words." He bluntly tells her, "It's your girl problem talking."

Linka and Claire gasped loudly at this, with Linka dropping the bag. Linka grits her teeth and glares, asking through her teeth, "What… did you say?"

Lars replied, "I overheard our older brothers and dad talking about you, so I decided to investigate. I watched you both struggle with your skirt while I was in the air vent."

Leif, Lexx, and Levi enter the living room, with Lexx telling her, "We know all about it."

Leif tells her, "I was wondering why Loki was worried about that stuff Claire had in her backpack, but now we know it's because of your "girl problem"."

Linka looked to Claire, looking even more furious, "What?!"

Claire chuckled nervously, "I can explain!"

Leif shook his head, "Don't worry. We're here to help you!"

Levi adds, "Technically, I'm here to take this opportunity to study up on this so called "girl problem"."

Linka looks to Levi and shouts, "W _hat_?!"

Lexx revealed, "We managed to call Bebe, and she told us all about your "girl problem". Course, she wouldn't say much." Lexx bluntly adds, "No surprise there. But she _did_ say if we give you some space, you'll be just fine."

Claire heard that last part and said in a soft voice, "Uh-oh."

At the mention of telling Bebe, Linka's face turned beet red, her eyes bursting with imaginary flames. Her little brothers seemed frightened by this.

An exterior shot of the house was shown, when Linka suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs, "YOU DID WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Her scream was so loud, it actually shook the Loud House!

Back inside and upstairs, the teen boys rush out of their bedrooms. Loki asked, "Did you guys just hear that?"

Lane joked, "I _felt_ that. Hahahahaha! But seriously, we should probably check it out.

They all rush down the staircase, going halfway down to see what was happening.

Linka had chased her younger brothers into a corner. Linka tried to run towards them, but Claire was pulling on the back of Linka's shirt to keep her at bay.

Linka yelled at her little brothers, "Just wait until I get my hands on all of you!"

Lars begged, "Calm down, sis!"

Lexx said in a whiny and fearful tone, "We were just trying to help you!"

If looks could kill, Linka's glare would've made her little brothers drop dead, " _Help me_?! You spied on me, told others about my problem, and want to use me as a guinea pig! You call _that_ HELPING?!"

Leif assured her, "We only told _one_ person!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT!"

Levi asked, "Is this because I asked if you gained weight earlier?"

This only made Linka scream even louder and try to run to them even faster!

As the teen boys watched, all of them except Lynn seemed fearful of this. However, Lynn frowns and furrows his brow, "Oh, that tears it!"

As he tries to go downstairs, his brothers block him, Loki tell him, "Lynn, are you crazy!?"

Luke asked, "Don't you see how mad she is already?"

Lane warned, "Just stay out of it!"

Lynn frowned, "Oh, alright!" He turns to walk up the steps, only to quickly jump onto the wall near the steps, "PARKOUR!"

As Lynn lands from the wall onto the railing, Loki shouted, "Stop him!" Him and the other teens try to grab Lynn, only for all of them to miss grabbing him as he jumps forward. All of them said, "Dang it!"

Lynn jumps onto the couch, using it like a trampoline to propel himself upward. He does a somersault in the air and lands between Linka and the younger kids.

Lynn shouts, "That is enough!"

Linka stop in place and warned her older brother, "Lynn, get out of the way! This is between me and the boys!"

Lynn stood his ground, spreading his arms out, "No way! I don't know what's going on with you today, Linka, but if you want these boys, you'll have to go through _me_ first!"

Loni asked, "What did he just say?"

Loki shouted to Lynn, "You little liar! I knew you didn't know what we were talking about!"

Lynn shrugged, "So, I lied. It's not the first time." He changes his attention back to Linka, "But that's not important right now!"

Linka broke away from Claire's grip, but she only inched closer to her jock brother, "Listen, Lynn! You have no idea how horrible my day has been since I woke up! My emotions are a wreck! I feel like I've been gut punched by a gorilla! I'm bloating like a beached whale! I can't even fit into my clothes! The last thing I need is someone spying on me and telling my problem to the entire world!"

Lynn snapped, "That doesn't give you the right to act like a psycho, you…" Lynn hesitates before blurting out, " _Big, fat baby_!"

Just then, silence. Linka's face went from angry to expressionless. Her older brothers, her younger brothers, and even Claire looked shocked. Claire facepalmed herself, her face saying "He's dead".

Linka then started to tear up, her once angry voice now drowning in sadness and offense, and cracking slightly. "Did you just call me… _fat_?"

Lynn gulped at the realization of what he just said, "No, no, no! I wasn't calling you fat!"

Linka went back to being angry as she grabbed Lynn by his shirt and balled up her fist, as if she was about to punch Lynn's lights out. Everyone gasped and braced for what was to come, which Lynn covering his face, "NOT THE FACE!"

However, Linka's look of anger quickly changed to one of hurt and sadness. Linka released Lynn from her grip, and then run off crying. As she rushes pass her older brothers, Linka turns back and screeches, "I HATE ALL OF YOU! I WISH I WAS AN ONLY CHILD!"

As Linka rushes to her room, still crying hysterically, she swings it open and then slams it.

Back downstairs, everyone was dead silent until Loki and the other boys walk downstairs, Loki telling Claire, "Claire, you go talk to Linka. We'll take care of things here."

Claire nods, "OK." She picks up the bag and walks up the stairs.

Loki approaches Lynn and the little brothers. He orders, "Lynn, go to your room! I'm going to have dad talk to you once he gets back."

Lynn gives a sullen response, "OK."

As Lynn leaves, Loki tells the little brothers, "Guys, I think it's time we had a serious talk." Loki orders, "Lane, go grab Mrs. Coconuts."

Lane nods, "On it!"

Upstairs, Linka had her head in her pillow, crying her eyes out. Claire slowly walks into the room, gently closing the door. "Linka?" Linka didn't respond, so Claire just placed the bag on Linka's vanity mirror, "You dropped the…"

Linka sat up in a huff and sneered, "You!" She stands up and yells, "This is all _your_ fault!"

Claire glares, " _My_ fault?!"

Linka accuses, "If you had just bought those stupid things in the first place, this wouldn't have happened!"

Claire throws up her arms, "Well, _excuse me_ for just trying to help my best friend!"

Linka snaps, laughing a bit, "Oh, yeah! A lot of help _you've_ been! Forgetting the _one_ thing I truly needed, almost spilling the beans to my dad, _and_ telling Loki about my problem!"

Claire snaps back, "It was for a kiss! _On the lips_!"

"Well, I hope it was worth it!"

Claire frowns, "It wasn't." She sighs, "Look, Linka. I know you're upset, and I understand that, but I'm…"

Linka interrupts, "Oh, there you go, _again_! Being all supportive and understanding!"

Claire asks, clearly offended, "Excuse you!?"

"All day I've been acting crazy, and you just keep on nodding and grinning at whatever I say!"

"I'm just trying to help!"

"Well, I never asked for your help!"

"Yes, you did!" Claire reminded her, "Back when we found out about this last year!"

Linka screams, "Well, I'm not asking for it now!"

Claire looked like she was about to scream back, but then stomps her foot, "Fine! If you don't want my help, then I'll just leave!"

As Claire storms out of the room and down the stairs, Linka yells from her doorway, "Fine! Go ahead and leave! SOME FRIEND YOU ARE!"

As Linka pants, tears dangling from her eyelids, she hears a soft whimper. The door to Levi and Leon's room was wide open, with Linka having a full view of Leon in his crib. The 1-year-old was hugging his blankie, giving Linka a look of fear.

Linka sighed and said, "Leon…"

Leon quickly covered himself with his blankie, whimpering still. Linka was hurt by this, but the look on her face showed that she only blames herself for it. She returns to her room, closes the door, turns off the light, and climbs into bed, burying her face back into her pillow. She covers herself with her newly washed blanket, softly sobbing to herself.


	10. It's a Girl Thing Part 2

**Hello, everyone! I'm terribly sorry for how late this chapter was! Things got incredibly busy with the start of summer, and I couldn't find the time or to write! Well, I finally managed to find some time, so here it is! The final chapter to close out this fanfic! For now, at least. Thank all of you for staying around this long, and for your patience! I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

At Aunt Ruth's, Rita walks into the bedroom and removes the mask and gloves she was wearing. Aunt Ruth was sitting up in her bed, with a tray placed upon her lap. This tray held a bowl of soup, from which Ruth was eating. She seemed a lot better than she was earlier.

Rita asks, "How's the soup, Aunt Ruth?"

Ruth sighs after slurping another spoonful, "It tastes as good as I feel!"

Rita smiles, "Terrific! I may not be a chef like Lynn, but I do know a thing or two about curing a cold." Rita suggested, "But I should probably stay, anyway, just to make sure you're OK."

Rita then hears her phone ring, She pulls it out and answers, "Hello?" Rita looks concerned, "Linka? Sweetie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" She hears her daughter explain, and then asks in a state of shock, "You got your _WHAT!?_ "

The scene cuts to Rita in a taxi, with Aunt Ruth standing in the doorway of her house, "Sorry, Aunt Ruth! My little girl needs me!"

As the taxi drove off, Ruth asked herself, "Well, now what?" She walks back inside, "I wonder if there's any more of that pudding left."

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Lars, Leif, Lexx, and Levi were sitting on the couch, all of them looking quite sullen. From behind the couch, Lane squatted down and held up his dummy. Mrs. Coconuts takes a seat on the back of the couch, and Lane spoke through her, "Hiya, boys!" She asks, "What's the matter? Your faces look like mine when I see the business end of a wood chipper."

Leif asks, "Lane, don't you think we're a little old for puppets?"

Lars explains, "Just go with it, Leif. It'll be over faster."

Mrs. Coconuts goes in closer, "Come on, kiddos! Tell me why you're _down_ , so I can cheer you _up_!"

Lars replies, "Sigh. We did something bad Mrs. Coconuts."

Lexx explains, "Linka hates us, and all because we were trying to help!"

Levi bluntly adds, "And calling her "fat"."

Leif asks, "And for telling people about her "girl problem"."

Mrs. Coconuts nods, "I've heard. But don't worry about it, boys! Your sis doesn't hate ya! That's her "girl problem" talking."

Lars nods, "We know, but why? Why is it making her act so crazy?"

Mrs. Coconuts explains, "Well, boys, I know it sounds crazy, but she's acting crazy because she's growing up!"

The younger boys ask, sounding confused, "What?"

"Well, let's just say when people grow up, they start to "change" in certain ways. For instance, you notice how all of your big brothers are a lot bigger, stronger, and smellier?"

Leif nods, "Yeah," He then frowns and mumbles, "Lucky punks."

"Well, for girls, it's a lot… different. Girls grow on the outside," Mrs. Coconuts grabs her stomach, " _And_ the inside!"

Levi gasps, "Inside?" He scratches his chin, "Quite interesting." He then crosses his legs and asks with an out of character sense of wonderment and naivety, "Tell me more, Mrs. Coconuts."

Mrs. Coconuts says, "Oh, it's no fun at all! You see, when girls start to change, they start to hurt on the inside, they gain weight from nothing, and their emotions run amuck!" The boys seem more invested in this and listened, "One minute, the smallest thing will make her angry! The next, the smallest thing will make her want to cry. And the worst part? They have to deal with it EVERY. DAY. FOR. A. WEEK."

The boys, excluding Lars, exclaimed, "A whole week!?"

Lars grins, "Brutal."

Mrs. Coconuts nods in agreement, "It is. It's like when you first discovered Santa Claus ain't real!"

Lexx tearfully asks, "Saint Claus isn't real?"

The dummy stammers and retorts, "I mean the Tooth Fairy ain't real!"

Leif tearfully asks, "The Tooth Fairy isn't real?"

Mrs. Coconuts pulls her sweater collar, "Uuuuuh, I meant Bigfoot?"

Levi tearfully asks, "Bigfoot isn't real?"

Mrs. Coconuts stammers once more, "I mean, I mean, I mean…" She snaps her fingers, "It's the opposite of how you felt when you found out the boogeyman ain't real!" She gloats, "Nailed it!"

Lars asks, "The boogeyman isn't real?" Lars lies onto his back, "Rest in peace, child-like innocence."

Mrs. Coconuts facepalms and then lies, "Nope! They're real all right! I was just kidding!" She gives a hearty fake laugh.

Luckily, this made the young one's sigh in relief.

Lane wipes sweat from his brow, "Phew!"

Mrs. Coconuts asks, "But see how upset you boys got when you heard that? Your sister has to deal with that once a month until she's an old lady."

Leif realizes, "Oh, yeah! I think I'm getting it."

Lexx frowns, "Wow. Growing up doesn't sound like fun."

Mrs. Coconuts shrugs, "Yeah, but I'm afraid I can't say anymore."

Levi whines, almost sounding like your average child, "But why?"

Suddenly, there was a loud scream which sounded like Lynn Jr., "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The puppet responds in a deadpan tone, "That's why."

Cut to upstairs, the boys and Lane see Lynn in the bathroom, his head in the toilet as he vomits into it.

Right behind the group, Lynn Sr. admitted, "I figured he could handle the truth."

Mrs. Coconuts tells the boys, "But don't worry, boys! We'll tell you…"

Lexx holds up his hand, "Don't tell me. "When you're older", right?"

Lane breaks character, "Smart kid."

Leif adds, "Forget when I'm older. I don't think I _ever_ wanna know!"

Lars nods, "Agreed."

Levi concedes, "I suppose I could always wait to solve this little mystery."

Lynn Sr. tells them, "Glad to hear it boys!"

* * *

Cut to downstairs, the big brothers and their dad return to the living room. Loki tells the group, "Well, that takes care of the twerps, but I think it's time to call mom."

Lynn Sr. pulls out his phone, "I'm on it, son."

Suddenly, Rita swings the front door open, "I came as soon as I heard!" She rushes upstairs, "Mommy's coming, Linky!"

As they all stood there, shocked and dumbfounded, Loni praises, "Wow! She's good!"

Upstairs, Linka was sitting on her bed, drinking from a tub of melted ice cream. With tears in her eyes and a scowl on her face, Linka wipes the melted ice cream from her lips. She complains, "Stupid Lynn. Stupid brothers." She sniffles, "Stupid melted ice cream." After complaining about it, she chugs down some more, "Stupid Claire and her stupid emergency kit..." She frowns, "That she worked so hard to put together for me... and all I did was yell at her when she was too nervous to get that one thing I needed."

Suddenly, a knock on the door, and a voice calling out, "Linka?"

Linka gasps, "Mom? Is that you?"

Rita comes in the room and smiles, "Hi, Linky." She approaches Linka, sitting on the bed, "Are you OK?"

Linka sniffles again, "No." She hugs her knees to her chest and starts to tear up, "This has been the worst day of my life."

Linka begins to cry again, using her legs to muffle her crying, but to no avail. Rita scoots closer and embraces her little girl, hugging her tightly, "There, there, sweetie. It's okay. Mommy's here for you." Rita strokes her daughter's hair, "Now, why don't you tell me what happened?"

Some time later, the room was full of the emergency kit. Candles lit, music playing, a box of tissues upon the bed. Linka pulls out a tissue and wipes her tears. As she blubbers, she tells Rita, "A-a-and then…" She wipes her nose with the tissue, "And then after Lynn called me fat, I told the guys I wish I was an only child, and then Claire and I got into a huge fight!"

She blows her nose, and once finished, balls up the tissue. She tosses it onto the pile of used tissue on the floor.

Rita frowns, "Wow." The Loud matriarch placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder, "Sounds like you had quite a day."

Linka sniffles, "You can say that again." Linka whines as she hugs her mother, "This stinks! I drove away my best friend, I yelled at my brothers, and to make it worse, my little bros, Bebe _and_ the meanest girl in school all know about it!" She starts to tear up again, "My life is over!"

Linka cries into her mother's bosom, Rita telling her, "There, there. Let it all out, sweetheart."

Linka pulls away and asks, "Why does this stuff always have to happen to _me_?!"

"Linka, I know how it feels. It's just a part of growing up."

"Well, I don't _want_ to grow up, then!" She rants, "I liked how things were before this happened! Why can't everything just stay the same?"

Rita responds, "Linka, I know it seems like the world is against you right now, but take it from someone who's been there," She adds, "And still there. It'll get easier."

Linka scoffs, "Oh, yeah? How?"

Rita thinks for a moment and smiles. She tells Linka, "Linka, do you remember the caterpillar story from when you were little?"

Linka groans, "Oh, come on, Mom. I've heard that story a million times: The cute, chubby little caterpillar is me as a kid, and the beautiful butterfly is me as an adult."

Rita nods, "Right, but I never told you the _entire_ story." This clearly got Linka's attention, so she continues, "You see, what you're going through right now is a lot like what the caterpillar goes through to become a butterfly."

A visual representation starts to play over Rita's explanation, showing a caterpillar eating a leaf, "You see, at some point in the caterpillar's life," The caterpillar suddenly stops eating, looking quite downtrodden, "They start to change. The caterpillar isn't sure why it's happening now, but it knows it's happening." The caterpillar starts to crawl up a small tree and dangles form a small branch on it, "So, despite the caterpillar not wanting to go through the change, it starts to turn from the cute little bug it once was," The caterpillar fades into a chrysalis, "Into a cocoon. It's unsure why it has to go through this to become a butterfly, but accepts it as a part of life."

Back in Linka's room, Rita explains, "Right now, you feel all scared and unsure, maybe even a little awkward about what's happening. Just like the caterpillar, you're hiding out in your own metaphorical cocoon, trying to give yourself time and space to mature." She adds, "What's happening to you right now isn't something to be ashamed or afraid of. It's just mother nature running its course. All women go through "the change". I went through it, my mom went through it, and pretty soon, all of your little girl friends will go through it, too. In the end, it'll be worth it to break out of that awkward little cocoon, and become the butterfly you're meant to be." Rita asks, "Do you understand now?"

Linka looked a bit calmer than earlier, so she shrugs and answers, "I guess, but how are you so sure I'll become a butterfly?"

"Because I know you, Linka. You're a very smart young lady, and no matter what problems life throws at you, you always make it out OK." Rita chuckles, "I don't think I've ever seen a girl so prepared for this like you." Rita finishes, "Just know that no matter what, I'll always be there to help you whenever you need it."

Linka asks, "You promise?"

Rita nods, "I promise."

Linka smiles and hugs her mom, "Thanks, mom."

Rita smiles and returns the hug, squeezing her little girl tightly. As the two break their hug, Rita suggests, "Now, what do you say we go to mall and get you some new skirts?"

Linka hops out of bed, "Sounds like a plan!"

* * *

Some time later, Rita and Linka were driving back home in the van, Linka in a new skirt that looked exactly like her old one, but also holding a shopping back in her hand. She happily exclaims, "I still can't believe there are skirts with a built-in waistband." She looks to Rita, "You're a live saver, mom!"

Rita shrugs, "Think nothing of it, sweetheart."

As they drive, Linka looks out the window and sees the McBride house. She looks down and asks, "Mom, could we stop for a moment?"

Rita peeks out the window and sees the house. Before another word was spoken, she tells Linka, "Of course, sweetie."

Once they were pulled over, Linka walks up to the front door and takes a deep breath. She knocks on the door and Claire's voice calls out, "Who is it?"

Linka gulps, "Claire? It's me."

Through the door, Claire answers in a vocally irritated tone, "What do _you_ want? Come here to yell at me again?"

"Claire, please. I know you're mad at me right now, and I totally get it. I know I said some pretty nasty things today, but I swear I didn't mean any of it."

Claire scoffs, "Yeah, right!"

Linka spills out her guts, "Claire, just listen. This day has just been really crazy and stressful for me. Between the emotions, the bloating, the pain, as well as my brother's meddling and everything else, this has been one of the worst days I've ever had. But that still doesn't give me the right to act like a psycho, especially to my best friend." She sighs, "Like my mom said, it's an awkward time right now, and I don't need to go through it alone, and I really don't want to. I know you were just trying to help, and I didn't make it very easy."

Claire finally admits, "Yeah, well, I guess I didn't make it any easier, either."

Linka tells her, "But you did. You went through all that trouble to help make my girl problem less of one, and I'm grateful for that. I don't think any other girl would go to the lengths you went through just to help your friend with her problem. You're my best friend, Claire, and I couldn't ask for a better one." Linka sniffles and starts to tear up, "And… I really don't want to lose that." Linka asks, "Can you ever forgive me?"

After a few seconds, the door opens to show Claire, who was smiling as tears filled her eyes, "I already have."

Linka smiles, and the two besties hug it out. Linka breaks the hug and asks, "You wanna come back to my place? Me and my mom were going to watch that blimp movie she likes."

Claire asks, "You mean "Hindenburg"? My dads never let me watch that!"

Linka smiles, "I won't tell them if you won't."

Claire responds, "Fair enough!"

Back at the Loud House, Rita, Linka, and Claire were sitting on the couch. Rita was wiping her eye with a tissue, Linka was hugging a pillow, and Claire was watching the movie with a rather stoic look on her face.

The man in the movie says, "Swear it to me now, Daisy, and never look back on that swear."

The woman responds, "I'll never look back, Jake. I swear."

Claire scoffs, "Oh, come on. That parachute is big enough to carry both of them."

Rita and Linka both shush Claire. Claire mumbles, "I'm just saying."

Some odd minutes later, the credits roll and a cheesy love song starts playing.

 _Here  
_ _There  
_ _And ev-e-ry-where  
I know where  
My heart does belong_

Linka sniffles, "Wow. That was amazing."

Rita sniffles a bit, "Gets me every time."

Claire adds, "I don't know. I thought it was kind of cheesy."

Linka jokes, "Don't worry, Claire. You'll understand it one day."

Rita tells her daughter, "See? I told you this was nothing to be scared of. You just need to find a healthy outlet for your emotions."

Linka smiles, "Hey. You're right! I actually feel much better now!" She adds, "All things considered." Linka thinks aloud, "Maybe I can channel my anger into my drawings, or even video games!"

Rita tells Linka, "Now you're getting it!"

Claire admits, "I may not fully understand what's going on," She then smiles, "But I'm glad to see your handling it well, girlfriend!"

The trio share a group hug, Linka saying, "Thanks, Mom, Claire. I love you both."

Rita responds, "I love you, too, Linky."

Claire adds, "Ditto!"

As the hug breaks, they hear a familiar voice, "Inka! Inka!"

Linka looks down and sees Leon, "Hey, Leon!" She picks up her baby brother, and asks, "Did you want a hug, too?" She then notices a note pinned to the front of his diaper, "What's this?" She takes off the note and reads, "Linka, emergency sibling meeting."

In Loki and Loni's room, the siblings were all gathered for a sibling meeting as Loki announces, "I call this emergency sibling meeting to order." He points to Lynn, "Lynn and Non-Teens have the floor."

Lynn and the little brothers all stand up and Lynn clears his throat, "First, I'd like to issue an apology on behalf of myself and the munchkins." He admits, "Linka, I'm sorry we got all up in your business about your…" He coughs awkwardly, "Girl problem."

Lars shakes his head, "It wasn't right of us to invade your privacy like that."

Leif adds, "Or eavesdrop on you."

Lexx adds, "Or tells other people about it."

Levi adds, "Or to try and use you as a guinea pig."

Linka shakes her head, "It's OK, guys. You don't need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help," Linka looks to Lynn, "And I know you were just trying to protect them." Linka looks to the ground, "And, I'm sorry for yelling at all of you. You all are great brothers, and I don't hate any of you."

Loki tells her, "You don't need to explain to us, sis."

Lynn adds, "Especially me." He shudders, "I wish I hadn't slept through health class." Lynn adds on, "But, at least we can all agree on one thing. We need to start giving you more privacy so you can handle this thing, so…" Lynn raises his hand, "All in favor?"

All the bros raise their hands, "Aye!"

Loki smiles, "Motion passes!"

After he bangs the shoe gavel, Linka smiles, "Thanks, you guys."

Lynn responds, "Don't mention it," His voice suddenly cracks, "Sis!" He quickly covers his mouth.

Everyone gasps, and Linka asks, "Lynn… Did your voice just crack?"

Lynn lies, "What? No!" His voice cracks again, "Of course not!"

Lane jokes, "Well, I guess that's one thing your voice and butt have in common now: _A crack_!"

This made him and all the other siblings laugh mockingly at Lynn.

He yells, his voice still cracking, "Shut up! It's not funny! _Shut up_!"

Linka breaks her laughter to tell the viewer, "Well, at least I won't go through this alone."

After the scene fades to black, it fades back in to show Linka in her room. She was sitting on her bed, holding Bun Bun."

Linka tells the viewer, "Well, today sure has been crazy. I'll admit, this whole "girl problem" isn't that bad. It may not be the most glamorous thing, but it's all a part of growing up. I know it won't be easy, but with my mom and best friend by my side, I'll make it out of this just fine. And to all the male viewers, don't worry too much about it. After all, it's a girl thing. Period."

She waves, "See you all next time!" The scene fades back out, ending the story.


End file.
